tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877701130694862048.post507407328105541167..comments2023-10-15T05:37:40.094-05:00Comments on Simply, Valorie: On Breaking UpSimply Valoriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16750464898156390331noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877701130694862048.post-37548068087399607692009-07-09T10:32:03.474-05:002009-07-09T10:32:03.474-05:00I agree with Judy, those who are hurt are prone to...I agree with Judy, those who are hurt are prone to taking it too far. As in the examples of Boy A & B. As for the one you want to kill im just hoping you don't cuz then you would go to jail and that wouldn't be good. I think relationships can end well but at the same time they can't be instantaneous wellness. Both parties have to watch what they say because no matter how hard you try not to be mad, you read to far into things and make things bigger than they are and both parties are guilty of this. The problem is, neither party realizes they are guilty. So I say just cut of communication for a week or 2, just let everything settle, let both parties get their anger and emotions out of the way then talk. Talk about your relationship. The good and bad. It will hurt but it has to be done. It will help both people for their next relationships. It will help them fix their mistakes. Its not being a hater (see my most recent post) its actually being a lover if you talk like humans. Only 3 rules have to be present.<br />1) Any questions are fair game<br />2) There can be no getting mad at questions or yelling or sarcasm<br />3) Complete honesty is mandatory<br />Follow those three rules and everything will be fine. You'll get through this and i'm sure you can work it out with Boys A & B or one of them. Good luck!colomboricanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15178261117583245143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-877701130694862048.post-5527354898784434772009-07-08T09:18:58.553-05:002009-07-08T09:18:58.553-05:00I just - and I mean just last night - had a decent...I just - and I mean just last night - had a decent 45 minute phone conversation with my ex. (We've been in contact before but mostly through email since we weren't very good at talking on the phone without becoming angry.) So this morning I've been thinking about how nice it is to be able to have civil and even enjoyable interactions. <br /><br />You asked WHY it happens... so many possible responses. It seems at least part of it is about boundaries - respecting them, establishing them, whatever. This is a particularly important thing when taking things like Twitter, Facebook and the many other virtually instantaneous communication vehicles available to us these days.<br /><br />And then there's the complex dynamic hurt plays, one not to be underestimated. It is tough TO hurt and many of us don't even do a good job of acknowledging THAT we're hurting.<br /><br />And, you know, I'm of the opinion that there's really nothing wrong with getting angry. Anger provides us information and sometimes direction. It can help us transition through change to get where we need to go. That being said, what we DO with anger can be a major problem, of course. And I think your post makes that point very eloquently.Judihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08673956787551650956noreply@blogger.com