Simply, Valorie

Guest Blogger! Jacob on moving to China!

2012-02-14T16:45:00.000-06:00

So, you guys remember my adventures in China, right? I moved there for three months? It was crazytown... Any of this ringing any bells? No? Fine, here.

Anyway. This was written by my good friend Jacob. We went to school together, we've traveled a lot together, we studied Mandarin together, and now, he's going moving to China like I did! He's leaving today and won't be back until May. Crazytown! Anyway, give him some love and support - if he's feeling at all like I did when I moved, he's going to need it!

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I've recently come to the realization that you don't really fully consider a move until right before leaving. The last move I made to another country occurred when I was 8 and moving with my family to the Netherlands so that my dad could take an international job assignment with his company. Not only was I too young at that age to understand what was going on, I also had my family with me, which defrayed the fear of it all. Now, at the age of 21, fully able to comprehend the results of my actions, I have finally reached the last week or so before moving to Shanghai all by myself for 3 months. It is both extremely empowering and utterly terrifying.

While most friends I know study abroad over the summer, I decided to study abroad this semester in China because I was ahead of my degree plan and didn't want to graduate a semester early because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life (I don't want to grow up if you aren't able to tell). I first chose to go to Shanghai rather than Beijing because I've already been to Beijing and have contacts there. I wanted the opportunity to branch out and create a community in another Chinese city. You never know when it will come in handy. I leave on Valentine's Day (I know, depressing), and will be working at Shanghai Family Health Hospital and Clinics. I have the exciting tasks of research, preparing and participating in fundraising events, and speaking with NGOs that work with the hospital to write program proposals for their needs. Pretty cool, right?

I saw this opportunity to go to China as a blessing, a chance to experience a change of pace from the usual college life I was used to. I was still surrounded by my friends every day, taking classes, and living my life when I made this decision. This internship is going to look so good on my résumé, I thought to myself. I'd gain some experience, then be back with my friends in Texas in the blink of an eye. It wasn't until everyone went back to school for the spring semester and I did not that my tune changed. This period has acted as a transition before moving; I'm not in a foreign country yet, but I am having to deal with life without my friends. As much as I hate to admit that I am afraid of anything, this has been a scary process. Having to leave friends that I just met this semester has been difficult because our new relationships will have to be temporarily disrupted. Leaving my close friends has been even harder. I've been haunted by thoughts like, what if I can't find friends in Shanghai, or even worse, what if my friends back home move on without me while I'm gone? I've even wondered if, on the flip side, I'll want to come back when my 3 months are up. It has been an incredibly trying time for me. But at the end of the day, I'm going to China, there's no denying or changing that. There's no use freaking out about what if's when they'll only create even more fear. I've accepted the fact that in order to grow as a person, I need to go to China and experience life on my own. There will be hardships, but there will also be great achievements and adventures. After countless sleepless nights fretting over my insecurities, I am ready to pack my bags and get on that plane. I am ready for whatever these 3 months will hand me, and even more ready for the period of self-discovery and progress that is waiting for me. 加油！

Jacob is a student at Texas A&M majoring in International Studies.This is mainly how he and Valorie met. But the real essence of theirfriendship can be summarized by their mutual experiences with 13 hourdelays in Hotlanta, pub crawls, and rants over ineffective languageinstruction. Oh, and New Girl. Jacob blogs at La Vie Quotidienne. You can also follow him on twitter @olivezzzz. He loves cooking, traveling, and meeting new people!

Guest Blogger! Amy on Keeping Courage and Remembering the Good

2012-02-13T11:45:00.000-06:00

Amy is one of the first people who ever went from blog/twitter friend to IRL

friend for me. She's a twenty-something that's married to herhigh school

sweetheart and she's one of the most genuine and funny women I've ever met;

I'm so glad she wanted to guest blog here today! You can find her blogging at

 Crazy Random Happenstances, or  on twitter as @AmyReneePowell. Give her some

love too, guys!

{And I promise I'll be back for real soon!)

---

The end of school marked the biggest move of my life.



Me with my family on "the day"


I had already gotten married before graduation. I'd even already began my post-

graduation job. But when I actually got to that fateful day where I was to walk

across the stage, I couldn't believe it. I was about to stop going to school -

something I'd been doing for my entire life.

I know this isn't a new or unique feeling. Everyone sees graduation as the start

to something huge. The problem is, I'm almost 2 years out and still haven't

figured out what that something is going to be. I had to put my life on hold

because I was married, my husband had to finish school, and I wasn't quite sure

what I wanted to do next.

But now... My husband and I are both finally finished with college - and have to

decide where to go next. I'm back at the same place I was at right after

graduation. Except older.

We're juggling with questions like, "Do we keep our jobs?" and "How  close to

family do we want to be?" or "What do we actually want to do  with ourselves?"

We have graduate school and student loans and starting  our own businesses to

think about. And the "kid question" is coming up  much faster than I thought it

would. I know we'll find an answer for it all. It's just frustrating at times to

find myself back in the same place.



I've even resorted back to MySpace-backward pictures of myself


But then I remind myself that literally thousands and thousands of  people

before me have not only faced these same questions, but have  found answers to

them. And reminding myself of that makes me feel a  little more secure.

So I'm trying to remember that big moves aren't all bad. Sure, they are scary.

But they are also exciting. I can pursue that job that I'm really passionate

about, or move to a city I've only dreamed of just because. I'm also lucky,

because I have a partner to help make decisions.

I have no idea where I'm going to be living in 6 months. And for now, I'm

learning to be okay with that. Big moves don't come with clear answers all the

time.

Fill in the _____ Friday - 2.10.12

2012-02-10T10:31:00.002-06:00

As always, these lovely blanks come from Lauren's blog over at the Little Things We do! Check her out :)

1. I started my blog because I loved the idea of finding a community of people who were going through what I was going through; namely, being in college and trying to discover who you wanted to be.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs are stories with real, raw emotion, in which people are being open and vulnerable. It's not easy to do that and I seriously respect it. Plus, it makes it so much easier to feel like I'm getting to know another blogger and not just learning a craft.

3. Something I love about blogging is just how great and kind people can be - I've gotten so many lovely and supportive comments throughout the years that I've been blogging and I just can't be appreciative enough for them.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably going to be impossible to narrow down! There have just been so many that impacted me. Let's see: The Nouns is one of the sassiest things I've ever written, which is great; in this one (it has a stupid title that I hate now), I examine what love means to me, which got me so many responses from readers (and still does!) that I can't help but love it; The Darkness is the most raw and vulnerable piece I've ever written ever; and finally love, loss, hope, repeat means so much to me that I still feel my heart clench a little when I read it.

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog is that I'm actually pretty shy! I withdraw from social interactions of five people or more (which is probably why I haven't been to single blog conference yet - soon!). It's awful. I'm trying to get over it.

6. My new favorite blogs to read are Exile Lifestyle, Colin Wright travels around the world and writes about it - that's his whole "job" and I'm jealous, Ashalah's blog - she just moved from a big city to some big mountains; and No Ordinary Rollercoaster, which you've probably heard of because Ben is rather well-known in the blogging world (and deservedly so).

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are being too negative or too political. As you can imagine, I'm actually pretty political by nature (I did move to DC for a reason), but it's not something that translates well to blogging. I feel like it alienates people. Or would you guys like to hear my opinion on politics? Let me know.

As you guys know (or don't, hmmmm? New readers?), I'm in the middle of moving and getting settled into my new apartment right now (on top of working six days a week...ugh). I didn't plan on having time to blog today, or for the next week really, so I've got some wonderful guest bloggers lined up for you guys to check out. On Wednesday, Amanda told us about her move to Tennessee, and today the lovely Jennifer is here telling us about her big move to England. Give them some love!

Now, I've got to get back to my working-six-days-a-week life and then go home and crash on my air mattress in my unfurnished apartment. Weeee!

Have a great weekend! :)

Guest Blogger! Jennifer on Adventures in England

2012-02-10T09:15:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I'm still settling in and moving, so today I bring you another guest blogger - Jeniffer from Chaos Wrapped in Chocolate Covered Grins. What a precious name, right? Jennifer has been one of my most loyal, sweetest, and supportive commenters for a long time now and I love her insight on life that I haven't quite gained yet. Show her some love, okay? :)

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Iam a planner. I weigh options andconsequences and more often than not, get caught up in and overwhelmed by theplanning process and never act. I like that which is comfortable and familiarand always seem to be afraid of change.

Thatis why it took a total leap of faith (and a major step outside my comfort zone)to bring me to the place that I am today.

Thirteenyears ago, after a month-long visit to England to see my then-boyfriend who wasstationed in East Anglia with the Air Force, we decided to get married. I returned to my home in Texas and beganpreparations for the wedding to be held four months later. Just five days after the wedding, we were ona plane, with everything I could stuff in two suitcases, headed toEngland. I left all that I knew behind-my family, my friends, my home, the area where I had grown up and lived for thepast twenty-five years, in order to start my married life.

Tenhours later, we landed at London’s Gatwick Airport, collected our luggage andboarded a shuttle to the military base where his car was waiting to take us tothe home he was already renting off-base. The next nine days were a whirlwind of taking care of all the basics-getting my military ID, enrolling me in the system for healthcare, completingdriver training and obtaining a driver’s license to drive overseas.

Ninedays after my arrival in England, my husband left for a rotation to Italy forthirty days. I was left behind in ahouse that can only be described as “single guy chic” with the two dirty hand-me-downchairs I wasn’t entirely sure he didn’tpluck from the garbage, a television and bedroom furniture. I had made acquaintances with the neighborson my previous visit, but I didn’t know them that well. I was lonely andscared- and about to spend my first Christmas away from my family and friends-alone.

Iwon’t say that it was easy. It was very hard but I learned more about myself inthose thirty days (and subsequently the entire past thirteen years I have spentas a military spouse) than I had learned in my previous twenty-five years.

Islowly began venturing out with my neighbor at first and then on my own. I fell in love with England and it’s cultureand eventually, I became the friend that would pile people in my little Englishcar and navigate the small, winding roads that led us to the beach (aka “the seaside”), the local village marketdays and to shopping, the movies and restaurants in Cambridge. A trip to London was just an hour and a halfaway, Paris was an easy weekend trip and we even went on a weeklong tour by busto Italy.

Ilived in England for two years before we received an assignment back to theU.S. and I loved every bit of it- even the parts that weren’t so great. It was an incredible learning and growingexperience that I believe helped me gain the necessary skills for dealing withthe quirks of being a military spouse. I would not change a single thing about it (well, I would have visitedRome one more time before leaving).

“Whatdid you learn?” you ask.

I learned that I can step outside of mycomfort zone and everything will be okay. I am much stronger than I think I am. I have a level head when I needone. I can figure it out on my own. I can adapt to new environments and blendin. I can be one of the crowd. I canalso stand out and be me. I can learn from every experience the good and thebad and take a lesson away from it.

“Wouldyou do it over again the same way?”

Absolutely! I was incredibly lonely and sad the first sixmonths, but that was necessary for me to grow and become who I am today. I feel my entire outlook on humanity, theworld and politics is different because of my experience living in anothercountry and getting that different perspective. I know that even now, when times get hard, I have it in me topersevere. I can get through it and be abetter woman because of it.

And?

Iwould go back to England in a New York… er… London minute!

About Jennifer:

Iam a military spouse who currently calls New Jersey home (until Uncle Sam tellsme otherwise). Mymajor in college was liberal arts with a concentration in elementary educationand a minor in music, which pretty much just makes me a big ole nerd. But I like me that way. I have an eight-year-old son and afour-year-old daughter that simultaneously, fulfill me, entertain me andthreaten to steal my very sanity. Most daysI can be found reading or writing, but some days I can be found rocking in thecorner with a bag of Doritos. It’s justhow I roll. I blog at Chaos Wrapped in Chocolate-Covered Grins.

Guest Blogger! Amanda on Starting Over.

2012-02-08T13:25:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! I've been in DC a little while now, but I'm currently trying to settle in my new apartment and not go crazy with all the packing and moving, so I've asked a few blogger friends to come over here and let you read a guest post from them about their moving experiences. Today is Amanda, from Teasingly Diverse, who I've bonded with over our shared 101 in 1001 adventures and recent graduate status. Enjoy!

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Sometimes in life, you have to step out on a limb. Other times, you have to take a flying leap of faith.

Growing up, we moved around a lot. In elementary school, my family moved from California to Oregon and at 10 years old I had to learn how to start again. New state, new town, new culture, new friends. I thought my life was over. I didn't want to leave my friends. The only life that I knew. My entire extended family. Yet, looking back on my life, I don't even remember the details of those early years so much as I do growing up in Oregon. What I thought was ruinous to me actually turned out to be a blessing.

I think the seed of a wandering spirit was planted in me with that move (even if against my will at first). Following high school graduation, I packed up and moved 2,000 miles away to go to college in a state I'd never been to before at a school where the only person I knew was my admissions counselor. Those were the best 4 years of my life. In 2008, my life crammed into one suitcase and a backpack, I stepped off a plane in Paris, France to try my hand at living abroad for a semester. It was an incredibly difficult and extraordinarily beautiful six months. I returned, and promptly drove myself cross-country to move to California for law school. My home state, yet a city I'd never been to and yet again - not a single familiar soul.

As I settled into life there, I thought my wandering days were behind me. Finally, I was putting down roots that I thought would stay planted. But life is full of surprises and new adventures. As 2011 drew to a close, graduation behind me, I felt strongly that a new chapter awaited me and it was going to take a lot of bravery, risk, and pluck to navigate it.

I took that flying leap of faith, packed up my car again, and headed southeast.

My destination was Nashville, Tennessee and after nearly 3 weeks calling this city home I can already tell that it's winning over my heart. New beginnings aren't guaranteed to be easy, and this hasn't been. It takes awhile to wrap up the loose ends behind you and begin building new relationships. But looking back over the past few years I can say with certainty that openness to new things, to a new story, has never steered me wrong. I'm finding my way here, slowly but surely. I can't wait to see what the rest of 2012 holds.

Thanks for having me, Valorie! I wish you nothing but the best on this new adventure and if you need a recommendation for a great farmer's market in DC let me know (my uncle has one there) :)

Amanda is a 26 year old recent law school grad learning to love Music City. A Pac-12 girl now in an SEC world, she can't quite bring herself to root for any of their teams. Yet. Amanda blogs at Teasingly Diverse about the adventures and challenges of trying to complete 101 Goals in 1,001 Days. She's also got a slight Twitter addiction (@amandalou01)

Evaluating January and the February Goalsteps

2012-02-01T11:11:00.000-06:00

{mine.}

As I mentioned in January, I want 2012 to be awesome, I want to live as loudly and voraciously as I can, and I want to skid into New Year's Eve looking back and saying "that. was. awesome."

To do that, I got organized. I made buckets that together define my life: Creativity, Exercise, Friendship, Romance, Self-Improvement, Career, Photography, Internet Everything, Do Uncomfortable Things, Finances, and Travel. Yes, 11 buckets.

In each of those buckets, I set three big huge goals that would make me thrilled to accomplish. In a couple buckets, I actually set 4 goals (oops).

Will I accomplish all 33 35 goals? Maybe. But probably not. Priorities will change. I'll realize it's not something I actually want to do. Some won't be possible at first and will have to wait. Some I've already finished. But I'm already liking this system, even though it was hard to do this month with all the moving.

To get these 35 goals done, each month, I sit down on the first (today!) and I write down one goalstep to do that month. Why 'goalstep'? Because it's the step I'm going to take that month to make something happen. It takes a little pressure off and keeps me moving forward.

My goals for January went okay. It was hard doing a lot while I was trying to find apartments and living in someone else's space. But I think I got a lot done, and while some had to get rolled over, it's been a wonderful process. And now, I want to share some of my February goals with you guys. Partly to keep me accountable, partly so I can't lose the stupid piece of paper I write my goalsteps down on (I did this in January and it threw me for a loop), and partly because I know seeing other people's goals inspires the heck out of me, so maybe I can help someone else out that way too.

The Exercise Bucket
Get a gym membership
Become a yoga studio member
Lose 1 pound (I want to lose 12 pounds over all this year, so 1 pound a month)

The Friendship Bucket
Make all my Skype dates with KJ and Cyndi (I miss you guys so much!)
Make and send a birthday gift for two friends back home
Move into a dog-friendly apartment (this is so I can get a greyhound!)

The Self-Improvement Bucket
Get an apartment (this is so I can set a cleaning schedule and keep to it)
Set up a handwriting template (my ultimate goal is to be good at calligraphy to address letters)
Stop biting my lips

The Photography Bucket
Do a staged bridal shoot (if any of you know a good thrift store I can pick up a wedding dress, or anyone who would be willing to model for me, email me at valorieclarkphotography {at} gmail {dot} com!)
Be a second shooter for a wedding
Save $50+ dollars toward this lens.
Find a few photography contests to enter

The Internet Everything Bucket
Hit 100 followers on this blog (if you've got tips or want to help out, shoot me an email!)
Start selling ads in March (for now, I'm doing button/ad swaps! If you're interested, email me!)
Find out how much it would cost to get my blog it's own domain

The Creativity Bucket
Pick one novel to start working on again
Make this 2012 memories jar
Read A Prayer for Owen Meany

The Do Uncomfortable Things Bucket
Find a place in/near DC to either free-fall or bungee jump (Anyone know of a good place?)
Take good care of my hair (this is so I can donate it in May!)
Sign up for the Color Run in September! (Sign ups open today!)

There are other buckets (Finances, Romance, Travel) but those are more private and/or boring, so I didn't share them. What do you guys think? Anything on here you're doing? Anyone want to sign up for the Color Run with me? It's only a 5k and I need the encouragement!

Also - I'm still looking for guest bloggers and still thinking about that advice column idea. Tell me your opinions!

Ready? Go!

first photos from DC, 10 things 10 days have taught me, and the idea to start a snarky advice column.

2012-01-29T14:05:00.000-06:00

{mine.}

I've spent the last ten days being busy. And constantly surrounded by other people. My first moment of reprieve was on Sunday morning, when everyone went to church and I stayed at home to breathe.

But let me back up.

I got here the night of January 19th. I've been staying with a friend and her two room mates until I find my own apartment (I have some leads - keep your fingers crossed, PLEASE!). I've started my part-time internship, interviewed and got a part-time job that will pay some bills, and have felt overwhelmed. I've made a few new friends, gotten closer to the friend that I'm living with, and done so much apartment hunting that I think I should be allowed to design my own now because I could do it well. (Sorry, every architect I just insulted.)

10 days in DC has taught me a lot.

People are nicer here than everyone "warned me" they would be. I don't know if it's because Texans want to be the most hospitable ever (we are!), but every time I told someone I was moving to the east coast, they would saying something along the lines of, "You know, people in the Northeast just aren't as nice as people from the South." Well that's just false. I've gotten lost and been helped by total strangers, I've made friends at work (already!), and have had longer conversations with the woman checking me out at Target here than I ever did in Texas.

There's just too much to do in DC. It's impossible to stay in because there's always a new restaurant to try, a museum to go to, or a show to see. I will literally never be bored here.

"Business casual" is the loosest term ever. In one of my offices, business casual means non ripped jeans and a sweater, and in the other office slacks, a button up shirt, and heels. What the what? (What does "business casual" mean to you?)

For a control freak like me, the metro is the worst invention ever. I can't control when the train comes or whether or not in breaks down? I'm twitching just thinking about it. I miss having a car. [Did I ever tell you guys about the car accident I got in in November than totaled my car? No? Basically, a car behind me hit me and shoved me into the car in front of me. Not my fault at all and I wasn't hurt thankfully, but now I'm car-less. Boooo.]

I am crazy about old architecture. I mean, I think I always knew that (hello, love affair with all of Europe ever), but every single old building in DC makes me gasp because I think it's so pretty. I just wish the metro was above ground a lot so I could see more of the buildings while on my way places.

Apartment hunting is the most exhausting and frustrating endeavor ever. I've lost count of how many I've looked at (eleventy billion? easily), but I have two leads, so hopefully one will play out soon and I'll be able to move in somewhere soon! Because, also? Not having a space to call my own is really stupidly exhausting. I live out of a suitcase on my friend's floor and while I'm crazy grateful she's letting me do this, not having my space makes me feel directionless and confused and out of wack. I also hate living out of a suitcase because it means I have like 10 shirts and 5 pairs of pants and no accessories and I'm starting to lose it. Professional nomad? Out of the question.

Have you ever tried heated Vinyasa yoga? I hadn't until I got to DC and now I love it. My thoughts on it? THE MOST SWEAT EVER EVER. The most excitement to take a shower ever ever. The best work out I've gotten in a long time. I love this style of yoga now, and I totally recommend it. Also, I'm going again tonight. I'M SO EXCITED.

I literally have no idea to walk in snow. I remember dealing with this when I went to Montreal, but three days of snow on the ground in DC taught me that I need to leave twice as long to get somewhere as I actually think I need because I'm terrible at walking in the snow. I fall like every 10 feet. I'm about to tie tennis rackets to my shoes to walk everywhere... that works, right?

When the sun is out, DC is crazy beautiful. I'll always love Texas skylines (see below), but DC sunsets are becoming a close second (see below below).

{mine.}

I very easily get obsessed with shows. My newest obsession? Bones. I've always loved it, but I've been watching like 4 episodes a day for the past few days. It's a problem. Especially because I think it's keeping me from going out more, which needs to happen better. I love to be out and about - time to close the computer and act on that!

Which I'm about to do! But two things first:

I'm still going to need a few guest bloggers for when I finally do move and stuff, which is when I'll be obnoxiously busy. More busy than now. So if you're interested in guest blogging about moving to start a new job, or just moving in general, let me know! You can reach me at valorielovely {at} gmail {dot} com.

Also, I'm thinking of starting a snarky advice column on here. I'll try to really help, obviously, but also? The snarkiness. Would you guys like that? Would you submit your quandries and conundrums to me? Did I spell those words right, because Blogger says I didn't. But Blogger also says 'snarky' isn't a word and that's wildly false.

Wildly.

airport bars, mother-daughter realizations, and being bad at goodbyes.

2012-01-20T13:35:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting at the bar in the DFW airport TGI Fridays as I start to write this. My back is to everyone else because that's how I always am at bars. Unapproachable.

For the past few minutes, I've been trying to get some work done. I answer questions and write articles over at GreenAnswers.com, and I'm a little behind on my assignments.

My excuse? Well, I'm moving.

Earlier, when I was checking in, my bag was seven pounds overweight. It was one of two bags I had to check, and I already had two carry-ons too. To some extent, this is how I always am. I overpack because, well, I'm always prepared for anything, which is why I'm always my friend group's "mom." That seven pounds almost cost me an extra $100 (on top of the $60 I was already paying - thanks AA). But when I told the woman checking me in just why my bag was overweight, she waived the fee.

"Well ma'am, I'm moving. And these are all my possessions in the world."

It was only out on the curb moments before that that the finality of leaving hit me quite distinctly. My mom was dropping me off, and we were never good at goodbyes. But we hugged a few times and got a little choked up and I realized that for the first time in my life, I was going to be away from her and the rest of my family for an indefinite period of time, with no simple drive home.

In that second, I saw myself the way she must see me, as the woman she raised; her legacy. Quiet and hard-working, with a passion for equality. Someone good at writing down her thoughts, but not as good at being vulnerable with others. Perhaps a touch impatient.

Most of those qualities are qualities of my mother. Except the quiet; my dad is the quiet one. But in so many other ways, I am my mother's daughter. And I know that now because I'm okay with moving halfway across the country to pursue a vague dream, like she did when she graduated from college.

Now, as I'm sitting on the plane and looking at the American landscape spreading out below me for miles, I know I'm doing the right thing by moving to DC. It feels right.

I've always been bad at goodbyes, but I sure am good at hellos.

one way plane tickets, Coldplay, and big life decisions

2012-01-16T22:25:00.001-06:00

{via.}

This Thursday, I'm moving to Washington, D.C.

Yeah, life just got real.

I'm excited, you know. I've got a one-way plane ticket and a suitcase full of suits. I start my new unpaid, part-time, but awesomely exciting internship on Monday, the 23rd. On Tuesday the 24th, I have an interview for a new, part-time, not-well-paid-but-at-least-it's-money, grown up job.

And soon, I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Once we find a place. For now, I'm sleeping on my friend's floor (thanks, girl!) and hoping that that situation doesn't last terribly long because I don't even have a sleeping bag and I detest living out of a suitcase for extended periods of time. But still, a big thanks to my friend for letting me sleep on her floor at all. :)

But, you know those butterflies you get in your stomach when you're on the cusp of something huge? I've got a lot of those right now. I don't have a lot of time to be nervous because I'm running around seeing friends and getting ready and making phone calls, but occasionally I have a second to pause and think, "Oh hell." I'm moving halfway across the country, and I only have two friends there who have got my back. My family is mostly spread throughout the south and California - I'll be the first to move to DC. And so, the butterflies.

Most of the time, when I get those butterflies, it's okay - they just remind me that I'm right at the edge of something amazing, and all I have to do is push forward. Often, they're a good sign, a sign that I'm doing something right. But sometimes they scare me; I start thinking - what if something goes wrong? What if I fail?

Then I just think - You know, Coldplay is still around. They're still famous. They didn't fail. If Coldplay can do things, and be successful, I sure as hell can.*

And that always makes me feel better.

*I really don't like Coldplay. I know a lot of you do. I just...I don't get why they're famous. I'm sorry. You can substitute the band you hate the most in here, it'll work the same.

P.S. I'm going to be needing some guest bloggers in the next few weeks. I'm looking for five people who can talk about big moves and they're experiences with it. If you're interested, please email me at valorielovely [at] gmail [dot] com.

Fill in the ____ Friday - 1.13.2012

2012-01-13T13:10:00.002-06:00

1. The last thing I ate was scrambled eggs and a donut. Supah healthy! .

2. The last song I listened to was A song from the Old 97's - can't remember which! .

3. Using the letters in my name I can spell [Valorie] Valor, IV...aaaand that's it, I think .

4. If I had to dress in one color for the rest of my life I would pick black - weirdly, it's become a default color for me anyway .

5. If you were to look in my bag right now you'd find my new iPhone4S! lots of gum, a wallet, countless little iTunes cards for free song downloads from Starbucks .

6. When I finish filling in the blanks I'm going to get back to doing my job at GreenAnswers.com and hang out with my boyfriend .

7. My all time favorite song to dance to is I like to dance to everything all the time, so anything with a good beat works for me! .

Want to fill in some blanks too? Go link up with Lauren!

What are you guys up to this weekend? I'm in San Antonio visiting my boy for a few days, then it's back up to Dallas to pack for me. This is going to be my last weekend in Texas - crazy!

the resolutions, being honest, and the desire to be furiously proud of myself this year.

2012-01-04T12:10:00.000-06:00

{via}

I noticed that most bloggers have already done their first 2012 post. Everyone's talking about resolutions, and their plans and dreams for this new year, this blank slate.

I didn't have anything to say at first. In part because I'm not the best at coming up with interesting resolutions, but also because when I was really reviewing 2011 in my mind to start thinking about 2012, I realized that there's not a lot from the year that I'm furiously proud of. There aren't many memories from 2011 that make me want to dance, or that I want to brag about to other people.

The things that I am furiously proud of: Meeting and getting together with my boy, and everything that comes with our relationship. Establishing VCP. Graduating.

Beyond these things, much of 2011 felt very 'eh?' I avoided talking much about it here because I felt like I've said a lot of what I feel comfortable saying already, but occasionally things slipped out on twitter.

That freaked me out, honestly. 2011 hadn't been a total waste obviously, but why was there so little I was proud of? I started out with good intentions, and decent resolutions, but not a lot manifested out of that. And I realized: It's because I wasn't intentional with it. I just went into 2011 thinking, "Okay, this is what I'm changing rightthissecond for the whole year aaaaand... DONE." I wasn't intentional with continual growth after that. Maybe that's partly because growth and change was forced on me (what up, China and graduation?) but it's also because I just assumed I'd do all this change as soon as I woke up on January 1, would be the best person ever because of that, and didn't have to reconsider for another 12 months. And in a way, I think that's what we're all saying with New Year's Resolutions, and why so often we fail.

We can't just change over night, and we can't just assume one drunken goal-making decision will be all we need that year.

So I went back to a post a blogger I really admire had written a few weeks ago about her goal-setting exercises for the year. I consider Nicole successful and to be living a genuine life that she seems to truly enjoy, so I thought I'd give them a try. Her strategy is: (go to her post to read more in depth)

1. Make an 'Eff Yeah' list of things you're really proud of.

(See above.)

2. Choose a word to represent your dreams for the coming year. Examine why you're choosing that word.

My word is Explore. As a new college grad, I want to take this year to literally explore my options - to find a job where I fit and a path that suits me. I want to explore myself, and find out who I think I'm becoming, if I like that woman, and what I can do to make her better. I want to explore the world too - I want to travel now, while I don't have any thing tying me down like kids or a mortgage or whatever.

3. Create some 'Life Buckets' that represent the sum of what makes you who you are and how you spend your time.

Nicole suggested 9, but I ended up including work and finances, which she doesn't include, so I have 11. (Maaaaaybe overkill. We'll see.) Mine are: Self-Improvement, Exercise, Romance, Friendship, Career, Finances, Photography, Travel, Internet Everything, Do Uncomfortable Things, and Creativity.

4. Write down 3 big goals for each bucket that you'd like to accomplish by the end of 2012.

I won't list all 33 here for you guys (that would be overkill). But some of my favorite ones are things like bungee jump or free fall (Do Uncomfortable Things), get hired to shoot a wedding (Photography), learn really cute calligraphy (Self-Improvement), move this blog to it's own domain (Internet Everything), and adopt a greyhound (Friendship). All of those goals are ones that either make me smile hugely or make my heart pound in a way that makes me know I'm on to something awesome. The important thing is that I don't have to start doing all of them rightthissecond.

5. On the first of every month, write down an action step for each of those three big goals for you to accomplish that month.

So, my action steps this month? Print out some calligraphy inspiration, see if there are greyhound adopting shelters in DC or if I'll have to go out of the city, and start upping traffic to my blog so I can rationalize paying to host it somewhere. Am I going to finish all 33 action steps this month? No, probably not. I may get like 15 done. But then I can look at the other 18 and figure out - okay, why didn't I do this? Maybe it'll just be laziness, or maybe it's because I'm trying to force myself to do something I don't actually want to.

That last sentence is especially important to me. There are things in 2011, and from all of college, that I did because they were what I thought I should do or had to do. If I'm being honest, taking Chinese and going to China are on the list of things I did because I thought I had to, not because I really wanted to. The result? Going to China is not something I'm furiously proud of. I haven't spoken Mandarin once since getting back stateside. And I never ever want to return to China if I don't have to. There were some nice side-effects, like making some of the best friends I've ever had through Chinese class (like Jacob), and for those I'm grateful, but often I wonder how things would have worked out if I'd taken French.

6. Talk about them.

Obviously that's kind of what I'm doing here. But I'm also talking to my friend KJ about this stuff, as well as my boyfriend, and to my mom. None of them can really give me good advice on increasing blog traffic or proper greyhound care, but that's okay.* Because just talking about it makes it seem more real, and more like something I can do.

A big thanks to Nicole for creating this system and sharing it with all of her readers.

And now, a question for you guys - do you do goal setting exercises like this? What works for you to stay intentional in your lives?

*If you can give me good advice on increasing blog traffic and/or proper greyhound care, hit me up in the comments or at valorielovely {at} gmail {dot} com.

P.S. I revamped the blog, so if you're just reading in your RSS feeder, come check out the new about page, the new header, and a few other new things!

The 2011 Review

2011-12-31T15:00:00.005-06:00

{via.}

I found this on Holly's blog, and I loved the idea of reviewing 2011 before moving on to 2012. I think it's fun to see how much things have changed over the years by doing some review like this every year. If you decide to do something like this too, let me know in the comments so I can go read yours too. :)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

I mean, I guess graduating from college counts! Haha. I also went to Canada on a trip with friends (first just-friends trip!) and I studied abroad in China. I also created my official Valorie Clark Photography blog (and am still accepting clients for 2012 - contact me there)!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did make resolutions, and I did keep 2/3! I think that's very impressive, for me at least.

(Which fell apart? Project 365. :c )

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, but my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, which was very troubling to me. She's doing well, but at 86, any sickness is tough for her to beat.

5. Did you visit anywhere exciting?

I went to Montreal in January, I studied abroad in China over the summer, and I went to Washington D.C. (and decided to move there!) in October.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A budget! I'm so so so bad at budgeting I need to figure one out for myself.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Oh man, I don't know. I'm bad with dates. My boyfriend and I started dating on January 27th. We graduated from college on December 17th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Graduating from college FOR SURE!

9. What was your biggest mistake?

I try not to think about it. We all make mistakes, the best way to deal with them is to learn from them then move on.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

For once, I think all I was sick with was some colds. Some bad ones, but just various colds.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Definitely my Erin Condren planner! Most organized I've ever been, for real.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My boyfriend! He has been wonderful all year, especially during all the thesis writing stress.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one made me depressed, though one person's made me appalled. That's the most I'll say though.

14. Where did most of your money go in 2011?

Gas (ugh), clothes, and coffee dates.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

So much! There was a lot to be excited about - I studied abroad, I graduated from college, I got a great internship working for a company that does work I'm passionate about - 2011 was a pretty exciting year over all.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Closing Time, by Semisonic.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier, absolutely.

ii. thinner or fatter? I think I weigh roughly the same. Maybe a few pounds lighter.

iii. richer or poorer? About the same, I think. Maybe a little richer from all the graduation presents.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

I wish I'd saved more money, I wish I'd gotten better grades in the spring, and I wish I had done more of the things I'm the most passionate about.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

I wish I'd spent less money on frivolous things, and I wish I'd sat at home less.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

The same way I always spend it. :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I sure did. :)

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Friends, as always, though I also discovered How I Met Your Mother and loved it too.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is too strong. Dislike? Not really. I think it was a good year for friendships.

24. What was the best book you read?

Hmm... I read so many this year. I really loved Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling (one of the writers of The Office).

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Adele. I discovered her literally on January 1st last year and spent all year in love with her voice.

26. What did you want and get?

Tough. I wanted to kick start my photography business and I think I did an okay job. You tell me.

27. What did you want and not get?

A greyhound. But that's what 2012 is for. :)

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 21 this year, and since I was in China it wasn't a big deal at all (the drinking age there is 18 whenever you can see over the counter). My parents were visiting me though, so that was nice. I had dinner with them at a nice Italian restaurant right in the heart of Shanghai, haha.

29. What's one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I don't think anything. I mean, this was a pretty good year, all in all.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Whatever Pinterest suggested! Haha. No, uhm, fall was a lot of boots over jeans and leg warmers, with basic tops and blazers. I find myself very inspired by the Duchess of Cambridge, Reese Witherspoon, and Zooey Deschanel.

31. What kept you sane?

Lots of hugs and kisses from the boy, as well as plenty of phone dates with friends.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Rupert A. L. Grint and Ryan Gosling.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

I pay attention to politics a lot, so I've kind of gotten to the point where none of it really shocks me. SOPA really irritated me though.

34. Who do you miss the most?

Hmm, I missed my friends Katie and Cyndi the most, because I hardly saw them all year. I also missed my family a lot - some I hadn't seen since 2010! But once I go to California in January, I'll have seen everyone. :)

35. Who was the best new person you met?

The boy, hands down. Technically we met in 2010, but we never held a conversation until we went to Montreal together.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?

Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.

37. What are your new years resolutions for 2012?

I'm not quite sure yet. But my word for 2012 is Explore. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have a wonderful 2012 everyone, and I hope you enjoyed 2011. :)

the one with the 18 thank yous.

2011-12-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

I graduated from college about two weeks ago.

It went by fast, that whole part of my life. I spent 17years in school, 18 if you consider that pre-pre-K thing my mom sent me to.

In that time, I realized that life is made up of fourdistinct groups of people: Your heroes, your teachers, your peers, and yourstudents. Your heroes are people you may never meet, but who affect your lifethrough their lives. Your teachers are people you know, who guide you on yourpath and help you to find yourself. Your peers are those people on the samepath as you, or similar ones at the same time. And your students are those thatyou pass your knowledge on to, that you become a teacher for.

We are all all of these roles. We are each someone’s hero,someone’s teacher, someone’s peer, and someone’s student, even if we don’t knowit. Through those roles, we pour into one another, giving a little bit ofourselves and taking a little bit of everyone else in order to become who weall are. And in recognition of those roles and the beautiful life inherentwithin them, here are 18 thank yous to my heroes, my teachers, my peers, and mystudents, many of which are quite frankly beyond overdue.

My mom, for theway she dances when she’s excited, for teaching me that the American dream isstill available to those who work for it, and for starting my love affair with travel and beinganywhere but here. My dad, forshowing me that the strongest person in the room isn’t always the loudest, foralways being supportive of my goals, and for reminding me that to achieve them,I am going to have to work for them. Mygrandma, for giving me the best advice in the sweetest of fashions, forteaching me how to cook, and for instilling in me the belief that good Southernproper manners are still fashionable. My cousin Jackie, for helping me learnto follow my instincts and to be who I am, regardless of what society dictatesfor me.

Sydney, for showingme that true friendship spans all times and all places, and that you don’t haveto see each other every day or even every year to be incredibly close. Cyndi, for agreeing that the two of uscould say anything we ever needed to the other, no holds barred. Katie, for showing me that sistersaren’t always biological, and Katie’sfamily for adopting me in as their fourth child and being almost as involved in mylife as my biological family is. Mike,who for the past year has shown me what real love looks like, has been anunending source of support and hugs, and has often believed in me morethan I believed in myself.

Mrs. Pearson, whoin 7^th grade English class showed me that writing was the thing Iwas really passionate about, and Dr. Greenwald, who just a year ago sat me down to tell me to stop being afraid of my own talent, and to chase after mydreams, because no one was going to. J.K. Rowling,who created a world I was utterly enthralled by, and gave me something to holdin my hands and say, “this, this iswhat I want to do.” Jared Tseng, whosat down with me and taught me how to become a professional photographer, howto follow my art, and is still one of the wedding photographers I’m the mostinspired by.

Dr. Smith, forexceeding my expectations of how much therapy can help and for giving me thetools to take care of myself, to save myself, and to love myself. Every man I ever dated, the douchesand the nice guys, who let me fall in love with them, let me fall out of lovewith them, and helped me figure out not only what I want, but what I deserve inthe man I’ll someday marry. The little kidsI taught to swim, because they showed me that compassion, patience, and alittle silliness can sometimes be more important than outright hard work. All you blog readers, for showing methat community is not limited by geography and that unwavering support can comefrom people whose faces you’ve never seen. Finally, all the bloggers who have confronted their quarter-life crises, andthrough those confrontations have shown me that there is a way to become thebest version of yourself and it’s not always the way society says it should bedone.

So thank you guys. Thank you for helping me on the path tothe Grown Ass Woman I’ve (almost) become, and thank you for doing it in yourown beautiful ways that reflect the heroes, the teachers, the peers, and thestudents that have poured into you and made you all into the fantastic beingsyou’ve become and will continue to evolve into.

All of the hugs and all of the love,

Valorie

The Rupert A. L. Grint Update

2011-12-27T22:56:00.001-06:00

{via.}

I’m sure you guys saw this post, in which I basically justtalked about how awesome Rupert A.L. Grint is and used his name a whole lot.This post was written not just because I really like Rupert A.L. Grint, or justbecause “Hug Rupert A.L. Grint” is on my Life List, but also because using acelebrity’s name eleventy billion times in a post has a funny effect.

Go search “Rupert A.L. Grint” in Google. Really, go for it.I’ll wait.

Are you back?

Did you notice who was the seventh ranked hit for “RupertA.L. Grint” (besides YT videos)? Was that maybe moi?

Hell yes it was. And hell yes I just spoke French. BecauseI’m awesome.

I didn’t hit number 3 or 1, like my inspirations did usingKanye O. West and John C. Mayer. I can’t decide if it’s because Rupert A.L.Grint is just that much more awesome than them and so I had more searches tocompete with (it is), or because I didn’t use his name enough, OR because RupertA. L. Grint has two middle names and people are easily confused by that.

Anyway, this is all to say that I hope that when Rupert A.L. Grint chooses to google search his name (what, you don’t do that?), he findsmy link and clicks on it, sees that “Hug Rupert A.L. Grint” is on my Life List (number 35, just sayin'),and then chooses to fulfill this lifelong dream of mine.

I imagine that it’ll be this big deal meeting – BloggerMeets Rupert A. L. Grint in Lifelong Dream Come True Story! Of course, I’ll beso embarrassed/excited that all I’ll be able to do is stammer and blush.Actually, scratch that. I WILL BE AWESOME. I will be totally witty andhilarious, which will lead to me being wildly famous as I gain recognition formaking the whole cast of Harry Potter laugh. I’ll write a book about meetingRupert A. L. Grint, and how that one blog post I wrote in December of 2011changed my life. It’ll be awesome.

Want to get in on this? I know you do. Who doesn’t want toget famous through name dropping, drawing people to their blog, and meetingtheir favorite famous people?

Here’s how it works: Pick someone kind of famous, someonethat people would search for on Google. Try not to pick someone too famous, like Angelina Jolie, BradPitt, or JK Rowling. Back on your blog, use this person’s full name, middleinitial and all, and repeat it as many times as you can. Go ahead, be obnoxiouswith it. If possible, link to things within your blog. Link back to this blogto show where you got your inspiration. Google SEO settings like it when youlink to other things.

After all that, come back and leave your link here. Leave acomment here. I’ll go back to your blog and leave a comment too. We will winall the analytics and get all the rankings and all the fame!

And if that fails, we’ll at least laugh about it.

Can't wait to see who you guys pick and what you guys come up with!

the one about christmas

2011-12-26T22:43:00.000-06:00

My Christmas was very low-key. We drove to my grandma's house, where she cooked a huge meal (I tried to help) and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins joined us. We have such a big family we have to eat at three tables to accommodate everyone!

We did presents, my cousins loved the ones I gave them (made my heart warm!) and then we played the most vicious and intense game of monopoly maybe ever.

It was a great day. :)

Hope you guys all had a wonderful Christmas. And to my non-Christmas-celebrating friends, I hope you had a wonderful NBA season opening day.

Fill in the Blank Christmas!

2011-12-23T00:33:00.000-06:00

Link up with Lauren at the Little Things We Do to fill in your blanks!

1. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing Christmas music loudly and obnoxiously while passing out delicious holiday treats, like candy cane bark which is the best thing ever, by the way .

2. The thing I love most about Christmas is spending time with my family. Getting ready for the holidays can be stressful, but the time together is so worth it .

3. The holiday season is a time for reflection and goal setting. It's a time for thinking about what you got out of this year and what you want out of next year .

4. My favorite thing to eat at the holidays is peppermint anything, except peppermints. I straight up hate peppermints. But anything flavored with peppermints is the best.

5. I will be spending Christmas with all my family on my dad's side. We all go to Grandma's house and hang out for a few days.

6. Tis better to (give or receive?) give! I mean, everyone loves to receive, obviously. But giving is better, more heartwarming.

7. I'm dreaming of a cold Christmas. It would be nice to have a white Christmas, but I don't think I've ever had a white Christmas ever. It would be nice though.

What are you guys doing for the holidays? Do you travel to see family, or stay home? Share your plans. :)

RUPERT A.L. GRINT, You've Kind Of Been John C. Mayer'd. And Kanye O. West'd.

2011-12-20T12:34:00.000-06:00

Rupert Alexander Lloyd Grint. You guys have heard of Rupert A. L. Grint, right? He became super mega famous after playing a certain Ronald B. Weasley in a certain Harry Potter series. You also might have seen Rupert A. L. Grint in Cherrybomb or Driving Lessons, the latter of which I know to be an awesome movie, the first of which I'm just assuming is an awesome movie because it has Rupert A. L. Grint in it.

Basically, Rupert A. L. Grint is cool, and should move to America. Because in America, lots of people like Rupert A. L. Grint. And Rupert A. L. Grint's awesome red hair.

By now, you have probably noticed that I'm saying Rupert A.L. Grint a lot. See, I read this blog called So Caroline Says, and a little over a year ago she blogged about Kanye O. West after another blogger named Aunt Becky blogged about John C. Mayer and a funny thing happened - Aunt Becky became the third ranked Google link when you google his name. Then, in an even more hilarious twist, Caroline became the actual top hit for Kanye O. West in Google.

Yup. Go Caroline. And Kanye O. West.

But why should John C. Mayer and Kanye O. West get all the attention? Why does it always have to be some Americans getting all the attention? I mean screw that, right, Rupert A. L. Grint? Why can't a nice British actor, like Rupert A. L. Grint, get some attention from the blog community? I know those posts about Kanye O. West and John C. Mayer were talking about what total douchecanoes those guys are, but Rupert A. L. Grint is not a douchecanoe, so this post is mostly going to be about how awesome Rupert A. L. Grint is instead.

So this post is for you, Rupert A. L. Grint! Rupert A.L. Grint, may you always have adorable red hair. To you, Rupert A. L. Grint, who apparently has two middle names and I mean, what the hell is that about, Rupert A. L. Grint? Is that a British thing? Whatever, it's cool. For you, Rupert A. L. Grint, who owns an ice cream truck with REAL ice cream in it, according to Emma C. D. Watson (again with the two middle names?). To you, Rupert A. L. Grint, who sometimes dresses kind of grungy but looks too clean cut for that (sorrynotsorry).

Instead, Rupert A. L. Grint, I will always prefer the photo below, which is black and white so we can't actually appreciate your fantastic red hair, but that's okay. I wish I actually had photo creds for either of these photos, so hey, if you took either of these photos of Rupert A. L. Grint, let me know in the comments and I will give you credit for your photos of Rupert A. L. Grint. And if Rupert A. L. Grint himself is reading this, hi. Tell me who took these photos of you.

Also, Rupert A. L. Grint? It's #35 on my Life List to hug you. And as you're getting to follow your childhood dreams of owning an ice cream truck, I think you can understand that since I went to the premiere of the Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in L.A. when I was 11, I have had a childhood dream of hugging you. So, Rupert A. L. Grint (and Rupert A. L. Grint's publicist that's reading this), let's make this happen. I'm willing to fly to England. Just sayin'.

13 hours left!

2011-12-19T10:12:00.001-06:00

That's right - only 13 hours left to enter that giveaway I wrote about here. If you're wanting for family portraits, a couples/engagement shoot, or just some individual spots, you can win any of those! It's really easy to enter, just go to the original post and do as it says. :) I'll announce the winner tomorrow morning on the VCPblog! Get excited!

It's Closing Time

2011-12-15T13:56:00.000-06:00

Everyone knows that song Closing Time, by Semisonic, right?

This song is what my life feels like these days. And I'm sure that everyone that graduated from high school or college from 1998-2000 said the same thing, but I identify so strongly with this song these days that every time I hear it, it moves me in a way very few songs have before.

Closing time. Open all the doors and let you out into the world.

I'll be honest: As I get ready to graduate from college on Saturday morning, I'm nervous. I'm excited and thrilled, and really proud of myself for actually doing this because I had so many opportunities to not, but I'm also nervous about what comes next. I've always known what the next few years of my life would look like - this is the first time I don't have a plan like that. It's cool and wonderful, and also a lot of pressure. Going out into the world, the Real World, finally.

Closing time. Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl.

I keep thinking about that moment when I walk across the stage and am handed my diploma. What if I trip? I probably will because, well it's me and I fall a lot. And I tripped at my high school graduation, so I might as well trip again. I know no one pays attention at graduations, but my family and a lot of friends will be there watching that moment directly in the spotlight.

Closing time. One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer.

My friends and I have been doing a lot of weekly happy hours this semester. I'm going to miss that as we all graduate and move elsewhere.

Closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I never quite considered College Station 'home,' but I will be sad to leave it. It's true that I can't stay here - this city was good for college, but there's nothing here for me career-wise. It's too small, and I'm going to be working in big cities. Capitals.

Closing time. Time for you to go out to the places you will be from.

I've kept this a secret for a while now, but I suppose now is as good a time to announce this as ever: Soon, I'll be saying that I'm from Washington D.C. I'm spending the holidays with my family then I'll be D.C.-bound after the first of the year. I'm doing an internship up there for the semester then... well, who knows? I've loved D.C. for a long time, so I'm excited for that city to become a place that I call home someday.

So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits. I hope you have found a friend.

I've found friends in college. Some of them are moving to D.C. with me, which I'm excited about, and that makes the move a little easier. I've stayed friends with the most important people from high school. And as cheesy as this sounds, I've made a friend of myself. The most important thing I've learned in college is to be faithful to myself, true to my needs and desires, and to love myself. It was a tough lesson, but the most important one the last three and a half years could have ever taught me.

I know who I want to take me home.

But that's for another post.

Take me home.

Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

A Very Exciting Photo Session Giveaway!

2011-12-13T13:56:00.000-06:00

As you guys know, I've started my own photography website, Valorie Clark Photography. A lot of you guys were really supportive of that, so I wanted to make sure I let you know: over there, I'm giving away a free photo session!

What will this session include?

+Two hours and two locations

+An outfit change

+You and up to three people. So family portraits, couple’s photos, an individual session – anything is possible!

+Any props you want! You can even include a pet or two.

+A CD with the photos after the session

And of course, if you don't want this session for yourself, you CAN gift it! Everyone deserves to have beautiful portraits of themselves and their families and having them be a thoughtful gift from someone else makes it so much better! Getting excited yet? Well here's how you could possible win this:

+This time, this offer is only open to people in Texas and the Washington D.C. area. (Yes, two very different places. I’m moving to D.C. in January!) (Sorry, everyone else! I’ll be able to travel more in the future!)

+Be a follower of Valorie Clark Photography and leave a comment there saying you are for one entry.

+Follow VCP on twitter and leave a comment on the giveaway post saying you do for one entry.

+Tweet about this giveaway and leave a comment at the giveaway post linking to that tweet for one entry.

+Like VCP on facebook and leave a comment on the giveaway post for one entry.

+Blog about this giveaway on your blog and leave a comment letting me know you did for one entry.

Entries will be accepted until Monday January 19th at 11:59 pm CST. So hurry and get your entries in!

(To reduce confusion, I've closed comments on this post. You have to comment on the VCP post to be eligible!)

Announcing: The Life List

2011-12-12T11:08:00.000-06:00

As I draw my 101 in 1001 list to a close (5 months to go, but whatever), one of the things on there (#95) was to create my Life List. I've been working on it for a while now, and I'll continue to work on it as time goes on, but here's the start of it. The list of things that if I don't get done in my life time, I'll probably cry about. Things I can look back on whenever I want and review to make sure I'm working toward getting them done. Life Goals, we all have them.

Some of them I'm almost done with (namely, number 1), some of them are way off in the distance. All of them are crazy important to me and make my heart beat faster whenever I think of them.

1. Make it to every continent (North America, Europe, South America, Africa, Asia)

2. Get a nerdy tattoo

3. Get a Thai massage

4. Get married

5. Spend one year living abroad

6. Give ten gifts for no reason, all in the samemonth

7. Get matching tattoos with someone

8. Do sun salutations in New York’s Time Square onthe summer solstice

9. Own a house

10. Takea photo with a celebrity

11. Kissunder the Eiffel Tower

12. Bean extra in a movie or TV show

13. Publisha novel, novella, or collection of humor essays

14. Have/adopta child

15. Sponsora child in a developing country

16. Leavean outrageously huge tip for a breakfast waitress

17. Attendat least one event in the Olympics

18. Havedrinks in an ice bar

19. Stayin a Hard Rock Hotel

20. Goto Bora Bora and stay in a hut on the water

21. Travelalone

22. Bepart of Improv Everywhere’s No Pants Subway Rides

23. Tourthe White House

24. Seethe Aurora Borealis

25. Goto the Galapagos Islands

26. Showup at the airport with just a bag and my passport. Take the first availableflight.

27. Figureout my personal manifesto, then live it.

28. Bea photographer for a wedding (not a family member).

29. Worka bizarre job for at least a month

30. Teacha class or seminar

31. Watchall of one year’s Oscar nominated movies

32. Throwan extremely fancy party

33. Attenda masquerade ball

34. MeetJ.K. Rowling

35. HugRupert A. L. Grint

36. Bungeejump

37. Email/writea letter to five people who I’ve never met but influenced my life

38. Decoratean entire room in black and white with one red centerpiece

39. Moveout of Texas.

40. Contributeto setting/breaking a world record

41. Workfor a non-profit

42. Goto a major music festival

43. Goto a couple’s spa retreat

44. Seethe cities where my parents were born

45. Driveacross the country

46. Buyboth of my parents something they want but would never buy for themselves

47. Movemy blog to it’s own domain

48. Createa holiday tradition with a group of friends

49. Interview/photographsomeone famous

50. Selleverything I own except the things I would save in a fire and two weeks’ worthof clothes

51. Ridehorses on a beach

52. Owna vintage typewriter.

53. Joina book club

54. Becomeconversational in French

55. Owna photography business

56. Goon a cruise to Alaska

57. Seea photo I took in National Geographic

58. Spenda day silent

59. Getinto a yoga routine – twice a week for a year

60. Bea vegetarian for a month

61. Buya fixer-upper. Make it awesome.

62. Raiseover $1000 for a charity or non-profit

63. Hikea mountain

64. AtStarbucks, pay for my coffee and the one behind me

65. Takea recreational culinary class

66. Peta giraffe.

67. Attendone of my high school reunions

68. Attenda blogger meet up.

69. Learnto scuba dive.

70. Swimwith sharks or stingrays.

71. Spenda day museum-hopping.

72. Stopwhining; Hire a trainer and get back into shape.

73. Becomeconversational in four languages (English,Mandarin)

74. Goon a wine and cheese tour of France.

75. Takea photo in every country in the world.

76. Throwa drink in someone’s face.

77. Swimwith a whale and a dolphin.

78. Haveblack and white boudoir style photos taken of me.

79. Achievereally cute calligraphy/handwriting

Are any of these on your Life List? Do you have other things on your Life List? Share!

48. Find a New Hobby.

2011-12-08T12:12:00.000-06:00

I have. Finally It's called: Pinteresting.

Since I started pinteresting, I have:

Made wine bottles into vases.

Made an empty frame into a jewelry holder.

Made coasters out of tiles.

Been crazy-inspired photography wise.

Made my own bracelets and headbands.

Cultivated a sense of style I didn't have before.

Made my own holiday decorations.

Cooked candy cane bark. And Jamie Oliver's crispy garlic chicken. AND frozen chocolate peanut butter banana bites. (All super easy.)

Started wrapping my presents like this.

And decided that I need to get a phone that can take a non-blurry photo. :( Haha.

Want to see the other things on my 101 in 1001 list? WHAT UP.

An Open Letter About Why I Sometimes Really Hate the News

2011-12-04T19:06:00.001-06:00

{Source is each individual stations' website.}

I've had a cold for the past day or two, and colds make me fussy. We're talking teething toddler levels of fussy. And when I'm teething toddler levels of fussy, I hate everything with a passion and am very vocal about it. Especially the news.

And, I mean, here's the thing about the news, any news. They're all over-dramatic in ways that ARE NOT FUN. I mostly watch CNN and MSNBC (and the Daily Show and the Colbert Report), if that tells you anything, but I'm not here to bash them, or FOX, or ABC, or the Borowitz Report specifically. Mostly because the Borowitz Report is awesome and hilarious. But also because everyone is biased in their own ways, whatever. Really, I'm just here to tell all of them to get their acts together.

Dear Every News Outlet Ever,

Please stop saying that this has been the hardest winter for the US in a long time. It's not even winter yet. Check your calendar. WINTER STARTS ON DECEMBER 21ST, GUYS. Also, if you're trying to make people sit up and pay attention, saying this is the hardest fall ever is not only correct, but also more attention-grabbing because then people are like "WHOA, it's only fall and the northeast has already had a bajillion inches of snowfall?! Holy crap!"

Stop talking about how anything increases "exponentially" when you obviously have no idea what "exponentially" means. Let me help you out:

Exponentially means something is increasing or decreasing at a rate of x multiplied by itself a designated number of times. i.e. If the temperature is rising exponentially, that means that if it started at 80 degrees, it would immediately rise to 6,400 degrees (80 times 80), then to 512,000 degrees (80 times 80 times 80)... Do you see where this is going?
If you're going to say that the temperature in your car rises during the summer from 80 to 120 degrees Fahrenheit, a better word would be dramatically and/or quickly.

For that matter, please just learn the definition of any word you're going to say on television. This is more so you stop looking like a dumb ass than for my benefit. Promise.

Seriously stop employing scare tactic language. I get that this economic downturn sucks, but you guys repeating daily that we're probably all going to go broke and die alone in a box if Europe's economy isn't saved isn't helping. It makes people nervous and start keeping their money under their mattress, which makes the situation worse and makes them look stupid. Also, if an economist scolds you on live national television for calling the current economic climate worse than 2008, maybe listen. He probably knows what he's talking about. I'm looking at you, Christine Romans of CNN.

For the love of God, cover real news. Yes, water-skiing squirrels are real cute, but let YouTube and the rest of the internet cover that. Also, if your prime time lead story is EVER AGAIN about the Kardashians or Jersey Shore, I'm never going to watch again (and I hope the rest of the internet doesn't either). Leave those guys to E! - that's their job. You do YOUR job and cover things that actually matter to our lives.

Fill in the _____ Friday & Friday Internet Favorites

2011-12-02T11:04:00.001-06:00

Head on over to Lauren's blog to join in!

1. The holiday season is a time for family, friends, love, and being grateful for everything you have .

2. Snow makes me so happy, but nervous! I love playing in the snow, but driving in it makes me anxious in a way that only impending death can .

3. The best comfort food to eat when it's cold out is hot chocolate, baked potato soup, or peppermint white chocolate mochas from starbucks. .

4. Winter is the best time for cuddling under blankets and playing outside .

5. I can hardly wait for going to a Christmas tree farm with my boy today or Sunday :) .

6. When it comes to holiday gifts I prefer to give than receive, though let's be honest - everyone likes to receive. This year I'm making all the gifts I give, so we'll see how that goes! .

7. If I were to rate my excitement about the holiday season on a scale from 1-10, I would say I am at about a 6-7! It stresses me out a little (what if everyone hates the gifts I make them?!), but I'm looking forward to spending time with family. Plus, this will be my first holiday season as a graduate .

Friday Favorites:

Does marijuana legalization lead to fewer traffic fatalities?
Texts from Bennett. Literally, this is my favorite tumblr ever. It's only two pages long so far, but I could still read it five times a day and laugh every time.
The most beautiful ad for marriage equality I've ever seen. I cried a little. Thanks, Australia.
The photography page on Pinterest.
A lesbian couple raised a baby and this is what they got. Moving.
This belt. Oh my is it precious. I bought it from H&M last weekend, and it was the best decision!

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. What are your plans?

thanksgiving

2011-11-23T17:00:00.000-06:00

{via.}

This year, I'm thankful for:

Surviving the terrible wreck I was in yesterday on my way home.

(Don't know what I'm talking about?)

Friends that I can call and will drop everything to come help me.

A wonderful family that I get to go see in just a few short hours.

Knowing that soon I'll be a college graduate and have my whole life ahead of me.

And a supportive boyfriend to see me through all of it.

What are you thankful for this year?

Fill in the ____ & Friday Internet Favorites

2011-11-18T13:16:00.001-06:00

Yay! Head over to Lauren's blog to join in on all the fill in the blank fun. :)

1. A nervous habit I have is chewing on my lips and blushing. And as soon as I realize I'm blushing, I blush harder. It's awful .

2. Something that makes me sad is writing about how children who get trafficked are 71% more likely to commit suicide than the general population... Thanks, thesis .

3. Today I am thankful for no classes, free pizza for dinner tonight, and that only two more days of class stand between me and time with family .

4. My favorite room in my house is my bathroom. I know that's weird, but it's decorated with a very French/Paris theme, and that makes my heart so happy .

5. I can't stand people who don't "believe in" mental health disorders (what?), rape jokes, people who have made it to college but don't know the difference between your/you're and or there/their/they're, and people who don't use Oxford commas .

6. If I had an extra $100 to spend on whatever I wanted today I would probably spend it on something for the boyfriend. He's been a wonderful person to have around for the last few weeks as I've gone crazy writing my thesis, and he deserves some reward .

7. The last person I hung out with was Amy. We went out for drinks last night and then I joined a few others friends and the boyfriend for dinner and more drinks .

My favorite thing on the internet right now is Pinterest. Frankly, it's kind of the only thing that helps me keep my sanity throughout my thesis. If you're on Pinterest, follow me and leave a comment - I'd love to see what you're pinning!

My thesis is killing me. This is the end. GOODBYE FOREVER.

2011-11-15T15:41:00.000-06:00

{This is a photo I took in China. That's about all it has to do with anything I wrote about in this post, except they kind of look like they're screaming and amen to that. Also, please don't steal it, unless your thing has to do with screaming at things in Chinese, except please still give me credit and tell me about it because that would be hilarious. Also, longest credit line ever. Also, also.}

In case you missed it (how? it's basically all I tweet, blog, and talk about these days), I'm writing a very in-depth thesis as an undergrad AND IT SUCKS.

Picking a topic WHAT?
Original research WHAT?
Making up policies that might actually work WHAT?

My thesis is about human trafficking. More specifically, my thesis argues that domestic [see: not international] trafficking of women and children for the commercial sex trade in China is a drain on China's biggest resource (spoiler: it's people), because it takes them out of the labor force, compromises their health, causes emotional and physical scars that last a lifetime without treatment, and is generally harmful to China's legitimate economy and the health of the overall population. I'm trying to argue that without specific economic and social policy changes, this problem will worsen and lead to bigger problems for China down the road, i.e. an HIV/AIDS epidemic and the slowing down of economic growth (and anger/resentment from a growing segment of its population that China is doing pretty much nothing to help right now, which will be another catalyst to the already swirling growth of frustration with the Communist Party).

Whew.

Here's where this becomes a problem for me: That is depressing as hell topic.

Okay, I get that that sounds petty. These women are being held as sex slaves and I'm concerned that every time I read their stories while sitting in Starbucks I want to cry and that's embarrassing?

Fine, I'm going to Hell.

But still. It's depressing, and devoting my entire semester to this research is making me want to pull my hair out. Because China is all 'Psssh, human trafficking? Forced into sexual service? Nope, those ladies be PROSTITUTES! Jail tiiiiime!" and I'm all "Noooo! Stoooop iiiiit! They need psychological treatment, not to work in a labor camp!"

And also? I have to write ~20% of this thesis in Chinese. I mean, let's talk about how Chinese is a crazy hard language and I don't know it (even after studying it for three years). So I'm spending about 50% of the time I work on this thesis just researching how to perfectly translate everything because, and I'm not exaggerating, the syllable xi can mean about 80 different things. How can you have one word that can alternately mean 'footpath,' 'west,' 'happiness,' and 'rhinoceros?' THOSE AREN'T EVEN KIND OF RELATED.

HOW DO YOU EVER LEARN A LANGUAGE WHEN ONE SINGLE SOUND CAN MEAN 80 DIFFERENT WORDS WHICH OFTEN HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER? I JUST I CAN'T WHAT WHY *BRAIN EXPLOSION*

So basically, this is the end. I'm dying from crazy brain explosions in Chinese, or something. GOODBYE FOREVER.

Friday Internet Favorites and Fill in the ______.

2011-11-11T00:46:00.000-06:00

I love Fill in the Blank Friday! Head over to Lauren's blog and join in!

1. My favorite new blog of the moment is Young People in Love .

2. Something I am thankful for is Thanksgiving being right around the corner .

3. Something that made me laugh this week was see my Friday Favorites next :) .

4. An item that is currently on my wish list is everything on my Dress Me Up pinterest board .

5. I am excited about Rock the Republic this weekend .

6. If I were a color I would be green, it's happy without being obnoxious .

7. My favorite way to spend a chilly fall day is by bundled up in a scarf, big jacket, and a blanket if I'm at home .

I know last time I said I wasn't sure I would do this every time, but I kind of like the idea of Friday Favorites. What do you guys think?

Here are some of my favorite things on the internet these days:

Obama "Made in the USA" mugs. Can't get rid of the birthers conspiracy? Then roll with it. Or, drink coffee out of it. Whichever.
The 50 Most Ridiculous Facebook Status Fails. It blows my mind that people actually say some of these things. See also, makes me the happiest ever.

Joseph-Gordon Levitt covers R. Kelly's Ignition: Remix.

Actually, just any time Joseph Gordon-Levitt covers a song. MARRY ME, MAN.
A close runner-up to that video is this one of a really random Chinese opera covering Lady Gaga's Bad Romance.

And that's it! Everyone have a great weekend. I'll be at my second Rock the Republic festival with Maroon Weely, taking pictures of musicians, poets, and comedians and generally wondering why I want to move out of College Station.

remember that one time I was mess? here's why, and how I'm okay now.

2011-11-09T16:24:00.000-06:00

{via.}

About this time last year, I posted a few emails my friend and I exchanged. Partly because she is one of the best writers ever and I couldn't have summed up what she said any better than how she said it, but also because I was too tired, too sad, too heartbroken to write something down myself. I felt dried out, and empty, and utterly just shattered.

The pieces of my life were sitting there on the ground, and I didn't have the energy to pick them up.

And so I let my friends pick them up for me. Cyndi gave me energy to breathe deeply again and get out of bed. That was probably the biggest thing I needed. The sweet comments left on that aforementioned post helped me clear my mind and see that I would be okay again, someday. Another friend reminded me how to laugh, one reminded me to focus on myself and my hobbies. Eventually, I could write a post about taking a mental health day, and in December I was able joke a little and make a list of nouns I refused to put up with from men in the future (which is still true). Eventually I was able to write one of my favorite posts ever, love, loss, hope, repeat. I was fortunate and the next guy I started dating (and am still dating) passes the nouns test, and is also just a generally good person.

So I guess what I'm saying is that even though that was a painful time, I'm glad I went through it. I'm different because of it, but in a good way. I've stopped dating assholes, and I've learned to take my time when falling in love. And I've learned that my pride/personality/life is mine and even when some guy cheats on me but actually doesn't because he's only pretending he's single but actually has a girlfriend that is studying abroad and you catch them together when she comes back to Texas during her European fall break to surprise him (deep breath) that doesn't change who I am. It doesn't make me less of a bad person that I fell in love with him, even if maybe it does show that I didn't always have the greatest taste in men.

It hurt my pride, but at the end of the day, I'm okay. Hell, I'm better than okay. And so this is a thank you to those that stood by me, to those that encouraged me, and to those that turn their nose up at him when they see him at the only supermarket in town.

these are the verbs right now.

2011-10-30T13:36:00.000-05:00

Applying for jobs and internships in Washington D.C. Blowing my nose because it's fall and that means my body hates me. Writing and researching for my thesis. Dressing up for Halloween because it's the best holiday ever. Organizing events for TAMU Model UN and Brazos Valley Social Media Club. Researching for another paper I have due. Visiting pumpkin patches with my boyfriend. Writing and mailing graduation announcements to family and friends because apparently I graduate from college in less than two months. Exercising so I can scratch #25 off my list. Photographing friends for their graduation announcements.

If it seems like I'm busy, it's definitely because I am. Unfortunately, it also means that even though I have SO MUCH I want to blog about, it means that I can't because I just DON'T HAVE TIME. :c

This makes me sad, guys.

I'm going to try to make time for my blog. Really. But if I can't, here's how you can keep up with me:

I'll be definitely be tweeting through this because if I said everything I had to to my boyfriend, his head would explode. You can follow me here (and incidentally if you want to see if his head DOES explode from dealing with the level of crazy I'll be for the next month, you can follow him here).

If you want to keep up with my photography stuff, you can do that here. Be sure to subscribe! :)

Should you want to contact me directly, that's best done through twitter, or by email: valorielovely {at} gmail {dot} com

fill in the _____ friday!

2011-10-28T15:14:00.004-05:00

go link up with lauren over at the little things we do to see more answers!

1. When I was a kid I wanted to be a teacher, or maybe a museum curator, or maybe a writer, or maybe a dinosaur when I grew up. Really, I had no idea.

2. As an adult, my dream job would be a full-time photographer for National Geographic .

3. W hen I was younger I wanted to be just like Reese Witherspoon. This is still pretty true .

4. The childhood Halloween costume that I remember most was when I was something blue. I don't remember what my costume was *supposed* to be, but I remember everyone saying I made such a cute smurf and being really sad because that wasn't what I had dressed up as. :( .

5. My favorite childhood toy was dinosaurs! Yes, really.

6. The time I got into the biggest amount of trouble when I was a kid was when I almost wrecked my grandfather's golf cart (almost seriously injuring two of my cousins in the process... we were all fine, OKAY?).

7. I get daily inspiration from bloggers, Pinterest, people on the street, my friends .

Also, I don't know if this is something I'll do ever again, but for today I wanted to post my favorite things from the internet this week so you could all enjoy them too.

Octopi are sentient, brilliant, and this article might change your view on consciousness.
This photo makes me unbelievably happy every time.
Washington, D.C. is the best city ever. Or at least the prettiest.
Halloween Light Show to Party Rock Anthem? Uhm, YES PLEASE.

What were your favorite internet things this week? Share in the comments!

An Average Day in the Life of an American Living in China

2011-10-25T18:23:00.002-05:00

Apparently, I wrote this post sometime in late June and just never posted it. I figure that's silly, and that I should totally post it now even though it's been months since China because I haven't posted enough about China yet. And that really, is just silly.

I may have been feeling a little homesick and bitter when I wrote this, but really, this is pretty much what every day was like in China. Really.

An Average Day in the Life of an American Living in China

Wake up to something other than your alarm clock. Yesterday,chickens were involved, even though you live in the city. Today, it’ll probablybe construction workers. Tomorrow, honking car horns on a road which wasn’tthere three days ago.

Get online. Wonder why the internet is so obnoxiously slowin such an international city.

Take a shower while you wait for gmail to load.

Try reading CNN online. It was still banned yesterday butmaybe today… Nope. Still banned.

Look in the mirror. Consider doing your make up. Don’tbecause you know you’ll sweat it off in about ten minutes.

Check gmail again. Wonder why you did this because it’lltake a year. Feel committed to checking it now because you feel the need to beable to respond to emails within moments of getting them.

Eventually decide to go wherever you need to be – class,work, a tourist site, whatever.

Get on the subway. Wonder what the people around you aretalking about.

Be stared at. Say hello to someone in Chinese. Get stared atharder.

Get Starbucks, even though the price is 30% higher than itis in the states. Refuse to care because it’s the only place you can getcoffee.

Walk by a fake Apple store. Be amused by the disco balls/coloredposters/pink lettering/whatever that would never exist in a real Applestore. Wonder how long it’ll beuntil this Apple store is busted. Wish you’d thought to document all the fakeApple stores you knew about in China before that other person did and gotwildly famous.

Stop inside to check gmail again. Hope the internet will befaster in the “Apple” store. Nope.

Try reading the Atlantic for news. Nope, it’s banned now. Sois Google, for today at least.

When you leave, walk by someone who takes a photo of you forno apparent reason. Remember that it really is because you’re white and somepeople have never seen a white person before.

Feel self-conscious.

Get stared at by every Chinese person you walk by.

Feel wildlyself-conscious.

Wander around for a while trying to figure out what you're looking at.

Be drenched in sweat an hour after you left your placebecause it is just that killing puppies hot.

Take a few photos of something. Notice someone simultaneously taking photos of you.

Wonder what everyone around you is talking about. Check tomake sure that your pants aren’t unzipped/shirt isn’t ripped or stained/hairisn’t a mess.

Feel seriously ridiculously wildly self-conscious.

Run into another American/Westerner. This will go one ofthree ways:

1) You will both be thrilled tofind someone who speaks English well and will end up chatting for an hour.

2) You will share a smug smile anda nod as if you’re saying, “I know, I can function on my own in China too. Justlook at me without my map.”

3) The other American/Westernerwill ignore you entirely because Americans/Westerners suffer from this weirdneed to be the only white person in a crowd and thus hate it when you infringe on this, Imeangodforbid.

This mostly goes the third way. Decide you hateAmericans/Westerners a little more every time.

Scratch that. We’re uppity but dammit you can’t wait to gohome and have a burger.

Go back to your apartment. Shower.

Check gmail again. Think you should have opened it beforeyou got in the shower.

Consider doing your makeup again. Laugh at your reflectionin the mirror instead.

Meet up with a few friends. Try to ignore how much morepeople stare now that some Westerners are moving in a pack.

Pose for a few photos taken by strangers.

Eat Chinese food. Here, it’s not just food – it’s Shanghainesefood, or Taiwanese food, or Hunan food, or omfgsospicywhatthehellfood. Genuinely enjoy it. Seriously lookforward to a good burger.

Wonder what people around you are talking about.

Get stared at while you eat.

Wonder what the people staring at you are talking about.

Feel the absolutely most wildly self-conscious you've ever felt in your whole entire life.

Go home. Check gmail.

Consider taking another shower. Don’t, because you’ll justget sweaty at night.

Go to bed.

the new website, crazy excitement, and gratitude (!!!)

2011-10-19T13:58:00.000-05:00

There's a little something I've been working on for the past few weeks.

Well really, there's a big something I've been working on.

I'm quite excited about it, and I hope you can get excited about it too.

I decided recently, as in the past few months, that I didn't think I could live my life without photos. I want to do other work still, stuff like nonprofit work, and maybe law eventually. But on the side, I always always want photography to be there.

And I want it to grow. I want to start doing wedding photography, and portrait photography, and hopefully even travel photography some day.

Maybe someday this will be the way I actually make a living. For now, it's not. But that's okay.

If you thought that was the announcement... well, it's part of it. Here's the real announcement.

This is a real website now, and that makes me wildly excited: valorieclarkphotography. Oh heck yes.

Please, check it out. Subscribe. Like me on facebook. Leave me a note about compliments or suggestions.

I love you guys.

Scenes from the Great Wall

2011-10-16T20:31:00.000-05:00

Recently, I left my apartment in Beijing at about 11 am to pick up my ticket to Badaling, the closest train station to one of the Great Wall entrances (the closest to Beijing and therefore one of the most touristy). Since I had some extra time to kill, I had some lunch with my friend Rachel (best noodles ever, picked up from a little roadside noodlestand for less than a dollar for two bowls) before getting on the 2 pm train. I should add here that I did the whole trip alone, and that I'm also very glad I did.

The train ride to Badaling was nice, very beautiful- as soon as you leave the city, you're surrounded by mountains and greenery and its so calming, especially after weeks of city life. The first time I saw the wall was from the train, and, I immediately started smiling pretty wide - I just couldn't help it. I've heard about The Great Wall so often since I was a kid that it was pretty intense to finally be within its presence. It looked so beautiful - everything around it was so green and the way the sunlight struck it made it shine like gold.

Once I got to Badaling, I started the hike up to the Great Wall from the train station. Its high in the mountains, so the hike starts practically the second you get out of the train. The air is much cleaner up there, but of course its so thin its really not that different from breathing in Beijing. Unfortunately, it was about 4 by the time we got there and my train back to Beijing left at 6:30, so I didn't actually have that much time up there.

The place itself is amazing. It kind of sucks at first because there's just so many people, but once I hiked about twenty minutes the crowd really thinned out. Unfortunately, Badaling is a restored section of the wall (the last unrestored section was put under construction a few months ago), so it wasn't completely "authentic" but the restoration stuck pretty close to original specifications from what I can tell. At least, sections of the wall are so incredibly steep that I had to pause to rest as I scaled them. I climbed pretty far along and made it to the top of Hero's Peak, which is either the tallest point on the wall or just near Badaling, I'm not entirely sure. Judging by how rough the hike was though, I'd totally believe the first one.

Before I got to Hero's Peak, I met two people here, a guy who moved here 19 years ago after falling in love with China during a study abroad trip, and his uncle who teaches at Purdue. They were the first people on this trip that recognized my Texas Aggie tshirt (other than my friend Dan, who has a longhorn father).

After I got to the top of Hero's Peak, I turned off my camera and sat down in some shade, trying to meditate on the fact that I was there, that I was at *The Great Wall.* I tried to memorize the way the breeze felt and the cool, solid stones behind my back; I wanted to focus on the living part of it. Especially now that I'm so focused on making it as a photographer, I so often feel like I get stuck behind the camera, seeing everything but not really witnessing it, and I wanted to be a witness to that moment. It was one of the rare ones where there was no one within sight or hearing distance and I almost felt like I had the wall all to myself. I leaned back and stared at the sky, the first time I'd seen it truly blue in over a month, and with my eyes I followed the snaking progression the wall made in either direction from the point where I sat, the tan stone battlements and watch towers one with the mountains and nature they curled through.

The whole scene had a pure earthly quality about it. I almost wrote "otherwordly," but that's entirely false -it was perfectly earthly. The whole place seemed like it belonged, like it had sprung up straight from nature, like it had always been there and always would be. The place was stoic - it had seen attacks waged, battles won. It had been forgotten, allowed to fall apart, and rediscovered, rebuilt. Over and over again it has been rebuilt by men, and still it is something beyond man, something ancient, wise, that can never be reckoned with. It will watch the sun set tonight, the sun rise tomorrow, and the same will go on beyond us, beyond our children, and beyond their children.

Of course, the moment there couldn't last forever. More hikers arrived, and I realized I had reached the time when I needed to turn back in order to make the last train back to Beijing.

I found my way off the wall and hiked in the actual woods to the side of the wall on my way back down, which I definitely recommend trying if/when you make it out there. There are sections of the wall, especially in Badaling, where people are allowedto sell things, but if you hike in the woods you can escape them. That walk gave me views of the wall I would have never seen otherwise, and it was very peaceful (not to mention cool in the shade). The hike down was also a little easier, which my body seriously appreciated.

After such a nice time hiking (though I'll admit it was insanely hot, and it definitely showed me that I'm not in the best shape of my life), I was reluctant to return to the city. In fact, when I noticed I could actually see the brown cloud of pollution hanging over the city from pretty far out, I momentarily wanted to turn back. But I knew a bed and a job and friends awaited me, so I didn't.

On the train ride back I was already thinking I'd like to go back to the Great Wall someday. If its ever done being under construction and the Chinese government allows it, I think it would be cool to hike the whole length of it, and to sleep on it at night. Apparently you can get special dispensations to camp there overnight now, so I assume it wouldn't be terribly hard to wrangle a week or two long hike (I have no idea how long a hike of that length would take).

[This text was originally posted back in July, here. The photos are all new additions and, frankly, mine. Stealing is rude.]

The Simply, Valorie Way to Make Banana Banana Bread

2011-10-13T21:37:00.001-05:00

A lot of people (read: women who cook) post recipes to their blogs. I always kind of figured that I'm a little too broke-ridiculous-college-student-y and not nearly grown-ass-woman-housewife-cook-y to do that, but then a few days ago I had an experience that made me realize that, nope, I am not too ridiculous to talk about something I cooked because, let's face it, no one all calmly and pretentiously thinks 'oh, yes, let me just boil this salt now, mmm...' while cooking.

Instead, this is what we all really think while trying a new recipe: eff eff eff, am I doing this right?

And so here is a realistic recipe that will help you make a delicious early fall treat the way you actually think about making one:

How to make Banana Banana Bread the Simply, Valorie way:

You will need:
4 ripe bananas, mashed
1/2 cup of butter, softened
3/4 cup of brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups of flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
A lot of panic
A lot more sass

Wake up in the morning - realize that those bananas you bought and told yourself you were going to eat for breakfast every morning to be healthy haven't been eaten yet. Instead, the skin is starting to turn almost black. The more it turns black, the less you want to eat them. Wonder what the hell to do.

See the recipe for banana banana bread pop up on pinterest. Think 'oh hell yes.'

Run to the grocery story. Get epically lost trying to find cinnamon. Maybe wonder if it's a bad sign that you're getting lost in a grocery store where there are signs EVERYWHERE. Start wondering if maybe this is a metaphor for your life, but then stop because -- Do you really want to pull at that thread?

Sing out loud and to yourself. Refuse to notice that you're not even wearing headphones and the song you're singing is not the one being played over the speakers in HEB.

Go home and clean your kitchen because you want it to 'nice and sparkly' before you mess it up by spilling flour an hour later.

Look for a big bowl. Realize none are clean and you have to do the dishes.

Finally, 12 hours after you decided that the bananas were a problem, mix together the butter and sugar in aforementioned big bowl until 'creamy'. Realize that 'softened' butter is not butter that has been sitting in the original packaging on the counter for five minutes. Microwave it. Burn it. Eff, eff, eff. Try again. Get it right this time.

Add everything else except the flour and mix well. Think that maybe since the recipe described the bananas as 'mashed' it would have been easier if you mashed them first. Get crap all over you trying to simultaneously mash the bananas and stir everything else together.

Once that's done, stare at the mixture. Wonder why it looks so runny. Remember that you forgot the flour. Reach for it, and somehow spill most of it on the flour. Stare at it for a second, feeling defeated.

Salvage two cups of flour from what's left in the bag. Stir that in. Pour it in a greased loaf pan, and stick in an oven heated to 350. The recipe calls for 55-60 minutes, but notice that yours is definitely done 30 minutes later. Be confused by huge misrepresentation of how long it takes to cook. Be rull glad you checked on it.

Leave on a wire rack and let cool. Except don't because you're an effing college student and don't know what a wire rack is, much less own one. Think that it sounds painful somehow though.

Enjoy!

Or don't, because as you mentioned on pinterest, you don't even like banana bread, you're just making this for your boyfriend who does. And he's not even going to clean your kitchen for you. Rude.

The Girl Effect: Donations

2011-10-10T19:08:00.004-05:00

Last Thursday, I wrote about The Girl Effect and my story. It's a deeply personal story about my family, and if you haven't read it yet, you should read that before reading this.

This is important to me guys. The Girl Effect is related to what I'm writing my senior thesis about, it's what I want a career in after I graduate, and it's the life I'm living. I don't want to be one of those people who talks about causes and but doesn't actually support them, so here's what I'm doing:

I've already donated money to the Girl Effect. I donated some time and a blog post, along with hundreds of other bloggers. Now, I want to do one more thing. I want to get you guys involved.

For every person that leaves a comment here saying they donated any amount of money, I'll donate $1 to the Girl Effect.

(I know that's not *a lot*. I'm a barely-employed college student, guys.)

For every person that tweets about this blog post (and lets me know in a comment that they did), I'll donate another dollar. (A good tweet might read like: "Help me help @SimplyValorie and @girleffect end poverty one girl at a time. http://simplyvalorie.blogspot.com/2011/10/girl-effect-donations.html" But, you know, be creative.)

If you need more convincing, watch these videos. Frankly, I dare you to watch them and NOT be inspired.

If you don't have money to spare, that's cool. But help me get the word out. Tell your friends about it. Tweet about it. Maybe blog about it yourself - hundreds of bloggers are between October 4-11. Here are all the details. The blogging community is strong and I've seen us pull off some pretty kickass things. Let's pull off one more. Let's help out our girls around the world.

fill in the _____ friday

2011-10-07T17:33:00.000-05:00

{Head over to Lauren's blog to share your filled in blanks!}

1. Something popular that I can't stand/just don't "get" is Glee. I can't stand this show. I'm sorry, internet.

2. Something unpopular that I secretly love is ice skating. I know I'm not seven years old anymore, nor am I Michelle Kwan (sp?) but I don't care. Ice skating is AWESOME.

3. When I've had a bad day I take a nap or I clean. Everything seems nicer with a clean house.

4. I'd prefer brunch to lunch any day.

5. Something that makes me nervous is graduation. Stop it, calendar. Stop getting closer to December.

6. Something worth fighting for is yourself. Don't let other people tell you who to be or how to feel. Period, end of story.

7. When people think of me, I hope they think "she's a little crazy, but she's a sweet girl and is always real."

Who runs the world? GIRLS.

2011-10-06T15:00:00.001-05:00

Today, I want to tell you a very personal story, one I haven't shared with many but that I've told myself a lot before falling asleep at night. It's not a story just about me - it's about me, my mother, and her mother before her, and a million other women like them.

I grew up the daughter of a poor mother. Well, she wasn't poor by the time I was born. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My mom was born in El Salvador, the youngest child of a sometimes-single mother. Her father was in an out of the picture, sometimes a wonderful and supportive man, and sometimes a man who took the money they had for food and spent it on alcohol. Sometimes, they didn't eat at night. Or all day.

But, they had a house to live in, and clothes to wear. Her mother, my grandmother, insisted that her daughters get an education, a good one, even though she herself had never made it past middle school. Their life was hard, but they worked hard to make up for it.

Throughout the 1970s, a civil war was building in El Salvador. My mom has told me once that as tensions escalated her friends disappeared from school. There one day, gone the next, sometimes never heard from again. Often, she suspected they were being kidnapped and forced to fight in one of the various gangs that was trying to gain control of the country.

Her mother sensed that it wasn't safe for my mom and her sister to continue living there. They escaped to the United States just in time.

Here, they tried to establish a living. Fortunately, they had family that they could stay with, and so my mother and her sister continued going to high school in California, and they worked hard after school to make rent and to put food on the table. They worked hard to learn English and to fit in. They wanted to be part of America, not just in it. When they graduated, my mom considered just getting a job to support her family. But her mother insisted - she would go to college.

What a wonderful thing for my grandmother to force her to do.

It took a long time, but my mom put herself through UCLA. She was one of very few women in her engineering program. She faced adversity - women didn't major in engineering yet. She was supposed to get her "MRS degree", marry rich (it was LA), and have a few kids. She didn't - she worked her ass off to finish her engineering degree while still mastering English and graduated at the top of her class. She went on to work for a few well-known companies, spending 20+ years helping make one the company it is today. Now she's a leader at a multinational corporation.

Today, she doesn't have to worry about putting food on the table. She doesn't have to worry about whether or not she'll be able to send her only child to school. Instead, my mother has a savings account and knows that whatever the world throws at her, she will be okay. She is stable, she is safe, and so is her whole family.

Pretty far from some very humble and worrisome beginnings, huh?

My mother is an amazing woman. She stood up for what she believed in - that she deserved an education and a chance as much as the boys - and earned everything that she got. And this is all because another woman invested in her - her mother.

So, thank you Abuela for the life I have today.

Throughout my life, my mother taught me that I was so, so fortunate to grow up the way I did because all this, all that, could have not worked out - she could have been forced to leave school in order to work, or to get married young, and to perpetuate the vicious cycle of poverty. Instead, she was lucky because my grandmother was a smart woman and she ended up living a wonderful, successful, and healthy life.

Sometimes, this story makes me want to tear my hair out because, well, how the hell do I live up to that? When my mother fought tooth and nail to survive in this world but I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, how do I earn myself a place? How will I ever make my mother half as proud of me as I am of her? And then one day I realized how.

My mom taught me one other thing: That as someone on this side of the poverty line, the lucky side, it was my job to help pull other people across in any way I could. Her story reminds me that it only takes one believer to do this.

So, learn about the Girl Effect. Learn how you can help one life, one family, even one village by investing in just one girl. I know first hand that it works because I am the result.

{This is my mom, back in El Salvador after twenty+ years.}

Interested in spreading awareness of this problem? Join the Girl Effect blogging movement. Write your own post about this from October 4-11. Here are the details.

[Want more statistics? Read these.]

Rest in Peace, Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T19:41:00.003-05:00

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectation, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart."

-Steve Jobs

Sometimes, when someone famous passes away, people tend to regard that person too highly. This is not one of those times.
-@Digeratii

Tonight, I found out that Steve Jobs had passed away on my iPhone, I fact-checked that on my iPod, and now I'm watching his famous Stanford graduation commencement address on my MacBook Pro. I recommend everyone take the 15 minutes to watch this and realize what a brilliant man he was.

Rest in Peace, Steve Jobs. Thank you for revolutionizing the way we communicate, and thank you for pouring yourself into our world. We will never forget you.

1955-2011

Sent from my MacBook Pro

I don't really like pumpkin spice lattes.

2011-10-03T20:17:00.000-05:00

{via.}

There, I said it. There is my blinding confession for all the world to see and judge.

I know, you guys are baffled by this. Who doesn't like pumpkin spice lattes?

I'm sorry. I wish I could change, but I can't. I've tried.

However, I do like the announcement of pumpkin spice lattes every year because they mean one thing and one thing only... Fall is finally here. :)

Fall, which means football, scarves and jeans, and not sweating the second you leave the house. I mean, that didn't happen today because the high here in south Texas was around 90 F, but that's not the point. THE POINT is that it's almost time for evening strolls in the park and drinking hot coffee and loving how beautiful the trees are.

And the best part? Later this month I'll be getting to spend some time in Washington D.C. for a conference - how gorgeous will that be? I'm so excited for that I could bounce right out of my chair.

But I won't. Because, let's face it, I'm clumsy and I'd break my leg and then not be able to go to D.C. And that would be unfortunate.

It's going to be a good fall, guys. Trips to D.C., graduation... Maybe I'll even learn to like pumpkin spice lattes. But I'm not holding my breath.

The Life 'Unfollow' Button

2011-09-26T10:38:00.000-05:00

Or, why I'm never hanging out with anyone in real life ever again.

You know how when someone starts to annoy the hell out of you on Twitter, you can unfollow them? How if they're really driving you nuts, you can block them? How if you really just want to punch them in the face, you can ~~report them for spam?~~ pretend they don't exist?

It's nice. I can unfriend someone on Facebook, stop reading their blog, stop following them on twitter and voila! they're pretty much cut out of my life. This is the beauty of leading a social media lifestyle.

Which is why I'm never going to speak to people in real three-dimensional life again.

Because real three-dimensional relationships are hard. They require time and effort. They require physically being in a place with someone and they require mostly undivided attention. They require sacrifices. And when they go wrong, they seem to require seeing each other again, even when you'd rather not.

There's no life Unfollow button. I can't just Unfriend them and never hear about their lives anymore, or never see them again, even if their photos aren't coming up in my news feed. I have to deal with them still, and sometimes that really sucks.

I wish everyone had a giant X above their head. We could mentally click it, and that person would be hidden from our life. They'd go on living their own life, but we'd never hear rumors about what they're doing now, or run into them at the market or on campus. Not until we're ready to at least.

I'd click the X above Michele Bachmann's head first.

Scenes from The Forbidden City.

2011-09-25T11:10:00.002-05:00

One day over the summer, two friends of mine went out to the Forbidden City in Beijing. One was a friend from work, a sweet Chinese girl named Dear (her English name), and the other a tall English guy, named Oliver (such a classically British name, right?).

They're pretty rad.

That was taken just inside the Forbidden City. What follows were taken in the Forbidden City, and some are some of my favorite photos I took in China (other than the Great Wall pictures... which I just realized you guys haven't seen yet. Oops! Consider those coming soon as well).

I loved the detailing on every rooftop in China. It always just amazed me.

While we were there, I asked Dear why the Forbidden City was only open until four every afternoon. She told me, "It's haunted."

I looked at her blankly.

Apparently, a woman (an empress? a concubine? my memory is fuzzy now) committed suicide on the grounds many years ago during an invasion (or maybe because her lover cheated?).

Now, guards have frequently reported seeing a woman wearing traditional Chinese dress walking between buildings.

When they would go to chase her out, they would find that there was no one there, even though there was only one way in and out.

Eventually, they assumed this woman was upset because the guests were disturbing her final resting place, so out of respect for her and the other who have died at the Forbidden City they only open from 10-4 every day.

Naturally, this just made Ollie and I want to spend the night so we could see this woman for ourselves.
We decided time in a Chinese prison wasn't worth it.

Maybe some day.

And that's me in front of the famous portrait of Chairman Mao. Ironically, you actually don't see as many photos of him around as people would have you believe. This is one of the few I saw (outside of touristy places) throughout my time in China.

More photos coming soon, promise!

Scenes from Beijing.

2011-09-19T10:51:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. These photos are waaaaaaay over due. I know.

Blogger wouldn't let me upload photos from China.

And once I got back to the states I just got crazy busy.

But, no excuses. Here we go. :)

1. iphone collage. clockwise from left: giant gig 'em statue on my campus, the main fountain at the north gate of the campus where I worked; trays of food to be fried in a side alley way (yes, those are spiders and starfish and etc); live scorpions and starfish on skewers waiting to be fried.

2. A hutong (an alleyway that hasn't been 'modernized') lined with modern cars.

3. Bikes, the traditional mode of transportation.

4. The drum and bell tower near Houhai.

5. Nanguoluxiang, a hutong full of traditional stores, art shops, and cute little food places.

6. Two doors near nanguoluxiang. The old and the new.

7. A little girl eating ice cream near nanguoluxiang.

8. Houhai, which means north lake. A beautiful and upscale area where Westerners tend to gather.

9-13: All taken in the 798 district, the major art district in Beijing.

9. The singing men statues. Larger than life groups of men, all almost completely identical, posed like they were singing.

10. Handmade bird cages and a pile of sewing string.

11. A statue made from spare parts; a scooter - China is getting its British invasion a few decades late; oversize traditional Chinese dress hanging from a tree - it says black clothes, I think.

12. Again, British invasion scooter.

13. A Chinese woman standing in beautiful red light.

fill in the ____ friday

2011-09-09T17:31:00.000-05:00

{via.}

1. Somewhere someone is turning over a new leaf.

2. Wedding photography is/are my muse.

3. It would suck if twitter was no more because, I'd have no where else to document all my inane thoughts.

4. Feeling like having a chance at a new beginning is/are my favorite thing about today.

5. Life is kind of like a book that you know the ending of, but don't quite know how it gets there.

6. If I could have anything I wanted I would want to get out of this town tomorrow.

7. A funny thing happened the other day... I was walking up the stairs and fell flat on my face, right in front of my ex (who hates me). It was probably funnier if you were there/know how often I fall on my face.

advice, not instructions

2011-09-08T20:34:00.000-05:00

{mine.}

Once upon a time (or, August 23) I wrote a post about all the pressure.

Parents.
Society.
Friends.
Organizations.
Those creepy stares your cat gives you.
(Okay, not that last one.)

I ~~think~~ was freaking out about it all. I was finally back to Real Life, where I felt like I had to be a Grown Ass Woman because I was graduating from college. I felt like I had something I had to prove to other people. I felt overwhelmed.

Notice that I'm using the words 'I felt'?

I'm not going to deny that my parents expect a lot from me. My family does. A lot of people do. That's all true. But I was feeling that way because I was allowing myself to feel that way. I was allowing those feelings to get to me. At the end of the day, I was putting the pressure on myself.

People will try to make us feel a hundred different ways. Some people are trying to make you feel happy, or comfortable, or secure -- I'd like to think I'm one of those people. Others want you to feel frustrated, or scared, or belittled. Those people, both groups, will always be there trying to influence you. What's important is whether or not we let them.

See, for the most part, I think we get to choose how we feel. It's more than just choosing how we view a situation, though that's important -- it's about choosing whether or not the pressure everyone else exerts on us will bother us. We can let it bother us, let it get to us until it's all we can think about and we freeze (like I did), or we can choose to acknowledge that those pressures exist but realize that the most important pressure we experience is the pressure we put on ourselves.

I shrugged a lot of the pressure off. I told myself it wasn't worth the headaches and the insomnia and the backaches and the wanting to tear my hair out. I remembered that what they want for me is not necessarily what I want for me, nor is it necessarily the best for me. I'm putting pressure on myself to get good grades this last semester and apply for jobs in a timely manner, but I'm not putting more pressure than I can handle.

The key I've discovered is to do what I feel is right and only listen to others for advice, not instructions.

September Goals

2011-09-05T19:52:00.001-05:00

{via.}

It's September? What? It has been for FIVE DAYS? Are you sure?

Oh, the calendar says yes. That's awesome and it sucks. It's possible that this month Texas will have it's one week of fall (fingers crossed), but it also means graduation is drawing closer and I'm really not ready to let go of undergrad yet. SLOW DOWN, TIME.

Anyway. Goals. These are definitely necessary this month. Like whoa.

1. Post photos from China. I mean, geez Valorie. It's not like you want to be a professional photographer or anything.

2. Lose two pounds a week. So, China was great and all. Except... I never had access to a gym but the street food was greasy and delicious. TOTALLY UNEXPECTEDLY, none of my jeans fit now. Who saw that coming?

3. Study for the LSAT two hours a day. I may have to take Saturdays off, but I also have to take it (for the last time I ever) on October 1 so... that's cool.

4. Don't skip class. At least wait until November to start skipping. The senioritis is with this one.

5. Along that vein, maybe buy your textbooks at some point. That could be cool.

6. Finish applying for Teach For America. Your application is due September 16, Valorie. Why are you talking to yourself in the third person?

7. Be more present in the blogsphere. I wonder why I feel like I'm losing followers and then I realize it's because I don't interact with y'all. So, take this as my formal apology and also my promise to actually comment on your posts now that I'm back stateside.

8. Take more pictures. I mean this formally and informally. Try to do a photoshoot or two, AND take more photos when you're with your friends. Someday, you'll be mad at yourself if you don't.

9. Finish three things on your 101 list. You're really not doing so hot with this, so go for four, but three is good. Also, be rull proud of yourself for remembering that thing even exists.

10. Live it up. You've got 95 days of undergrad left. THAT'S LESS THAN A HUNDRED DAYS, VALORIE. Go to Pub Quiz on Sunday nights. Go to the football games. Hang out with your friends. Don't hide in your apartment, don't worry so much about homework, don't let being shy stop you. You'll regret it.

What are your goals this month?

the elephant in the room. the big, graduating elephant in the room.

2011-08-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

{via.}

This is a stream-of-consciousness post. I'm sorry if at parts it doesn't make sense, but if I didn't get it out I was going to lose it.

I'm back stateside now. [Photo blogs and more about China will come soon.]

I'm back stateside and back to real life. The real life where I have to write my senior thesis, asap. The real life where I'm graduating from college in December, in four months. The real life where I'm supposed to be applying for jobs or grad schools. The real life where everyone expects me to have my shit together, and I don't.

I talk about this a lot. This whole not having my shit together thing. I know sometimes I think I'm really really sure; I'm like, FOR REAL REAL THIS TIME GUYS.

But now it's crunch time, and I'm NOT for real real sure. Yet, post-graduation plans are all people seem to want to talk to me about these days. And no one wants the "I'm not sure" answer. I'm sure there are hundreds of people in the same position as me being asked the same question and giving the same answer, but right now I feel like the whole world is watching me. Everyone is waiting to see if I can sink or swim, but no one seems ready to throw me a line if I need some help.

Right now, I'm just paralyzed. I'm not sinking or swimming: I'm just barely keeping my head above water. Everyone is watching and it's taking me all my will power to not close my eyes and scream at them to just leave me alone for a second so I can figure my shit out. Jesus, let me think. Please.

I feel like I have so much to prove, to everyone - to my parents, to my boyfriend, to my school, to everyone who ever wrote me a recommendation letter, to everyone who ever scoffed at me for being proud that I'm Hispanic even though I have green eyes and blonde hair, to my status as a first-generation American on one side of my family, to the UCLA legacy I haven't acted on, to the side of the family that's watching me be their first college graduate this generation, to the old bosses that said I'd go far, to my fucking next door neighbor when I was twelve who was the first person to ever call me 'brilliant' - but I don't even know what I'm trying to prove.

That's the scariest part. It's all this pressure to prove that I'm something when I don't even know what that something is. It's too much pressure, it's way too much, and I feel like I'm being set up for failure.

The life goals, the long journeys, and the homesickness

2011-07-18T07:14:00.000-05:00

One of my life goals was to travel alone. I thought it would be so cool. I’d get to explore a city on my own, do whatever I want, not have to be on anyone else’s time table. Just me.

Traveling alone was going to prove that I was capable, that I was strong, that I was Grown Ass Woman.

It was and did all those things. For a while.

But there comes a time when you’re traveling alone that you just want to be home. It doesn’t matter if it means going back to a town where you don’t fit in, or a roommate you don’t like, or a job that makes you die inside. You want those things because they’re familiar, because they’re easy; they don’t come out of a suitcase and they smell the way you remember.

My parents just spent a week in Shanghai with me. It seemed like perfect timing: I was eight weeks into my sojourn in China, I was starting to feel like I gelled with the country, and even though I was almost as new to Shanghai as they, I could act like a guide to some extent. We had a lot of fun.

Just a little while ago, we got in taxis. Me back to my dorm, them back to the US. And I started bawling. Seeing them leave made me realize how much I wanted to go back with them. It took all my self-restraint to not say “Take me with you! I’ll sleep on the floor in economy class, I don’t care!”

Somehow, I didn’t. I held my ground. I knew I needed to stay in China a while longer. Alone.

But I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried the whole cab ride back.

I say all this because it made me have an epiphany: The journey to becoming a Grown Ass Woman is like a really long trip you make alone in a foreign country. There are other girls out there on the same journey I am and our paths will cross occasionally, like my path occasionally crosses with other travelers through China, but this is something we most have to figure out on our own. All we have to guide us are some obscure tips written in the margins of a Lonely Planet guidebook from a generation ago.

Some days, the journey is thrilling: exciting people to meet, places to go, things to learn about yourself. Hopefully this is most days. Some days, it sucks: You have to pack or spend a day on the train or you just feel stuck and bored.

Then, there are the todays. The days where you’re frustrated with yourself and this journey and your internal monologue is screaming “Why couldn’t you have just been content at home? We were okay there. It was comfortable, it was easy, why did you have to leave? Why couldn’t you have just been happy where you were? Let’s go back. NOW.”

It’s a valid question. The answer? Because you just weren’t happy there and then. That’s all. There’s no way around that.

And so you pick yourself up and you keep going. You stand your ground. You willingly go through a bit of discomfort so you can experience some joy for once. Because even though today you just want to hide in your old life, tomorrow might be a wonderful day in your new life, and you can’t deny yourself that.

I threw out a lot of my old clothes in the past two weeks. I was always a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, a tomboy. I rarely wore pink.

Today, I’m wearing a light pink top that I wouldn’t have been caught dead in just this past May. I bought a girly hat that I would have never picked out for myself six months ago.

It’s not comfortable, but it’s not uncomfortable either. It’s just new, it’s different. Even though I will probably always pick mudding with the boys over shopping with the girls, becoming a Grown Ass Woman has included an evolution in the way I dress, and I’m learning to be okay with that. It’s new, it’s different, but frankly, it’s a little like China.

Not every day is easy or comfortable or happy. Some days, I’m going to want to put on a tshirt and jeans, just like some days I’m going to want to go home. But the important thing is that I don’t – that I stick with the journey, that I embrace the discomfort, that I allow myself this time to travel alone because what comes out of this trip is going to make me so much happier than what I had before I started out.

21 Ways to Travel China Cheaply (And Still Have Fun)

2011-07-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

I turned 21 yesterday. It's supposed to be a big deal, right? I mean, I'm an American and I'm finally 21. Right?

Too bad I turned 21 in a country where the drinking age (17) was only established in like 2006 and no one obeys it.

But, that's okay. I've had my birthday abroad before and I'm sure I'll do it again. And that made me realize - in these eight weeks abroad (I KNOW, RIGHT?) I've probably learned about 21 things I can share to help others come to China.

And so, I present:

21 Ways to Travel China (and maybe other places too) Cheaply (and Still Have Fun)

(Maybe next I should write a post on how to use too many parentheses. ALL THE TIME.)

1. Stay in hostels.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Hostels are of course way cheaper (think $15 USD a night) and there's normally a fun crowd at them, people definitely worth meeting. In China, $15-25 USD will also get you a damn nice place, too.

2. Plan ahead.

I know I'm an advocate of wherever your whimsy dictates travel, but places to stay are cheaper if booked in advance, travel tickets are cheaper if bought in advance, and if you research your location, you'll find the cheap places to eat. Which brings me to...

3. Yes, definitely eat at the street vendors.

I know it looks iffy and you're never quite sure what you're eating (unless you speak fluent Mandarin), but they don't actually eat dog in China, and they cook the food at such high temperatures that you should be fine. The food is also cheap too, and often just as delicious as something you'd get in a restaurant. (I had lunch today - four skewers of chicken and an ice cream - for less than $1.60 USD) Also, this is definitely where you experience the real culture.

4. Pack lightly, even if you're not backpacking.

A lot of hostels will hold your bags for you after you check out, but for a fee. The fee is often per bag per day or hour, so the less you have, the less you pay.

5. Look for the free drink nights.

Example: I was at a bar last night. I paid a 20 yuan cover (which was actually a 40 yuan cover, split between two people because it was buy one, get one free) and drinks were free all night. So, for basically $3.12 USD I had drinks all night, got to dance on stage, and watch crazy people dressed as clowns lead some bizarre group Communism dance. (No, of course I didn't have my camera.) (The bar is The Paramount Club, look it up if you're ever in Shanghai.) My point is, places offer this frequently in China, you just have to look for them.

6. Don't take tours.

No, seriously. Don't. Buy yourself a visual Chinese-English dictionary so you can get around, find a map in English and Chinese, and just go. Buy train tickets to the Great Wall on your own for example (I paid $20 USD that whole day, including transport, entrance, and food). You'll have more fun, have a more authentic experience, you'll meet people, and you won't be ripped off (my parents paid $100 for a less exciting experience).

7. Bargain for everything.

Technically, you're not supposed to in nice stores, but a good phrase to use is to ask if they have any specials that day. Shows your interested, but you're not interested in being ripped off. About 50% of the time, they'll cut about 10 USD off. And in places where you're supposed to bargain, always expect to play about 10% of the original asking price. Yes, 10%. Maybe 15%.

8. Be ready to walk away.

You can't fall in love with anything at these markets. Sometimes, you will get someone intent on ripping you off. That said, often when you walk away they'll lower the price. I've had people go down to below what I was originally asking, just by walking away.

9. Make "to-see" lists.

You're never going to see everything if you don't prioritize. Mark everything you want to see on a map so you don't have to pay for a lot of transportation going across town over and over.

10. Get up early.

The more you see every day, the fewer days you'll need to stay, and the less you'll pay for hotels. It's all about the math. Also, you'll get to see more at all the sites without a million other people driving you crazy.

11. Stay up late.

I do recommend taking advantage of the Chinese custom of midday siestas (they don't call it that). Take a nap after your lunch and then hit the sites some more. Wherever you are, there's a lot to see and the nightlife is great.

12. Go to sites on their free days.

Most sites have at least one day of the week that's free. Find it out, and go that day. It probably won't be any more crowded because people rarely take the time to figure this out, but it adds up.

13. Pregame.

The most college term ever, I know. But definitely have a few drinks at home. A good local beer at the local corner store will run you probably less than 10 kuai (less than $2USD), which, except for on free nights, is definitely going to be cheaper than any club.

14. Don't fly, take the train.

Especially when you're traveling long distances, this is a double whammy for saving money. Take a sleeper train. It'll be cheaper than flying, by a lot, and you won't be paying for a hotel that night. Also, a good opportunity to meet people.

15. Be practical.

I know your little clutch purse it suuuuper cute, but take the across-the-body bag that is harder to steal. If you run the risk of losing your purse, that's also all your cards, your money, possibly your passport and your identity. In China it's hard to get police reports, and therefore it'll also be hard to get that all replaced. :)

16. Know your bank's ATM rules.

My bank, for instance, charges me $5 USD every time I withdraw money internationally. Not only is that just kind of insulting, but it's a waste! Every time you go to an ATM, just get the largest amount of the local currency you can and worry about hiding it in your bags, throughout your room, and etc, later. This way you can withdraw less often and deal with less fees.

17. CouchSurfing.

I've never tried CouchSurfing myself, but I've heard great reviews from friends who have. It's definitely worth a try. I would recommend doing it with a friend though, just in case.

18. Don't take taxis.

Even splitting the cabs, they're way more expensive than taking the local buses or subway. In Beijing, the bus is 40 Chinese fen (cents; that's roughly six cents US) and the subway is 2 yuan wherever you go (or 31 cents USD). Shanghai's subway is 2-4 yuan depending on where you end up, and the buses are 1 yuan. It'll take a few minutes to orient yourself at first, but, really, which are you going to take?

19. Learn the best place to convert money.

Fees suck. The cheapest place to convert is definitely not your hotel. It might be the bank, or it might be at the airport. Research rates before you leave your home country. In fact, converting money may even be cheaper in your home country. You just have to know.

20. Eat family style.

This is a Chinese custom, and a wonderful one at that. Ordering just a few dishes for the table and eating whatever you want not only affords you way more variety and let's you be adventurous with your food: Want to try eel but don't want to order it for yourself in case you don't like it? Order for the table - everyone will try it and you'll split the damage if it's bad. And when the cheque comes, you'll look at the empty plates and say, "I participated in this feast for 30 yuan?"

21. Give up your internet addiction.

This one has (obviously) been the hardest for me. But, most hotels will charge you for internet. Internet cafes are cheap, but unnecessary. Regular cafes (think Starbucks) are expensive as hell. And frankly, the internet in China isn't that great. Restrain yourself. If you need, find the cheapest, most sketchy internet cafe near you and stay there as little as possible (you'll need 3 yuan/hour and your passport).

Does anyone else have any good cheap travel tips? :)