the internet rabbit holes, good influences, and 31 days of DETOXY HELL, PROBABLY

I joke with my oldest friends that I've spent the better part of my life "broken" somehow - I always seem to have a cold, or a stomach ache, or knee pain, or a head ache or some other minor health annoyance. And while it was always annoying, it somehow ended up being a funny joke. (YEAH YOU'RE SICK ALL THE TIME, HA. HA.) Then at some point I woke up and said - surely this isn't how all people feel all the time? BECAUSE THIS SUCKS.

I've tried various changes to combat this. Stop drinking milk! Take ALL the multivitamins! Give up ALL the meat! Nope? Okay, give up ALL the bread! Eat ALL kindamore fruits and veggies! Juice cleanses! ALL organic hippie food ALL the time! Drink ACTUAL ~60 oz of water each day!

Each change had it's pros and cons (except being vegetarian - it was all cons, all the time, starting and not ending with the crazy amount of weight I gained and haven't completely lost since). But none of them really changed anything about how I felt day in and day out.* At some point I gave up on the experiments and while I still eat mostly organic foods with a little more balance than when I was a kid, I also still feel like crap.

Fast forward to more and more people I know giving up sugar. Not just like, no longer adding sugar to their coffee, but taking all forms of non-naturally-occurring sugar out of their diet. And feeling great. And sustaining it for the actual rest of their lives.

Cue the moment when I finally clicked a bunch of links to articles and videos like "Is Sugar Toxic?" and "Sugar: The Bitter Truth." Cue me quickly ignoring those tabs as they sat open in Chrome for weeks, because I wasn't ready to learn that something delicious I had everyday could possibly be the root of many of my problems.

Find me with nothing to do one night and finally reading the articles, watching the video. Falling into the rabbit hole of researching sugar-related health problems. Learning about links between sugar and joint pain. Joint! Pain! Wondering why no one has described processed sugar as an "addictive mind fuck" because that's sure what it seems like.

Get to a point where I'm sitting in front of the computer, not sure I can give up sugar for the actual rest of my life (no more Nutella? Ever? THE HORROR) but knowing I can do it for one month. Knowing that it'll be hard as hell and a detox-induced emotional rollercoaster (during the same month as BiSC! when I work somewhere that serves gelato!!) but knowing I can commit to 31 days to see if it actually helps. If anything changes. If I feel any better at all - if my knee pain, and the sluggish feelings, and the headaches, and and and... will get better.

May 1. Sugar free for 31 days. Ready go.

*Except my three days with BluePrintCleanse, which made me feel crazy awesome but wasn't financially sustainable for, you know, EVER AND EVER.

Boston.

Anyone who has ever met me ever would tell you that I'm a sensitive person. It's okay, it's not always a flaw.

So when I was at work yesterday and heard about the bombing at the Boston Marathon, I felt as if I'd been punched in the gut. I told my coworker over and over again that I thought I was going to throw up. I stepped away for a few minutes to get my head on straight. I gave in to my concern for the city and our nation when I got home by watching CNN for three hours straight and crying. On a day that was far from routine for our nation, this reaction was completely routine for me.

I think every blogger contemplated saying something, the only question was what? What is the right thing to say when some of us - like me - have no words, just feelings? And lots of them?

Now is the not the time to place blame, to speculate about who did this and why. Now is not the time to be partisan, nor for jokes. Now is the time to take care of Boston and to take care of our loved ones who were affected by this, both directly and indirectly.

At a time when it's so easy to wonder what the world is coming to, to be afraid for our safety, to fear our neighbors, and to lose faith in humanity it is so important not to. Don't listen to the voices that tell you to give up, that there's no hope. Remember that yesterday afternoon, directly after the explosion, professional first responders, runners, and spectators alike ran TOWARD the wreckage to help in any way they could. Remember the runners that continued running past the finish line to the medical tents to donate blood. Remember the people that opened their homes, that fed the uninjured runners.

In the aftermath of this senseless act committed by a person or persons or a group, please remember that there is so much good in this world. There is more good in this world than there is evil. And while evil is often more flashy, good conquers evil all the time.

Do something good today. Do something good tomorrow too, and the day after that. Be part of the good that conquers the bad.

What I'm Reading When I'm Not Refreshing Twitter #2

I promised this post wouldn't be a weekly feature, but I never said it wouldn't happen again. Here's what I'm currently reading on the internet when I'm not refreshing Twitter.

"After all, grammar has nothing to do with job performance, or creativity, or intelligence, right? Wrong. If it takes someone more than 20 years to notice how to properly use "it's," then that's not a learning curve I'm comfortable with."         -I Won't Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar. Here's Why.  By Kyle Wiens.

"I don’t want more than I need, of anything. I want enough. Enough to be healthy, and safe. Enough to share with everyone. Enough for everyone everywhere to eat, sleep in warmth and safety, to learn freely, to express their ideas, to choose their partners, to believe what they choose. I think most of us have forgotten what enough even feels like."          -Enough! By Marianne Elliot (emphasis mine.)

"In the past, I have sought to understand "men" instead of the person right in front of me. And I have expected myself to be "woman," ignoring my very own heartbeat, my very own Self."          -The Most Difficult but Greatest Lesson I've Learned in One Year of Marriage from Lauren Dubinsky  

What are you guys reading these days? Share some links in the comments - I can always use something new to read!

(Also - did you guys know that ReadAnyBook.com is a thing? Because, oh yeah - that's a thing. No, I was no paid to tell you about this. Jeez, internet police.)

we went strolling and drank lemonade.

It's seemed like summer the past few days in DC. Hot and sunny, not too muggy. I know this weather will end because it's too good to last and we'll get a real spring soon - it will get rainy and humid and I'll wonder why I forgot AGAIN to invest in a good pair of rain boots.  But for now, it's been perfect weather for shorts and having a beer outside with your bare legs propped up, on a boat if possible. Yesterday was my first time seeing the East Coast shoreline from somewhere other than a plane and my first time sailing. (And, let's be real - my first sunburn of the season.)

This summer, I want more of that. More days sailing and hiking. I want day trips to the beach and nights out with friends. I want to wear flip flops and sunglasses everyday. And lots of sundresses. I want those freckles I get on my face every summer. I want to think a little less and laugh a lot more. I want to cool off in museums or by pools. I want picnics on the Mall and reading in the park and a hand to hold. It's been a while since I had someone to laugh with late at night and I want that again too.

Here's to the next few months of hot, muggy days and warm, summer nights.

(I also want to find this movie on DVD. Grease forever!)