In case you couldn't guess it, there is a downside to being a FURIOUSLY OBSESSIVE LIFE PLANNER. When you want to live your life in SHOUTY EXCITED CAPITALS as much as possible, you start to think every day needs to be SHOUTY EXCITED CAPITALS and so sometimes go a little overboard with the pressure on yourself.
I experienced this most with my desire to write every day. Being published is something that has been my dream since I was that weird misunderstood girl in sixth grade who would rather write in the cafeteria than discuss whether or not boys still had cooties or if we were allowed to like them yet. (Yes, really.) I've had so many stories bottled up inside me, waiting to be told, that I decided that 2012 would be the year I started trying to make that happen. Screw the fear of rejection.
And so every month of 2012 that passed without me waking up every morning and writing first thing was a month of COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE. It didn't matter what else I accomplished, if I had fun, or what was on my plate that day or week or month, I was totally unforgiving about the fact that I didn't write. And being hard on myself made it harder to want to try again the next day.
What I didn't realize was that just because I wasn't working on the same project every day didn't mean I wasn't writing. In fact, if I think about it, I've probably done some sort of creative writing every single day this year, I just didn't always notice it. Then, in the middle of berating myself for sleeping in because I was mothereffing exhausted instead of getting up and writing like I "should," I realized it. I realized that I had written every single day I could consciously remember, it just wasn't always on the same project.
Blogging can be creative writing too,dumbass Valorie.
So what happened right after I realized that? I relaxed. I sat down, I shut up, I stopped harassing myself, and then I wrote every day for another month. Creatively. On the same two projects. I wrote furiously and obsessively and actually got somewhere.
INSERT SHOUTY EXCITED CAPITALS HERE.
So, you know. Relax. Let's all just be a little nicer to ourselves, and maybe we'll actually get somewhere for once. We cool, self?
I experienced this most with my desire to write every day. Being published is something that has been my dream since I was that weird misunderstood girl in sixth grade who would rather write in the cafeteria than discuss whether or not boys still had cooties or if we were allowed to like them yet. (Yes, really.) I've had so many stories bottled up inside me, waiting to be told, that I decided that 2012 would be the year I started trying to make that happen. Screw the fear of rejection.
And so every month of 2012 that passed without me waking up every morning and writing first thing was a month of COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE. It didn't matter what else I accomplished, if I had fun, or what was on my plate that day or week or month, I was totally unforgiving about the fact that I didn't write. And being hard on myself made it harder to want to try again the next day.
What I didn't realize was that just because I wasn't working on the same project every day didn't mean I wasn't writing. In fact, if I think about it, I've probably done some sort of creative writing every single day this year, I just didn't always notice it. Then, in the middle of berating myself for sleeping in because I was mothereffing exhausted instead of getting up and writing like I "should," I realized it. I realized that I had written every single day I could consciously remember, it just wasn't always on the same project.
Blogging can be creative writing too,
So what happened right after I realized that? I relaxed. I sat down, I shut up, I stopped harassing myself, and then I wrote every day for another month. Creatively. On the same two projects. I wrote furiously and obsessively and actually got somewhere.
INSERT SHOUTY EXCITED CAPITALS HERE.
So, you know. Relax. Let's all just be a little nicer to ourselves, and maybe we'll actually get somewhere for once. We cool, self?
Blogging certainly serves as writing - Don't be so hard on yourself, girl!
ReplyDeletediscipline and perserverence: something to be proud of :)
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