Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Feet Love.

This is a little cute something my teacups in peony has been doing lately, and I thought I'd join in this week. Mr. Man and I relaxing in his room. :)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Blog-oversary Celebration?

Wow. Already?

In less than a month, I will have been blogging here for a year. A YEAR, PEOPLE. Do you know how impossible it is for me to stick to anything for a week? Let alone a YEAR? This is a big deal!

So. Celebration. I want to do a giveaway. I know a lot of you guys are really awesome Etsy designers (and yes, I do stalk you and secretly want everything you make), so would any of you be interested in getting some more coverage here in a few weeks? We could feature one thing, a dozen things, whatever! Or, how about you photographers? A print, perhaps?

If this sounds like something you'd be interested in, email me at

beautifuliconoclast [at] gmail [dot] com

NOT [dot] comE like I seriously almost typed, haha. :) I'll probably also send out a few emails in a week or so, but if you're definitely interested let me know! I'm so excited about this and to hear from y'all!

Monday, March 29, 2010

On Being Totally Self-Conscious

Yeah. Me. Self-conscious. Sure, I'm conceited 90% of the time. I think I'm pretty hot stuff. It doesn't help that my friends pretty often complain about how boys throw themselves at me, which I honestly don't EVER notice, but having them tell me this is enough to boost my ego.

But right now is that other 5% of the time when I want to wear baggy clothes and curl up in a ball and not come out of my room until I'm somehow miraculously back down to the size 1/2 I was in high school.

I keep seeing (and hanging out with) pretty, skinny girls. I'm sure they were around during the winter too, but they were all bundled up in jackets and sweaters and it's harder to tell if someone's hiding a muffin top under their big snow jacket. But now they're out in droves, wearing itty bitty tank tops and short shorts and generally just looking hot, and I'm so just... not.

These are the girls I used to look like:

And, I mean, I am not fat by any means. But I'm not a size 1 or 2 anymore. And, honestly, this is getting me to a dangerous place in my life because I'm starting to count calories without thinking and telling myself, "Whoa, 1200 in a day? That's a lot, Valorie..." And while it's been years since I last was starving myself, I don't want to slip down the slope again. Because 1200 ISN'T a lot.

And yet, yeah, I DO want to wear short shorts without them riding up my leg, or wear a tight tank top without worrying about fat I look in it. I want to feel confident wearing a swim suit and not mind the fact that summer is coming up and soon the last thing I'm going to be wanting to do in Texas is wear clothes. You know? I want to be able to show a little midriff and be confident that people aren't disgusted and/or judging me. And I don't feel that way right now.

Yeah, it helps that Mr. Man tells me I'm pretty all the time. But still, I'd like to feel pretty for once, you know?

All this to say, I'm giving up cheese for a week. It's on my 101 in 1001 list anyways, and I know most of the fat/calories in my diet come from cheese. I'm not really sure how I'm going to pull this one off since I literally have cheese with every meal, but... I'm working out it. We'll see. I've also been doing the working out five times a week thing and it's definitely helped some -- I've already lost like two and a half pounds... but still.

Y'all get where I'm coming from, right?

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Weekend Whoop!

Okay, back to the Weekend Whoop this week! Get excited! Don't forget, you should TOTALLY participate, Aggie or not. Whoooop! is for awesome things that happened, while tssss is for lame things that t-sips do. :)

Friday: I got out of class at 10:20 (my 2:30 class was cancelled) which was AWESOME. I spent the most of the day running errands and lame things, but I got to study with my good friend Mollee that afternoon for a while. That night, she and I went to a shindig with a bunch of friends, which ended in a 2 am IHOP run, which, let's be honest here, is always the best way to end a night. (That's Tim being a messy eater. He's fun.) Whoooop!

Saturday: In the morning, I went to the gym and had a really tough workout that I'm still pretty stinkin' sore from. But that was awesome. Whoooop! I then drove up to Waco to see Mr. Man. He had the day off, so we had lunch together and went for a walk down by the Brazos River. (That is the river that runs through Waco, right?) We totally walked across a bridge that we definitely weren't supposed to and almost died in the process, but I've got this new-found need to try everything once, so I was all for it. Whoooop!

You can't tell in this photo, but he's telling me to stop taking pictures and hurry up. We see how that went. :)
I have this new obsession with photos of people walking away from the camera. I'm not sure why, but I dig it. What do y'all think? These ducks were AWESOME. They let us get close enough to touch them. They were so cute, like a couple. :)

That night, I also went and saw Bounty Hunter with a few friends. It was kind of predictable, but really good, see it if you get the chance. :)

Sunday: Ugh. Studying all day long. I have two tests this week, so it had to happen. It sucked though. :( tssssss. That's about all I've got for you for today.

How was your weekend? :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Well, I Always Did Want to Flip a Car, pt. 3

I just realized that I never explained what the heck the title of this series of posts meant. (Check out Part 1 and Part 2 if this makes no sense to you.)

You guys are going to think we're sick.

Here's the thing -- Mr. Man is kind of a thrill-seeker. And I'm sort of an adrenaline junkie. Meaning, we do stuff like jump off the roofs of our houses, and take 150 foot free falls at carnivals, and both of our "back-up life plans" have something to do with being stunt drivers. So, while, yes, the wreck was terrifying. And yes, B-Fray did get hurt and that's awful. And yes, it was dangerous, and horrible, and we're beyond lucky to be alive. But, looking back, the actual act of flipping, of being totally off the ground and not controlled by gravity, was kind of... fun. Once I knew I was safely on the ground, and still breathing, and not harmed, and B-Fray was still conscious and okay, I could admit that it was kind of cool that we walked away from that unscathed, kind of like in an action movie.

And so, when we got home, and had a moment to breathe, and knew B-Fray was safe in his bed, Mr. Man looked at me and said, "Well, I always did want to flip a car."

So that's that story. Now if you want to see photos of the Jeep post-wreck, Mr. Man's mom had to take some for insurance and sent them to me. If you don't want to see them, I'd navigate away from the page now.

My view from inside the car. Thankfully, they cleaned up all B-Fray's blood.
This was the only window that stayed remotely intact.

Yeah. We're lucky to be alive.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Well, I Always Did Want to Flip a Car, pt. 2

Before you read this, ready part 1 here. Sorry it's so long, but it's just a lot that happened.

...When I finally uncurled myself from my huddled crouch, there was a bar on top of me; part of the roof that had broken off. I pushed it aside, and reached for the boys in the front, trying to make sure they were moving, conscious, alive.

I can’t remember exactly what happened next. I think Mr. Man asked if everyone was okay and that’s when we realized B-Fray was bleeding pretty hard. The next thing I knew, I was on the phone with 911 people, telling them where we were, trying to get them to us. At some point, we realized my door was jammed shut, and Mr. Man asked me to crawl into the front because I was shivering pretty violently and he was shaking because he was terrified. I sat in his lap and he wrapped his jacket around both of us and we both talked to B-Fray, comforting him and ourselves.

The cops arrived first. Then the firemen. Then the ambulance. Mr. Man, who was remarkably entirely unscathed, got out to go talk to the police, and the firemen came to B-Fray and I, doing a preliminary check up before the paramedics could get there. I remember being incredibly calm: I was comforting B-Fray, talking to the firemen, telling them to get him help first. I remember making a joke, even. That’s how I always am in emergencies; I’m the best person to have around, honestly.

At some point, they asked me to step out of the vehicle. I walked to the side, completely alone, and leaned against the barrier that we’d crashed into just minutes before. That’s when what had just happened hit me. I was looking at the road, noting that there was more broken glass than snow on the ground. I was staring off at where Mr. Man was telling the cops exactly what happened. I watched the paramedics get B-Fray out of the car and take him into the ambulance; he was being supported on either side and looked woozy. I stared at the Jeep, and marveled that we’d survived at all. B-Fray’s side was completely caved in, both bumpers were gone, my door was dented in, and all the windows were busted out. I broke down and started crying.

A fireman noticed, a nice guy with kind blue eyes and a bushy blond mustache, and he put me inside the fire truck, telling me to keep warm. They let Mr. Man join me pretty soon, and we stood in there together, hugging each other, answering questions as we were asked them, but basically just trying to keep from falling apart. He called his mom, got her to come pick us up, and soon, the paramedics released B-Fray to come sit with us. What had looked super nasty was really just a flesh wound, and while he needed to go to the hospital, an ambulance wasn’t necessary.

He was covered in blood though. It was down his face, all over his clothes, matted in his hair that hadn’t been ripped out. I made a joke that he should take a picture of himself, make it a little more zombie-like and use it for his Facebook profile picture around Halloween. It was the first time he or I laughed afterward.

As the firemen found our stuff, they brought it to us in the car – my purse had ended up on the other side of the highway, everything still in it except the set of diamond earrings Mr. Man gave me for Valentine’s. Mr. Man’s radar detector, one of his shirts, B-Fray’s wallet. They were so sweet, so helpful.

Mr. Man and I finally took a moment to look ourselves over – I had a few bruises from hitting the door and the tire jack hitting me, and we both had a concussion and could feel some soreness from whiplash setting in. I looked at the Jeep again and realized that our lack of injuries should have been impossible.

A cop came and gave Mr. Man a ticket: “unsafe speed for the weather conditions” which was utter BS if you ask me. Then, they gave all three of us a ride to IHOP, which was right across the street from the hospital. We walked B-Fray over there (why the cops didn’t take us there, I don’t know). By then, it was past 3 am. We stayed with him in the ER until 6, where we watched Lilo and Stitch with Mr. Man’s mom and B-Fray’s dad. That was the first time Mr. Man smiled, and it was then that I finally started feeling like we would be okay. At 6, Mr. Man’s mom took us back to my car, and Mr. Man and I went back to his apartment.

He was asleep in moments, but every time I closed my eyes, I was back in the car, flipping over again. I started shaking, and I didn’t sleep much that day. At 8, I (finally) called my mom and told her what happened – they were upset I didn’t call sooner, but happy I was alive. When I told them how damaged the car was, they were shocked we weren’t more hurt.

I still am, honestly. As I write this, my head is hurting at about a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10, which is pretty good for 36 hours after a concussion. I’m still pretty sore, especially in my neck, and I’ve noticed quite a few small but pretty distinct bruises on my back and arms. B-Fray is up and about, doing well, and Mr. Man has a slight headache, but is 100% fine otherwise.

We shouldn’t be this okay. Mr. Man went to the impound lot and looked at the Jeep one more time with the insurance guys, to see if anything was salvageable (it’s not). He called me after and told me we were beyond lucky. We shouldn’t have walked away so close to unscathed. We shouldn’t have walked away at all, honestly. If I’d been driving by that scene, I would have expected the people in the car to have been taken away in an ambulance, if not care-flight-ed out. We were so lucky, guys. So, so lucky. And I still can’t quite believe it.

(img cred. No, we didn't take a single photo of the accident.)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Well, I Always Did Want to Flip a Car, pt. 1

I’m taking a break from the Weekend Whoop this week. Not to do some spring break coverage, but to talk about the worst moment of my spring break. I can’t get this out of my head, and I’m hoping that maybe writing it down, examining it piece by piece, will help me.

On Saturday, around 4 pm, it started snowing. Not hard, not intense, just little flurries. It wasn’t sticking though, so my friends and I had no problem going out to dinner at 7. Driving in it certainly built up my confidence, so at 9 when Mr. Man called and asked if I felt up to a trip to a town about 30 minutes away to go visit a few friends of ours, I was all for it. We took a 4-wheel drive Jeep to be safe, and on our way there, we didn’t have a problem – the snow had stopped falling, it was about 35 degrees out, so it was just barely sticking. It looked like it would be gone by morning.

We stayed at our friend’s place until about 2 am. We were having fun, kind of forgot about the snow, didn’t notice the temperature was dropping. When we did notice, we considered sleeping there. But Mr. Man had to be at work, I needed to go back to school in the morning. We needed to be back in our beds that night. So, we drove.

It was a mistake.

Mr. Man was driving. Our friend B-Fray was riding shotgun – I was supposed to be (we have a weird norm that girlfriend of driver always sits shotgun), but I insisted he take it. I wanted to lay down in the back because I was exhausted and a little queasy.

I hate myself for insisting on that.

Almost as soon as I got in the back, I leaned my head against the driver’s seat. I didn’t want to look out the window, you know? I don’t normally get car sick, but with the way I was already feeling, I knew that seeing the contrast of the white snow and the dark road/sky flying by the window would make me more sick. I had my right arm wrapped around the chair, in Mr. Man’s jacket pocket. I didn’t have my own and my hands were freezing.

We had been driving ten minutes, maybe fifteen, when it happened.

Suddenly, we were fishtailing. It came out of nowhere. As stupid as this sounds, it didn’t feel like a big deal at first. We’d fishtailed in his Jeep before. My car doesn’t handle water well at all, so I’m pretty used to a little hydroplaning now and again and know how to recover from it.

Mr. Man and B-Fray shouted from the front seat. “Oh shit,” they were yelling over and over again, and I glanced up, looking out the window. I saw we were spinning, I saw snow, and suddenly, I saw the concrete median. It was much closer to the car than I was comfortable with. Mr. Man and B-Fray kept shouting. I could hear Mr. Man working to recover, trying to stop the Jeep. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around the front seat and wedged my head between them.

For a moment, it felt like we’d recovered. I think there was actually a split second where I felt slightly relieved. But then, the back end of the car slammed into the median. By the time it hit, we’d done a full 180 degree spin, and when we bounced off, we spun another 180 degrees.

Mr. Man and B-Fray were yelling throughout that whole part. It wasn’t anything constructive, just a string of curse words; a chant almost. Weirdly enough, I wasn’t scared throughout any of that. There simply wasn’t time for fear.

I guess the car couldn’t handle all the spinning, because it started flipping. We rolled once, maybe twice, none of us are really sure. It felt like gravity had stopped acting on us. We were just falling, spinning, flipping, completely out of control, at mercy to the unforgiving pavement.

That’s when I finally got scared. I could hear every crunch of the car slamming into the road. I heard the all windows breaking and the body of the Jeep crushing, screeching, screaming against the asphalt. When we landed on B-Fray’s side, I heard the sunroof cave in and I heard his head hit the pavement. I heard Mr. Man’s body slam into the steering wheel and into his door. I heard more than I felt myself slam into the door, and my window break above me, showering me with glass.

Most of all though, I could hear that neither boy was making a sound. They were dead silent and being tossed around like rag dolls in the front. That scared me. I was so, so terrified that they were unconscious, or worse, dead.

Suddenly, we stopped moving. Somehow, miraculously, we were right side up.

Part 2 tomorrow.

(img cred. That isn't Mr. Man's Jeep, but looks a lot like it used to.)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Broken Heart Story

I found this quote on teacups in peony's blog and I fell in love with it immediately. It's exactly how I feel about how Mr. Man and I's break up a few years ago. I don't know if you've ever had your heart broken by a boy, but I think we've all had our hearts broken by something, so maybe you'll enjoy this too:

"And maybe, just maybe, her heart needed to be broken. Broken and shattered and stomped into pieces. Then she could finally look down at the pieces, study each one and spend time getting to know the person she'd become. And when she finally had all the pieces back together again, a little crooked, a little jumbled but sealed firmly with love, she'd realized she was more beautiful than ever. Because this time, she would love herself."

-sigh.- True story. I know I'm a stronger person because I was broken hearted and alone for so long. What about y'all?

edit:// Apparently, I wasn't totally clear in this -- this is an old breakup, from before college. We've since gotten back together. :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Define "Road Trip"

Because, I'm not really sure how to define it.

Is it 100 miles? 500? Does it need to be an overnight trip? Does it need to be an actual vacation or does just going home from school count?

Because if it's 100 miles, I've done my road trip for 101 in 1001 a couple times over by now. College is more than 100 miles away from home! I visited The Cynical Optimist! What COUNTS?

This is a matter of life and death here, people!

Or, at least a matter of one more dollar I keep instead of donating to charity because I never crossed #3 off my list. HELP ME OUT, PLEASE.

What do you think constitutes a road trip?

Also, don't forget to tell me what you want to see!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Secret Telling Time!

Okay, maybe you guys haven't noticed that I've mentioned a few times that I've been keeping a family secret. And that it's making me anxious and happy and a whole other wealth of emotions I can't even begin to express.

But I have noticed! (Duh.)

Drum roll, please...

My family is moving to Colorado! :)

Okay, YOU may not think it's a huge deal, BUTIDO. We have lived in the same place for about 13 years now. It's boring.

It's going to be below 110 degrees F in the summer!

We're going to be near ski resorts. I love snowboarding!

We're going to be out of Republicanland Texas, which is great because if I have to be surrounded by diehard Republicans that cannot fathom the idea of hearing the other side of an issue any longer, I'm going to tear my hair out.

There's nothing wrong with Republicans. Honest. I lean Republican on some issues. It's Texan Republicans. Specifically Texan Republicans between the ages of 15 and 23 who only have those opinions because Mommy or Daddy told them to believe that.


Sorry. I used to be a lot more moderate. And I really wouldn't call myself a Democrat, because I don't agree with everything that party is for either. But for all those who said that traipsing off to Aggieland would make me a diehard conservative: hahawrongsuckers. If anything, attending TAMU has made me much more liberal, mostly because of aforementioned 15-23-year-olds who refuse to have an opinion that wasn't fed to them.

A-hem. Right. Colorado.

We're going to be near mountains where we can go hiking and fishing and snowboarding!

We may move into a cutesy little cabin!


I may get a Jeep (my little sports car + snow = BAD)!

This, by the way, TOTALLY counts for my #12. Because I'm not renting a cabin in the mountains to go snowboarding IF I OWN ONE. (And by "I," I definitely mean my parents.)

So, Colorado is where we're headed off to during my spring break. House-shopping and snowboarding and OH DID I MENTION THE BEING OUT OF TEXAS AND THE SNOWBOARDING?

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Weekend Whoop!

Because I'm on Spring Break, I feel really weird doing the Weekend Whoop post today because it's like... I have seven more days of weekend! But, alas, I shall press on. :)

Don't forget: Whoooop! = RED ASS AWESOME EVENTS.
Tsssss = Lame events that sound like things t-sips would do.

Friday: I decided to start my break off with a bang, apparently, because I got kicked out of my one and only class that day. I have never been kicked out of a class before in my life. Walked out, yes, a few times. But kicked out? Whoa. I met Mr. Man back home for a late lunch though, and we walked around the park and flew a Buzz Lightyear kite that we randomly found! It was awesome! I wish I had photos but I left my camera in the car and forgot. :( That evening, around sunset though, I decided to take Stella (my Rebel XSi) out because she hadn't gotten to play in a long time. We took a walk through a local park. :)
Saturday: That morning, my mom forced me into some spring cleaning, but that afternoon, I went to go hang out with Mr. Man. We got ice cream for lunch and then played with his fur-baby, Marley. And more pictures came out of that!
They wrestled. I watched. And laughed. :)
That last one is possibly my favorite picture of him of all time. Also, that's a shirt I gave him. I feel special knowing he wears it. :)

Sunday: More spring cleaning all morning, then another walk with Marley in the park that afternoon. Very relaxing. Mommy and I went shopping after I left Mr. Man's, and now I'm here. How was your weekend?

Don't forget -- go tell me what you want to see!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Show Us Your Life

Next to Heaven just did this, as are a few others, and I thought it was a cool idea. Basically, they're asking their readers what they might want to see about their life. For example: my desk in my room, what I keep in my purse, my ridiculously messy closet, my living room, my fairly empty pantry, my favorite place to hang out, a picture of something where I live, etc. etc.

So, what do YOU guys want to see? (Let's keep this PG-13, mmkay, pumpkins?)

And while you're at it: ask me anything!

Oh, and while you're at things, go check out my guest post on Raindrops on Roses! It's fun times, honest! :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A Little Something to Remember

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."
-- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

Monday, March 8, 2010

Weekend Whoop!

Join in, Aggie or not! (If you do, leave a link to your post in the comment section!)
Tsssss = Lame events that sound like things t-sips would do.

So, this weekend was pretty relaxing and full of shopping. It was wonderful. And it totally started on Thursday.

Thursday: After I got out of class at 5, I ran home, took a quick shower, got ready and dressed up super fast, and went for a Girl's Night Out to a cute local nice restaurant/bar and had a Dessert Night! Have you ever had one? It's where you go to a restaurant and just order desserts. It's pretty freaking fun! And delicious! Whoooop! After that though, I had to write a paper. :( tssssss!

(That's myself, Julie, and Stephanie.)

: Decided to have a Valorie-Only Night. Turned off my phone, read, wrote some, took a relaxing bath. Ended up going to sleep early. It was great. Whoooop!

Saturday: Woke up early, headed to the rec, then went to a coffee shop and wrote some more. My mom's good friend and her daughter were in town for a swim meet so I got to have lunch with them and go shopping for a few hours. Whoooop! After that, I hung out with the room mate and a few of our friends. We watched part of Snow White and The Incredibles and made homemade milkshakes that were stinking delicious. Whoooop! I got some really bad news that night though. Well, not so much bad news as I discovered that one of my ex-boyfriends who I really don't like nor want much of anything to do with still has my phone number and won't leave me alone, despite how many times I've threatened a restraining order if he ever contacts me again. Unfortunately, there's no easy way to block a number on the iPhone and I really don't feel like paying AT&T $10 a month to help me ignore his phone calls/texts.

Sunday: Got up early again (tsssss), did some homework and a Bible study, then went to Round Rock to meet my mom and go shopping. We shopped for like five hours and I got a new wallet at Coach (courtesy OF Coach: my last wallet ripped and they couldn't fix it, so they gave me $50 for a new one instead)! It was pretty darn cool. Whoooop! Came home, went to my Bible study meeting with the girls and just hung out and had fun. Whoooop! After that though? More homework. LAME!

And that was my weekend. How was yours? :)