Between the marriage post and every totally awkward post, I'm pretty sure you guys understand how weird my friends and I are. And what kinds of utter shenanigans we get into.
This, though, THIS is a whole different thing.
Recently, some of my friends demanded I become "Facebook Official" with Mr. Man.
When I say "demanded," I pretty much mean exactly that, actually. I was told it wasn't okay that I wasn't wearing one of his rings on a chain around my neck, and so I need to make our relationship more public because omg, what if someone doesn't realize I'm not single and like...hits on me?
One. The only ring that man wears is the one I gave him for our 1.5 year anniversary. The one that matches the one I wear every day. It seems super redundant for me to be wearing two of the same ring and him nothing. Kthanksbye.
Two. WHAT THE WHAT IS THIS WEIRD TEXAS A&M MENTALITY? I swear. Because this isn't just my weird friends, I promise. Only in College Station does it mean that if you're not talking about your boyfriend/girlfriend 24/7 or basically have his/her name tattooed on your forehead, that means you're cheating. What is this obsession with being in a relationship and getting married? There's this whole cult belief here that if you don't graduate with two rings, you have somehow failed.
So. The logic was that if we don't make it Facebook Official (yes, capital F, capital O), we were going to cheat on each other. Obviously.
What? How exactly is having "In a Relationship With..." on my FACEBOOK FORCRYINGOUTLOUD going to stop other people from flirting with me? Are they going to ask to friend me, check my status, then decide "should I ask this girl to dance?" Like, REALLY? And how is a little clickylink going to stop me from cheating? I mean, Mr. Man is 100+ miles away. If I really wanted to cheat on him, I could, and he'd never have to know.
Don't worry, Mr. Man, I'm not going to cheat on you. :)
Yet, even urbandictionary has defined it as "the ultimate definition of a college relationship." And you know if it's on urbdic, that shit's real. ...SERIOUSLY?! STOP TAKING OVER MY LIFE, FACEBOOK.
I mean, he and I know we're committed to each other and each other only. Isn't that enough?
Lesson Learned: Aggies are not well-equipped for life outside of Aggieland.