Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Post-It Note Post

Since Tova, the host of Totally Awkward Tuesday, seems to be taking a hiatus, and I'm not feeling Tribute Tuesday today, I welcome you to Post-It Note Tuesday! (Tuesday is quite the day for blog memes, huh?)

Are y'all excited!? I am!





What will you post?
Oh, also, check out my vlog and let me know what you think. I can't decide if I want to continue doing that or not! Love y'all!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Pet Peeves

We all have pet peeves right? My biggest one used to be people that use their turn signal in the turn-only lane -- no DUH you're turning. Thanks and gig'em.

I've realized lately though that my biggest pet peeve, the only that really eats away at me and rips up my soul a little, has changed to something slightly more rational.

Commit: verb -- to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; to entrust, esp. for safekeeping; to do; perform.

When people commit to something and say "Yes, I'll do that," or "Yes, I'll be there," I think it's pretty natural for people to assume that they will in fact do that thing or be at that place. Maybe I'm misguided here, but that's what I always thought.

So, when people commit to things then back out of them, it annoys me slightly. But if they have a good reason, I tend to understand.

But, when we start getting to people who commit to something, anything, and then blow you off without warning or at least an apology, that's when I get really annoyed. It's like helloooo, I said 1:00 because I had other things to do. I sort of planned things around our committed time. I really didn't want to sit around for an hour, doing nothing wondering if you were going to show up.

That's my pet peeve. I start getting mad when this is a frequent occurrence; when I can't count on your commitment. When I wonder why the hell you committed to anything in the first place.

What's your biggest pet peeve?


[img cred: http://www.heitmuller.com/blogimages/hairpull.jpg]

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Vlog?



Will this be my number #50 from my list of 101 in 1001? Who knows, we'll see. Let me know how y'all feel about it, please. Comments, concerns, complaints, etc. :]

Oh, and I mentioned one Ben Hughes in my video, here are links to figure out who he is:
http://obviouslybenhughes.com
twitter.com/mustbebenhughes
Check him out, he's pretty cool!

And if you don't follow me on Twitter, you should. Have a good day everyone! :]

1066: The Year of Conquest

Okay, so I'm such a nerd that I actually enjoy reading textbooks. And you know what? I'm PROUD of that.

But, this is one y'all should read too if you have even the least bit of interest in English history -- kings, queens, court intrigue, wars, etc.

It technically isn't a textbook, though my English History class is using it as one. It's a tiny little book (think 4 by 7 inches) of 201 pages that is so interesting I finished it in two days. It's called 1066: The Year of Conquest (but you could have guessed that from the title of this entry) by David Howarth. He's funny, bluntly honest about the messier, lustful, dangerous, and hilarious parts of history, and makes it interesting. It isn't all memorizing dates (because it happens all in one year) or locations, and he delves into how people actually acted in 1066. People in this book have a personality and you'll find yourself passionately hating some and falling in love with others. You'll hardly remember you're learning anything.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday Tribute

As most of you know, this summer was full of trips, big and little alike, but today I'd like to pay tribute to the three guys I randomly met on a train from Munich to Prague.

See, here's the thing: That day had been miserable. It was cold and rainy, we'd been on trains since 8 am, and after 4 days straight of the same people, it was possible I was going to scream.

Then, when I stumbled into this compartment in the train and met these three boys from Rice University (it's in Houston) it was awesome, to put it simply. Finally, someone who understood what JIBA meant or "Martel is not a college!" (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go ask Cyndi.) I could talk to people who not only didn't know my life story, but were in college and knew the Houston and Dallas areas well enough for us to chat about them and about life. We could make jokes, talk about surgeries we did or didn't have (aka: Prove how gullible Mahdis and I are), and enjoy free-flowing conversation that didn't have to be interrupted by flipping through an English-Czech translation dictionary or pausing to remember just how to say bathroom in French.

So, here's to you boys. Thank you for speaking English and knowing what in the world N.O.D. is. I hope you enjoyed Prague, and the rest of your backpacking trip went well. I'm sure you're all kicking butt in medical school. Try not to have too much fun. :]

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Top 5 Reasons

...Why I (sometimes) wish I was male.

1. Boys fight with their fists, not via rumors and backstabbings. It would be awesome to just punch a girl in the face and have it be over with, but it doesn't work like that.

2. Shave...or don't. It doesn't really matter, and no one really cares either way. People care if a girl doesn't shave often enough.

3. Travel around Europe (or anywhere, really) alone, with little worry over safety. Seems like girls can't go anywhere alone these days (even the bathroom).

4. Not riding an emotional roller coaster, not feeling crappy/bloated/sick, and not getting cramps once a month? Sign me up.

5. And, big number five, boys aren't judged if they're single, nor are they judged for having flings. They can be a bachelor all their life, and it's okay, but God forbid a girl be single for more than a week. And what if she just dates instead of being in a serious relationship? What. A. Whore. And she's clearly got something wrong with her if she's not married by 25. Clearly.

Lost and Confused

Yesterday, I tweeted, "This place feels unfamiliar. My life feels unfamiliar."

It was the most bizarre feeling. I was laying in bed, the same bed I've had for five weeks, staring up at the ceiling, the same ceiling I've laid under for five weeks, and I had no idea where or even when I was. Mostly, I had absolutely no idea who I was.

All I could think was, "How on earth did I get here?"

I'm still wondering.



Thursday, September 17, 2009

Writer's Workshop: If Pets Could Talk

Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It does this every Tuesday/Thursday and I thought I'd jump in this week. The basic idea is to write on a prompt or two , post it on Thursday (today), then read other inspired posts! Simple? I think so. Fun? Of course.

I, because I don't know how to shut up, am writing on two prompts. Raise your hand if you're surprised. That's what I thought. Now let's get to it. :]

If your pet could talk, what would you want to know?
Uhm, A LOT. Do animals have religions or anything sort of belief in an after-life? Can animals communicate across species? As in: cat to fish, lion to gazelle, etc. If so, do predators warn their pray that they're about to die? Do they apologize? To my cat: Do you REALLY have nine lives? How do you feel about the fact that I'm pretty sure you're down to about 6 now? To my dog: What on earth is fun about fetch? Honestly. What did the guy that broke into our house that time when I was like 12 look like?

If you could only focus on three things in life and pursue them fully, leaving everything else, what would they be and why?
The title of this blog -- Life, Liberty, and Happiness. Life defined in this sense as a family -- finding someone to love and have kids with someday. Liberty: Devote my time to a group like International Justice Missions and free slaves around the world. Happiness: Writing. I would devote any time that wasn't spent on my kids and with IJM writing for the rest of my life. :]

How would you reply to these questions?



Also -- a little shout out to my cousin Jackie. Today is her 24th birthday! :]

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hindu dharma - The Law of Manu

This is something I found while completing an assignment for my world history class. It's basically about the role of women in Hindu society. It's called The Law of Manu and evolved around 200 CE as a direct descendant of the caste system (which probably started around 1000 BCE).

//

By a girl, by a young woman, or even by an aged one, nothing must be done independently, even in her own house.

In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent.

She must not seek to separate herself from her father, husband, or sons; by leaving them she would make both (her own and her husband's) families contemptible.

She must always be cheerful, clever in (the management of her) household affairs, careful in cleaning her utensils, and economical in expenditure.

Him to whom her father may give her, or her brot
her with the father's permission, she shall obey as long as he lives, and when he is dead, she must not insult (his memory).

For the sake of procuring good fortune to (brides), the recitation of benedictory texts and the sacrifice to the Lord of creatures are used at weddings; (but) the betrothal (by the father or guardian) is the cause of (the husband's) dominion (over his wife).

The husband who wedded her with sacred texts, always gives happiness to his wife, both in season and out of season, in this world and in the n
ext.

Though destitute of virtue, or seeking pleasure (elsewhere), or devoid of good qualities (yet) a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god by a faithful wife.

No sacrifice, no vow, no fast must be performed by women apart (from their husbands); if a wife obeys her husband, she will for that (reason alone) be exalted in heaven.

A faithful wife, who desires to dwell (after death) with her husband, must never do anything that might displease him who took her hand, whether he be alive or dead.

At her pleasure let her emaciate her body by (living on) pure flowers, roots, and fruit; but she must never even mention the name of another man after her husband has died.

Until death let her be patient (of hardships), self-controlled, and chaste, and strive (to fulfil) that most excellent duty which (is prescribed) for wives who have one husband only.

Many thousands of Brâhmanas who were chaste from their youth, have gone to heaven without continuing their race.


A virtuous wife who after the death of her husband constantly remains chaste, reaches heaven, though she have no son, just like those chaste men.

But a woman who from a desire to have offspring violates her duty towards her (deceased) husband, brings on herself disgrace in this world, and loses her place with her husband (in heaven).

Offspring begotten by another man is here not (
considered lawful), nor (does offspring begotten) on another man's wife (belong to the begetter), nor is a second husband anywhere prescribed for virtuous women.

She who cohabits with a man of higher caste, forsaking her own husband who belongs to a lower one, will become contemptible in this world, and is called a remarried woman.

By violating her duty towards her husband, a wife is disgraced in this world, (after death) she enters the womb of a jackal, and is tormented by diseases (the punishment of) her sin.

She who, controlling her thoughts, words, and
deeds, never slights her lord, resides (after death) with her husband (in heaven), and is called a virtuous (wife).

In reward of such conduct, a female who controls her thoughts, speech, and actions, gains in this (life) highest renown, and in the next (world) a place near her husband.

//

The Law of Manu is right! Makes you grateful we live in a time and place where a woman can assert herself and actually do something other than cook and clean if she so desires, huh?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Facts

Fact: Today has been a crazy busy day. Classes 9-5, Phi Lamb meeting, Chinese homework, PoliSci reading, Econ quiz, History of England reading... AHHH! It's not over yet!?

Fact: I was chosen to be a Phi Lamb small group leader! Meaning I get to bond with a bunch of pledges and get them plugged in with Phi Lamb! I'm so excited!

Fact: The following updates for 101 in 1001 have happened today:
36. Do 15 push-ups a night for two months. -- Started tonight! 9.14.09
69. Spend at least six months single -- I've decided that between feeling like Summer Finn and being single anyways, I pretty much started this one already. Official beginning date: 09.09.09 [Also... I find it ironic that this is number 69. Okay...maybe one of the 101 in 1001 things should have been get mind out of the gutter.)
91. I donated 300 more grains of rice! 500/1,000,000

Fact: I want to go to Houston this weekend, but I realized about five minutes ago that I have two tests next week, so that may not happen. (Sorry, The Cynical Optimist.)

Fact: I tweet too much.

Fact: I kind of feel like Rachel from if it's a hero that you want posting this. But I wanted to post and this seemed efficient. Sorry if it feels like I'm stealing from you. :(

Fact: I have an interview for Phi Lamb tomorrow about becoming a covenant group leader. It's a lot like small group, but longer, a little more responsibility, and with actives and pledges. Wish me luck?!

Fact: I love coffee. :]

Fact: I'm obsessed with tags/labels on blog posts.

Fact: I don't think I've gotten enough sleep in a long time.

What are some facts about your life these days?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Potential Puppy Playmate?

Updates to my 101 in 1001 list:
61. Go one year without swearing. ...Failed. Restarted on 09.13.09. :(
83. Watch 100 new movies (2/100) Saw Nine on 9.10.09 It was good -- go see it if there's nothing else you're dying to see.

So, I may be adopting a puppy from my friend Stephanie in about two months, after they're born and have had time with their mommy and stuff. That's the mom to the left, back when she was a puppy. (That photo is my friend Stephanie's -- do not use it without permission.) It's definitely not a hundred percent positive (it's not even 50% positive) because of how much it's going to cost. Our apartment complex costs a surprisingly large amount of money to get a pet -- like $350 or so. It's kind of ridiculous.

Also, I'd have to train it. I know one of the things on my list is raise a puppy for Aggie Guide Dogs, but I'm not trained in training dogs yet. So that worries me.

BUT. I want a dog. Really bad. Like... I can't even explain to you how bad. The companionship, the loyalty, the bond. Plus, I want to prove to myself (and a little to my parents) that I'm mature enough to not only take care of myself, but to take care of something else too. But, if I want that, I could just bring home my very beautiful dog from back home, Precious. But she's never been kenneled and she's used to running around outside. And we don't have a big outside for her to run around at. And since she's been mostly an outdoor dog her whole life, I'm honestly not sure she's housebroken. I think she is, but I'm definitely not 100%.

Also, the apartment allows us to have two dogs. So I could potentially get this one and one for Aggie Guide Dogs. But, I don't know how AGD would feel about that, or the room mate for that matter (we've discussed this -- she says one is okay with her). And two puppies just seems like so much to handle, you know?

I don't know. What do you guys think?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

101 in 1001


So, the mission: Complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days. The tasks must be quantifiable, with a clear definition and end. They also have to be a stretch, nothing too easy (like blink 100 times in a day). They have to represent some effort on your part. Do YOU accept?


Start date: 09/09/09

Finish date: 06/07/12


Not Yet Started
In Progress
Completed


Travel (0/13)
1 Go to China

2 See Boston again

3 Take a road trip

4 See Niagara Falls

5 Go to New Orleans

6 Go to Brazil

7 Go to Canada

8 Go to Seattle

9 Visit Travis in Lubbock

10 Go on a Mission Trip

11 Take a spontaneous day trip

12 Rent a cabin in the mountains and go snowboarding

13 Go fishing


Job/Education (0/12)
14 Study abroad

15 Become fluent in Chinese
16 Take the LSAT

17 Take a fun class, just for kicks

18 French 101
19 Apply to work at Sky Ranch/another Christian camp
20 Intern with the government

21 Learn to play at least one song on the guitar

22 Sell at least $300 in MK products at one party

23 Lead a Bible study

24 Apply for graduate school

25 Finish the list of 50 banned books (18/50)


Health/Wellness (0/20)
26 Lose 10 pounds
27 Go one week without cheese
28 Spend one week as a vegan

29 Drink only water for one month

30 Start and finish out a yoga class

31 Workout five times a week for six weeks

32 Go for a walk 20 times

33 Give up coffee for 2 weeks (separate from #29)

34 Do 100 sit-ups, 3 times a week, for six weeks

35 Donate blood once a month for a year (I’m O-, I have to!)

36 Do 15 pushups a night for two months

37 Do 20 pushups a night for two months

38 Do 25 pushups a night for two months
39 Master a basic jump in snowboarding

40 Play tennis once

41 1/2 marathon

42 Bike everywhere for a week

43 Go kayaking

44 Try skiing

45 Eat ice cream and don’t feel guilty afterward


Blog (0/4)
46 Get a blog makeover
47 Blog every day for one month

48 Meet a blog friend in real life

49 Start a fun/interesting blog meme


Writing/Photography/Hobbies (0/6)
50 Start a new hobby
51 Write every day for a month

52 Finish a story!
53 Enter a photography contest

54 Buy a Canon EOS Rebel XSi...or better.

55 Complete a Wreck This Journal


Personal/Random. (0/37)

56 Donate to Pantene Pro-V Beautiful Lengths

57 See Blink-182 in concert

58 See Jason Mraz in concert

59 Call Mom every day for a month

60 Cook a fancy meal

61 Go one year without swearing started 09/10/09

62 Attend a music festival

63 Attend an art festival

64 Go horseback riding

65 Go on a picnic

66 Say yes to all requests for a week (within reason)

67 Suck it up and get my eyebrows waxed

68 Get at least one tattoo

69 Spend at least six months single

70 Abstain from all electronics for an entire day
71 Send off one friend (of many) joining the military

72 Raise a puppy for Aggie Guide Dogs
73 Volunteer at an elementary school

74 Plant a mini-garden on the balcony.
75 Plant a tree

76 Get a bike

77 Go one week without making a list

78 Watch the sunrise with someone important
79 Spend an entire day silent.

80 Sing karaoke.

81 Buy something at a flea market

82 Send 5 secrets to Post Secret (0/5)

83 Watch 100 new movies (1/100) -- Saw The Time Traveler's Wife 09/09/09

84 Listen to 30 songs produced before 1990 (Beatles don’t count) (0/30)

85 Write my future self a letter via (futureme.org)

86 Watch the sunset

87 Read a new verse in the Bible every day for a month

88 Sit by a window in a café on a busy street and people-watch for a whole day

89 Buy another pair of TOMS

90 Start and finish an Ayn Rand book

91 Donate 1,000,000 grains of rice on freerice.com (200/1,000,000)

92 Take pictures in a photobooth

93 On the last day, read my letter from #85


Grown-up things (0/8)

94 Pay rent early every month for a year

95 Write my will

96 Buy more professional clothes

97 Buy nothing but food for three weeks

98 Pay off loan

99 Learn how to cook Thanksgiving dinner from start to finish

100 Try 20 new recipes

101 Donate $150 to a non-profit


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hello, my name is Summer Finn

Someone told me they think the writers of (500) Days of Summer stalked me and based Summer Finn off of me.

[For those of you that haven't seen the movie, this post will make no sense to you. So, go see (500) Days, then come back and read this. Also, it will contain spoilers and I don't want to ruin the greatest movie of all time for you.]

See, there's a scene in the movie where McKenzie (Geoffery Arend), Summer (Zooey Deschanel), and Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) are in a bar, and McKenzie asks Summer if she has a boyfriend. She says no, she doesn't want one. A humorous moment passes as McKenzie asks if she's a lesbian until Summer explains herself -- "I like being on my own. Relationships are messy, people's feelings get hurt. We're young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, why don't we just have fun and save the serious stuff for later?" (I may have misquoted that -- it's been over a week since I saw the movie.)

Now, College Station may not be one of the most beautiful cities in the world by most standards (though I love it), but I can see where my friend was going. That first sentence, I like being on my own, was part of why Kevin and I broke up -- I'm independent and don't like committing my time to anyone or anything. I like being able to do spur-of-the-moment things without owing anyone something, and that wasn't fair to him. And the people's feelings get hurt part? Yeah, too true, and more times than not it wasn't worth it. I've been in my share of relationships, but life always got in the way. For instance, I'm going to China soon, and I'll be there a long time -- now isn't exactly a great time for me to be getting too attached to anyone. That's just how life is these days.

So maybe I am like Summer Finn. I think I'm okay with that though. For now I'm willing to just be friends and have fun, and maybe someday I can wake up and realize what I've never been sure of up until now.

I'll leave you with one last quote from Summer and Tom:

Tom: So what happened, why didn't things work out?
Summer: What always happens;
life.



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Discovered

I discovered this quote on that one tumblr I used to have. (Oops.)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘how very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

Neil Gaiman (that's him in the photo...if you couldn't guess.)

Monday, September 7, 2009

My First Blog Award!

I'm so happy! (Wow, what a difference from yesterday, huh?) I'm thrilled to have been given the Kreativ Blogger award by La Adventurista. Thanks! :]

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (done!)
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. (win!)
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award. (done!)
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might not know. (done!)
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers. (success!)
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate. (done!)
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated. (on my way... :])

Seven things you probably don't know about me:
1. I'm pretty compulsive about scheduling everything in my planner, even blogging time.
2. I would happily live off mashed potatoes for the rest of my life.
3. I love hand written letters.
4. I love reading! (I've got about 4 books going right now...!)
5. Photography is pretty much my best friend. I'm currently saving up for this camera.
6. I detest hanging up/folding my clothes. It's such a hassle.
7. I love shoes, but I much prefer being barefoot.

My 7 Kreativ Bloggers: (I tried to pick people who hadn't won before -- sorry if there are repeats!)
1. Rachel @ If It's A Hero That You Want, I Can Save You
2. Cyndi @ Forever And A Day, One Day At A Time
3. parentingBYdummies
4. Kevin @ Blue Daze
5. Kassie @ The Girly Gallivanter
6. Kassie @ Dreaming Defines Me
7. David @ The Rest Is Still Unwritten

Thanks and gig 'em! :]

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Am I or Am I Not?

Tonight, I'm irritated. And kind of offended. And kind of ready to punch people in the face.

See, here was my plan for tonight: one of my good friends from high school is in town. I got some people together, we were all going out dancing after the football game, it was going to be a good time. Then, if we weren't exhausted by two or three, maybe everyone would go home so she and I could hang or we'd all hang out and watch movies together.

Instead, no one showed up at the time agreed upon, which was a good two hours after the game ended. They asked us to wait for them, so while we did, I cooked for roomate and high school friend because we were all hungry. They didn't even have to ask, it was just done. Then, when we did go out, the place we went was totally dead, so we left before midnight, went to the apartment, and watched a movie. They all asked me to cook for them, so I did. Room mate asked me to do the dishes, so I did. They then ate all the food I made without leaving any for me.

I did all this instead of hanging out with the friend from high school, partially because she was saving her stupid drunk room from arrest (which I know was totally out of anyone's control, except maybe stupid drunk room mate), and partially because even when she got back, I was still in the kitchen.

I didn't complain about any of this. I was obviously (to myself) extremely angry, but I didn't say anything except to my friend Kassie, and not even until she was leaving and we were alone outside because, oh, by the way, I had to take the trash out too because my room mate
wouldn't. This was after she had been insinuating (aka: saying directly) all night that I never clean the apartment or do anything, which is total bullshit. I clean just as much, if not more, than she does, mostly because I KNOW mess bothers her -- I'm a naturally messy person, but out of respect for her, I keep it clean. Also: Who stayed home from the football game and cleaned the whole apartment for aforementioned high school friend? Oh right, me. The only reasons the dishes weren't done was because our water was shut off for maintenance for a while, which she knew. Who cooked before going out? Oh, me. Who didn't get to hang out with her friend that lives four hours away? Oh, me.

Who asks all our friends to do the dishes all the time? Oh, her. Who sent someone out to get her jacket from the car instead of doing it herself? Oh, her. Who was texting all her guy friends asking them to come bring her food, even though she hadn't invited them to hang out earlier? Oh, her. Who made me cook instead of just doing it for herself when they wouldn't bring her food? Oh, her. Who then neither thanked me nor left me any food after I cooked it? Oh, her.

And yet, somehow I, the one basically waiting on them all night, was getting called high maintenance and demanding. Yes, this makes perfect sense. Obviously.

Valorie
Sent from my iPhone

Saturday, September 5, 2009

On Breaking Up, Part 2

Remember about two months ago when I posted something about break ups, wondering why they have to be so cruel? I've now gone through another break up since then and wanted to follow up on my previous thoughts.

Quick synopsis in case you're too lazy to go read the full post: I was saying that I didn't understand why breakups have to be mean, why people feel a need to hurt each other in them. "I mean, if two people were together, there was a reason. There was something about each other that they liked and the fact is that that part of them doesn’t go away or change just because they go their separate ways."

The entire reason I'm posting this is not because Kevin and I ended badly. Quite the opposite, in fact. Our break up, which was mutual and entirely peaceful, entirely reaffirmed my belief that people can be friends after a breakup, even when they're older. I realized after On Breaking Up, Part 1, that my main example of a close friend after a break up was my best friend Travis -- but we dated in high school, when relationships are less serious, and it made me wonder if age had some factor in it. As in, is it harder to move on if you (whether or not you consciously realized it) were taking this relationship more seriously, thinking that now that you're in college (or beyond), this could be the person you're going to marry? And if so, does that make it more okay to be mean to one another?

Kevin and I weren't considering getting married, let's get that straight now, but we still could have been rude, we could have been cruel, we could have gotten angry and done really mean things to each other through it. But we didn't, and we didn't see the point in doing it. We knew we had been together for a reason, and that reason didn't change -- our proximity to each other did. (It was the distance that did us in. Sad days, huh?) On my last post on this subject, Judi said "I'm of the opinion that there's really nothing wrong with getting angry. Anger provides us information and sometimes direction. It can help us transition through change to get where we need to go. That being said, what we DO with anger can be a major problem, of course." I don't think I could have said it better (which is why I quoted her).

I've asked this once before, but I'll ask it again: What is it about break ups do you think makes people treat each other like crap? Are there any significant factors in why some people stay friends and some people can't do that?

You guys know this, but I should say it anyways: That photo is not mine, it's from the poster for the movie The Break Up, which if you haven't seen that you NEED to. :]