Wednesday, November 23, 2011



This year, I'm thankful for: 

Surviving the terrible wreck I was in yesterday on my way home.
Friends that I can call and will drop everything to come help me.
A wonderful family that I get to go see in just a few short hours. 
Knowing that soon I'll be a college graduate and have my whole life ahead of me.
And a supportive boyfriend to see me through all of it. 

What are you thankful for this year? 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Fill in the ____ & Friday Internet Favorites

 Yay! Head over to Lauren's blog to join in on all the fill in the blank fun. :)
1.   A nervous habit I have is    chewing on my lips and blushing. And as soon as I realize I'm blushing, I blush harder. It's awful  .

2.   Something that makes me sad is   writing about how children who get trafficked are 71% more likely to commit suicide than the general population... Thanks, thesis     .

3.  Today I am thankful for    no classes, free pizza for dinner tonight, and that only two more days of class stand between me and time with family  .

4. My favorite room in my house is    my bathroom. I know that's weird, but it's decorated with a very French/Paris theme, and that makes my heart so happy  .

5.  I can't stand   people who don't "believe in" mental health disorders (what?), rape jokes, people who have made it to college but don't know the difference between your/you're and or there/their/they're, and people who don't use Oxford commas .

6.  If I had an extra $100 to spend on whatever I wanted today I would   probably spend it on something for the boyfriend. He's been a wonderful person to have around for the last few weeks as I've gone crazy writing my thesis, and he deserves some reward .

7.  The last person I hung out with was    Amy. We went out for drinks last night and then I joined a few others friends and the boyfriend for dinner and more drinks
My favorite thing on the internet right now is Pinterest. Frankly, it's kind of the only thing that helps me keep my sanity throughout my thesis. If you're on Pinterest, follow me and leave a comment - I'd love to see what you're pinning! 

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My thesis is killing me. This is the end. GOODBYE FOREVER.

 {This is a photo I took in China. That's about all it has to do with anything I wrote about in this post, except they kind of look like they're screaming and amen to that. Also, please don't steal it, unless your thing has to do with screaming at things in Chinese, except please still give me credit and tell me about it because that would be hilarious. Also, longest credit line ever. Also, also.}

In case you missed it (how? it's basically all I tweet, blog, and talk about these days), I'm writing a very in-depth thesis as an undergrad AND IT SUCKS.

Picking a topic WHAT?
Original research WHAT?
Making up policies that might actually work WHAT?

My thesis is about human trafficking. More specifically, my thesis argues that domestic [see: not international] trafficking of women and children for the commercial sex trade in China is a drain on China's biggest resource (spoiler: it's people), because it takes them out of the labor force, compromises their health, causes emotional and physical scars that last a lifetime without treatment, and is generally harmful to China's legitimate economy and the health of the overall population. I'm trying to argue that without specific economic and social policy changes, this problem will worsen and lead to bigger problems for China down the road, i.e. an HIV/AIDS epidemic and the slowing down of economic growth (and anger/resentment from a growing segment of its population that China is doing pretty much nothing to help right now, which will be another catalyst to the already swirling growth of frustration with the Communist Party).


Here's where this becomes a problem for me: That is depressing as hell topic. 

Okay, I get that that sounds petty. These women are being held as sex slaves and I'm concerned that every time I read their stories while sitting in Starbucks I want to cry and that's embarrassing?

Fine, I'm going to Hell.

But still. It's depressing, and devoting my entire semester to this research is making me want to pull my hair out. Because China is all 'Psssh, human trafficking? Forced into sexual service? Nope, those ladies be PROSTITUTES! Jail tiiiiime!" and I'm all "Noooo! Stoooop iiiiit! They need psychological treatment, not to work in a labor camp!"

And also? I have to write ~20% of this thesis in Chinese. I mean, let's talk about how Chinese is a crazy hard language and I don't know it (even after studying it for three years). So I'm spending about 50% of the time I work on this thesis just researching how to perfectly translate everything because, and I'm not exaggerating, the syllable xi can mean about 80 different things. How can you have one word that can alternately mean 'footpath,' 'west,' 'happiness,' and 'rhinoceros?' THOSE AREN'T EVEN KIND OF RELATED.


So basically, this is the end. I'm dying from crazy brain explosions in Chinese, or something. GOODBYE FOREVER.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday Internet Favorites and Fill in the ______.

 I love Fill in the Blank Friday! Head over to Lauren's blog and join in!
1.   My favorite new blog of the moment is    Young People in Love   .

2.   Something I am thankful for is   Thanksgiving being right around the corner     .

3.  Something that made me laugh this week was   see my Friday Favorites next :)   .

4. An item that is currently on my wish list is    everything on my Dress Me Up pinterest board   .

5.  I am excited about    Rock the Republic this weekend .

6.  If I were a color I would be   green, it's happy without being obnoxious .

7.  My favorite way to spend a chilly fall day is by   bundled up in a scarf, big jacket, and a blanket if I'm at home .

I know last time I said I wasn't sure I would do this every time, but I kind of like the idea of Friday Favorites. What do you guys think?

Here are some of my favorite things on the internet these days:
  • Joseph-Gordon Levitt covers R. Kelly's Ignition: Remix.

And that's it! Everyone have a great weekend. I'll be at my second Rock the Republic festival with Maroon Weely, taking pictures of musicians, poets, and comedians and generally wondering why I want to move out of College Station.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

remember that one time I was mess? here's why, and how I'm okay now.


About this time last year, I posted a few emails my friend and I exchanged. Partly because she is one of the best writers ever and I couldn't have summed up what she said any better than how she said it, but also because I was too tired, too sad, too heartbroken to write something down myself. I felt dried out, and empty, and utterly just shattered.

The pieces of my life were sitting there on the ground, and I didn't have the energy to pick them up.

And so I let my friends pick them up for me. Cyndi gave me energy to breathe deeply again and get out of bed. That was probably the biggest thing I needed. The sweet comments left on that aforementioned post helped me clear my mind and see that I would be okay again, someday. Another friend reminded me how to laugh, one reminded me to focus on myself and my hobbies. Eventually, I could write a post about taking a mental health day, and in December I was able joke a little and make a list of nouns I refused to put up with from men in the future (which is still true). Eventually I was able to write one of my favorite posts ever, love, loss, hope, repeat. I was fortunate and the next guy I started dating (and am still dating) passes the nouns test, and is also just a generally good person.

So I guess what I'm saying is that even though that was a painful time, I'm glad I went through it. I'm different because of it, but in a good way. I've stopped dating assholes, and I've learned to take my time when falling in love. And I've learned that my pride/personality/life is mine and even when some guy cheats on me but actually doesn't because he's only pretending he's single but actually has a girlfriend that is studying abroad and you catch them together when she comes back to Texas during her European fall break to surprise him (deep breath) that doesn't change who I am. It doesn't make me less of a bad person that I fell in love with him, even if maybe it does show that I didn't always have the greatest taste in men.

It hurt my pride, but at the end of the day, I'm okay. Hell, I'm better than okay. And so this is a thank you to those that stood by me, to those that encouraged me, and to those that turn their nose up at him when they see him at the only supermarket in town.