My thesis is killing me. This is the end. GOODBYE FOREVER.

 {This is a photo I took in China. That's about all it has to do with anything I wrote about in this post, except they kind of look like they're screaming and amen to that. Also, please don't steal it, unless your thing has to do with screaming at things in Chinese, except please still give me credit and tell me about it because that would be hilarious. Also, longest credit line ever. Also, also.}

In case you missed it (how? it's basically all I tweet, blog, and talk about these days), I'm writing a very in-depth thesis as an undergrad AND IT SUCKS.

Picking a topic WHAT?
Original research WHAT?
Making up policies that might actually work WHAT?

My thesis is about human trafficking. More specifically, my thesis argues that domestic [see: not international] trafficking of women and children for the commercial sex trade in China is a drain on China's biggest resource (spoiler: it's people), because it takes them out of the labor force, compromises their health, causes emotional and physical scars that last a lifetime without treatment, and is generally harmful to China's legitimate economy and the health of the overall population. I'm trying to argue that without specific economic and social policy changes, this problem will worsen and lead to bigger problems for China down the road, i.e. an HIV/AIDS epidemic and the slowing down of economic growth (and anger/resentment from a growing segment of its population that China is doing pretty much nothing to help right now, which will be another catalyst to the already swirling growth of frustration with the Communist Party).


Whew. 

Here's where this becomes a problem for me: That is depressing as hell topic. 

Okay, I get that that sounds petty. These women are being held as sex slaves and I'm concerned that every time I read their stories while sitting in Starbucks I want to cry and that's embarrassing?

Fine, I'm going to Hell.

But still. It's depressing, and devoting my entire semester to this research is making me want to pull my hair out. Because China is all 'Psssh, human trafficking? Forced into sexual service? Nope, those ladies be PROSTITUTES! Jail tiiiiime!" and I'm all "Noooo! Stoooop iiiiit! They need psychological treatment, not to work in a labor camp!"

And also? I have to write ~20% of this thesis in Chinese. I mean, let's talk about how Chinese is a crazy hard language and I don't know it (even after studying it for three years). So I'm spending about 50% of the time I work on this thesis just researching how to perfectly translate everything because, and I'm not exaggerating, the syllable xi can mean about 80 different things. How can you have one word that can alternately mean 'footpath,' 'west,' 'happiness,' and 'rhinoceros?' THOSE AREN'T EVEN KIND OF RELATED.

HOW DO YOU EVER LEARN A LANGUAGE WHEN ONE SINGLE SOUND CAN MEAN 80 DIFFERENT WORDS WHICH OFTEN HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER? I JUST I CAN'T WHAT WHY *BRAIN EXPLOSION*

So basically, this is the end. I'm dying from crazy brain explosions in Chinese, or something. GOODBYE FOREVER.