Tuesday, January 4, 2011

In Which I Manage to Bitch About Both Willow Smith and Shitty Nicknames in the Same Post (Impressive, really.)

I'm one of those people that has like a thousand nicknames. I'll respond to pretty much anything. Valorina. Valorayray. Rie. Rie-rie. ValPal. The list goes on and on. But the nickname "Val," is kind of like nails on a chalkboard to me. No, actually, it's the sound that makes me want to punch babies.
It's kind of like that song "Whip My Hair" or whatever the fuck it's called by Willow Smith, which is the song that makes me homicidal. I mean, really Will Smith? You allowed your daughter to come out with this crap?


Please tell me that song makes your ears bleed.

Hearing someone call me "Val" makes my ears bleed too. It also really makes me wonder what he or she has been doing the 28484029 times I've mentioned that Val is a MAN'S name and last I checked I have a vagina, thanks.

So, you know, stop calling me Val, or I'll be forced to tie you to a chair and make you listen to I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH on repeat until your brains melt into a useless mess, like Will Smith's obviously has.


  1. Soooooo...can we still be friends if I have an inexplicable love for Willow Smith and WHIP MY HAIRRR?



  2. I like that Will Smith let her do that. He and Jada Pinkett are just letting their children pursue whatever avenue of creativity pleases them and it helps that they have tons of money with which to fund that. I mean, if I were Will Smith's kid, I'd be visiting every major museum in the nation because I like to learn and they support whatever makes their kids happy.

    Also, she learned Mandarin Chinese in China while her brother was filming The Karate Kid, so she definitely has an intellectual side to her.

  3. I am fortunate enough to have not heard that song. Sounds like I don't want to.

    For some reason, everyone seems to shorten your name up here in the northeast. It is strange, really. Some names that shouldn't be shortened.. it's weird and since I've been here, I've become Jen. I am okay with that, but for 27 years, I was always Jennifer and not many people ever attempted to call me anything else. I feel about "Jenny" the same way you feel about "Val". It irks me.

  4. sooooo i have been on this cite since i discovered it


    seriously, i think after this post about names, you should check it out :)


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