Monday, October 1, 2012

emotional upheavals, re-prioritizing, and a promise of return.

It's been a Tough Couple Months, guys.

Putting that in writing - capitalized, at that! - made me realize how true it was. How true it is. Seeing that here, in the Compose a Post screen made it real, more than I cared to admit up until now. Admitting it is both the hardest and most relaxing thing I've done in the past few months.

Because, here's the thing: It hasn't all been bad, though there's been more bad than good during these Tough Couple Months. It's just been one emotional upheaval over another. There's been the realization that several members of my family are aging and sick, and I might lose them soon. There's been The Grad School Decision, personal life crises, serious financial crises, living with The Ex, a job that demands more than I ever expected it to, losses of friends and gaining new ones, big and little disappointments, total failures, and trying to learn French. There's been too much alcohol, moratoriums on alcohol, bitter fights with myself about everything, and attempts to just be nice to myself as I try to navigate these waters.

This is just how life goes. Sometimes, things are simple - you don't have much going on, it feels easy. And sometimes, you think the Universe is testing to see how much weight you can carry before you collapse.

I didn't collapse, but the Tough Couple Months aren't over yet. There have been times when I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, only for it to be extinguished again. This time, it seems like the light is real, but I'm frankly exhausted and afraid of getting my hopes up too far.

Right now, I'm doing a lot of general re-prioritizing in my life, which typically happens third when I'm going through tough times, right after alcohol and sleep. (Which, really, need to be re-prioritized too.) And with that, I'm hoping that I'll be returning to this blog. Posting has been sporadic (at best) during the Tough Couple Months, and while I know the general vibe over here includes a lot of snark, it doesn't generally include a lot of whining.

So that's where I am. I know it's not an "excuse" or even much of an explanation for my absence, but I am alive still, and I'll be back for real soon.

At the moment though, what I really want is to hear from you guys - what have you been up to the past few months? I've been out of touch with everyone and everything online, unfortunately. So, where have your lives taken you?

1 comment:

  1. Get yourself in order, take a breather and we will be here when you get back! I have spent the last few months in limbo during my overseas move. I just got my furniture and household goods shipment this past week and am now unpacking everything. It has been one crazy hell of a move for us where everything that could go wrong (on both sides of the ocean) did. But, we ARE finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (after three months of crazy chaos).


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