The Life 'Unfollow' Button

 Or, why I'm never hanging out with anyone in real life ever again.

You know how when someone starts to annoy the hell out of you on Twitter, you can unfollow them? How if they're really driving you nuts, you can block them? How if you really just want to punch them in the face, you can report them for spam? pretend they don't exist?

It's nice. I can unfriend someone on Facebook, stop reading their blog, stop following them on twitter and voila! they're pretty much cut out of my life. This is the beauty of leading a social media lifestyle.

Which is why I'm never going to speak to people in real three-dimensional life again.

Because real three-dimensional relationships are hard. They require time and effort. They require physically being in a place with someone and they require mostly undivided attention. They require sacrifices. And when they go wrong, they seem to require seeing each other again, even when you'd rather not.

There's no life Unfollow button. I can't just Unfriend them and never hear about their lives anymore, or never see them again, even if their photos aren't coming up in my news feed. I have to deal with them still, and sometimes that really sucks.

I wish everyone had a giant X above their head. We could mentally click it, and that person would be hidden from our life. They'd go on living their own life, but we'd never hear rumors about what they're doing now, or run into them at the market or on campus.  Not until we're ready to at least.

I'd click the X above Michele Bachmann's head first.