Okay, so yeah, fine, I admit it: I need social contact almost constantly. I need to be talking to someone, or at least be near someone almost all the time.
There are times when I don’t want people around of course – you know, when I’m going to the bathroom. Or in a really foul mood. Or crying hysterically. Or uh… That’s about it. And I’m even flexible on the crying thing.
Am I alone on this?
(Excuse the pun.)
It really doesn’t even need to be my friends or my family or Mr. Man 24/7. It just needs to be people. Really, honestly, we don’t even have to acknowledge each other all that much. Ordering something from a barista at Starbucks is good enough for me for a while. Hell, making eye contact is good enough.
I need a cat. Or a room mate that doesn’t hate me.
Oh God, I’m going to become that crazy cat woman that lives alone.
Plus, cats don’t like to cuddle. I like cuddling. I need cuddling. I was made to cuddle. I can only watch so much Friends or Sex and the City or dance around my room to music before I need to physically look someone in the eye or talk to them or hug them. Touch is my love language and I need someone to come home to every night that will watch TV or eat dinner or gripe about how much our lives suck as broke students with me. I realize that’s not cuddling, but I don’t cuddle with everyone. That would be weird. I mean, hello, I’m from TEXAS, we have this thing called “personal space” down here. We don’t just run around touching everyone, that’s why we all drive our own cars to work and don’t have any semblance of public transportation yet; we don’t want to have to touch people we don’t want to.
Anyways.
Maybe what I need is a puppy.
Except no, because I already have a puppy, and she’s getting really old and probably –gulp- dying, and let’s not talk about how I have cried several times since we realized she’s deaf and in a lot of pain on Sunday because I will start crying again.
It’s not even just seeing someone, or touching someone though. I just took a 30 minute break from writing this to talk on the phone to Mr. Man and already I feel less lonely. Talking to other people online, even people who I’ve never met or whose voices I’ve never even heard, is good, because it’s still a person who is talking TO me.
The funny thing is, I totally got myself into the situation that led to all this thinking and upset. I decided to stay in College Station for summer school until July 1, fully knowing that the town would be practically empty because all my friends would go home. I thought it would give me plenty of time to write and read (plus keep my job a little longer), except I have no drive to do any of that when all I want to do is cry because all I freaking want is a hug from Mr. Man.
Seriously, am I the only one that feels a physical need for hugs?
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I know exactly what you are going through. Moving to Vegas and barely knowing anyone has put me in this very weird state of mind. I want to run to someone, anyone, and I can't...because although my best friend is here, I can't run to her, cuddle on the couch, and watch a movie. We're friends, not lesbians. So I've had to adapt. I've learned to entertain myself and learned to deal with my issues (although sometimes I think I have created new ones in the process). Being alone is never easy and you should NEVER feel weird about wanting to feel less lonely. It's human nature.
ReplyDeleteStepping off soap box...right about...now.
oh girlfran. i understand. i'm am the poster child for needing contact... i just normally have trouble asking for it. just like i can admit i'm upset, but i can't really tell people what it's about when they finally ask. and i CONSTANTLY want to be hugged- it's human nature to want physical contact.
ReplyDeleteand in case you really want another companion- because no one will replace your puppy- cats CAN be cuddly. it's just finding the right one :) you're always welcome at our house cuz Freddy is a cuddle bug!
touch is not my love language ( words of affirmation is), but I still understand the lonely. My husband and I were married for five years before we had children and when he would deploy, as much as I hated my job, I hated to see the weekends come because I would just sit at home. I wanted to be in the presence of people too. Now that I have two kids, my cup runneth over with physical contact. I think a little too much, because the idea of being completely alone for a few days appeals to me. Funny how life works.
ReplyDeleteI think you know I'm crazy independent to the point of ridiculousness and (especially these days when I'm depressed) am not much of a crowd person. So I can't say I've ever felt this. I mean, I get the enjoyment of being in a crowded starbucks or ordering from a barista (ah. my favorite things), but I've never had the NEED for these things. Sounds sucky. :/
ReplyDeleteI was thinking though, of maybe seeing if my parents would go for it, and doing a RT with KJ to see you. I'mma try to work it out. But then again, it is my parents.