Sometimes, Right Now

{via.}

Here's a little something you should know about International Studies majors: We're always planning trips and dying to go abroad and talking about how the second we graduate we're going to move to another country and work for a non-profit or the UN or be an ambassador or do something for the State Department.

I'm told it's inspiring. I'm told we're some of the most liberal and idealistic people on this campus. I'm told our dreams are impressive.

I'm also told we're really hard people to date.

In a school where dating is almost always geared toward marriage, Aggies at some point developed a mentality of 'why bother?' if we know it's not going anywhere. Which has its merits, I'm sure. It means though that people find it hard to commit to someone who is constantly on the verge of escape, that will never stay but will always leave.

And I totally get this. I don't want to get too involved knowing that I'm leaving for China for three months next summer and that December of '11, I'm embarking on some insane world trip which I don't plan on returning from until Fall '12. I don't want to risk wanting to stay when all I've ever really wanted was to leave.

If I'm being honest, I'm okay with being single. I enjoy my freedoms right now. I like being independent, I like not owing anyone anything. I like being on my own. I like that I don't feel as grounded, that I could take off whenever, that I could fly.

But if I'm being really honest, I have to admit that there are things I miss about being stable, about having a boyfriend.

I miss knowing that I definitely had something to do on Friday or Saturday night.

I miss going to scary movies and having a hand to hold.

I miss having someone who would be there to take care of me if I was sick.

I miss sharing secrets late at night under the stars.

I miss sit-down meals and date nights.

I miss being able to depend on someone.

I miss getting flowers and laughing over little inside jokes.

I miss not playing games and not dealing with the hook up culture.