As I'm hurtling faster and faster toward China and graduation and being a Grown Ass Woman, I'm finding my life very full of Grown Up Things.
I'm having to ask myself important questions like -- what the hell am I going to do when I graduate? Where am I going to live? Law school or photography?
I'm having to do things like look into the requirements and recommendations to get jobs in certain fields. I'm having to confront the fact that very very soon, my parents won't be helping me out as much, and I better have a plan for how I'm going to survive once they don't.
I'm having to confront companies/people I work with when they upset me instead of letting my mom handle it. I'm having to promote myself instead of letting my parents brag on me.
To be honest, it's freaking me out a little. By this time next year, I'm supposed to have my shit together? I know I don't have to commit to any career for the rest of my life, but I have to make decisions that will effect the rest of my life? I have to like...be a Grown Up?
I'm pretty sure I thought this time was much further away. And I often have no idea what I want. And even when I have an idea of what I want, I still thinking "well, what if..." and I'm doubting myself all over again.
UMoveFree is a service that helps renters find Bedford, TX apartments I heard about recently during all this Grown Up stuff and was amused by the simple idea behind it: not everything has to be hard -- even tedious and sometimes difficult things like moving. And I guess that's true. Sometimes, I think we even make things harder than they have to be.
We don't have to make it as hard as we do.
So I'm doing it -- I'm doing the research and making the decisions and confronting the people. But I'm also spending a lot of time getting in touch with myself. I'm journaling a lot. I'm accepting my passions. It's terrifying, but I'm allowing myself to be someone that my friends and family wouldn't necessarily accept because it's not them but it is me.
I'm trying not to make this harder than it has to be. I'm trying to find the balance between going with the flow and living with intention. I think that's a Grown Up Thing too. And I think that, like all the other Grown Up Things, that I can do it.