Monday, May 9, 2011

that time when suddenly my life had to be about Grown Up Things


As I'm hurtling faster and faster toward China and graduation and being a Grown Ass Woman, I'm finding my life very full of Grown Up Things.

I'm having to ask myself important questions like -- what the hell am I going to do when I graduate? Where am I going to live? Law school or photography?

I'm having to do things like look into the requirements and recommendations to get jobs in certain fields. I'm having to confront the fact that very very soon, my parents won't be helping me out as much, and I better have a plan for how I'm going to survive once they don't.

I'm having to confront companies/people I work with when they upset me instead of letting my mom handle it. I'm having to promote myself instead of letting my parents brag on me.

To be honest, it's freaking me out a little. By this time next year, I'm supposed to have my shit together? I know I don't have to commit to any career for the rest of my life, but I have to make decisions that will effect the rest of my life? I have to a Grown Up?

I'm pretty sure I thought this time was much further away. And I often have no idea what I want. And even when I have an idea of what I want, I still thinking "well, what if..." and I'm doubting myself all over again.

UMoveFree is a service that helps renters find Bedford, TX apartments I heard about recently during all this Grown Up stuff and was amused by the simple idea behind it: not everything has to be hard -- even tedious and sometimes difficult things like moving. And I guess that's true. Sometimes, I think we even make things harder than they have to be.

We don't have to make it as hard as we do.

So I'm doing it -- I'm doing the research and making the decisions and confronting the people. But I'm also spending a lot of time getting in touch with myself. I'm journaling a lot. I'm accepting my passions. It's terrifying, but I'm allowing myself to be someone that my friends and family wouldn't necessarily accept because it's not them but it is me

I'm trying not to make this harder than it has to be. I'm trying to find the balance between going with the flow and living with intention. I think that's a Grown Up Thing too. And I think that, like all the other Grown Up Things, that I can do it.


  1. I so know this feeling! You can do it, especially if you really do take it one day at a time. I recently had to figure out my self-employed taxes for the first time (AH) and take care of getting my own health care taken care of (AH!), but it's possible, and I promise, it gets easier every time you pick up a phone to make a call and ask a question and just START doing. You're going to rock it!

  2. i totally know how you feel... make sure u do what u want to do and take those chances u might think are crazy but in the end u wont end up regretting it.

  3. i hate all this grown up stuff. it's making its way into all the little faucets of my life. (and i spelled that wrong, but oh well.)

  4. I graduated last year and can definitely relate. It is really tough to find your way! Good luck!

  5. Defining yourself can be very limiting. For instance, if I were to call myself a "user experience designer", or an "industrial designer", or a "blogger", or a "programmer", then I might only think in terms of what I could do in those fields instead of leaving myself open to work in any or all of them.

    Don't worry about becoming someone your family and friends "might" have difficulty accepting. When we change, it forces others around us to grow. My wife keeps moving the goalpost on me, but it keeps me thinking and humble. Your parents will always love you even if they don't understand you. If they are open to dialog, talk to them about your values and why you have them.

    I have learned slowly and painfully that it doesn't really matter what you do in life as long as you give it your best. Also, live for other people. I can see you probably already do from one of your other posts. The author of the Purpose Driven Life said in an interview that we are happiest when we are serving others. Though I am not a religious person, I can't ignore the truth in his statement. We like helping other people. In some cases—like when you are called upon for your expertise—it even plays to your ego. Nothing wrong with feeling good about sharing your knowledge though.

    As for the promoting yourself bit, this blog puts you head and shoulders above most. Keep writing about what you care about, and you'll keep moving in a good direction. Network like crazy too. If I could revisit myself as a younger man, I would encourage myself to "date" prospective employers. Make online or IRW friendships with the people that work for your prospective employer. Ask them what they do and don't like about their workplace. Ask them if they think you'd be a good fit in their company. If you are a passionate person, which I'm guessing you are, one of the worst things you can do is work for an organization in which you don't belong. It it bad for the organization and bad for your soul.

    As you mentioned, your work life doesn't have to be constrained to one particular career path. Maybe you could start yourself a 529 plan. A kind of rainy day fund so that you can cut your college expenses should you bail on your chosen career and want to go back to school. If you never go back to school, and you decide to have kids, you could pass that fund on to one (or all) of them.


Commenting? How lovely. Please try not to talk about dead cats.