Oh wait, yes, I could, because I'm pissed/hurt/confused that the exact thing my friends said was going to happen isn't, even though I didn't totally want it to happen from the beginning.
Hypocrisy for the win!
It's just... Mr. Man kind of up and decided that he doesn't want to get married until he's at least 28, which is fine, okay, whatever. Except it's a really long time from now and I'm not sure I'm okay with waiting that long.
And I know, I know, I shouldn't be planning my life like we're definitely going to get married and I'm trying not to, but it's hard not to think about these things in a relationship, especially since I've loved this kid since we were like 16.
I know 28 isn't old. And his reasons are actually pretty legit -- he wants to be done with school and be financially stable and he actually said like 26 at the earliest. And that totally makes sense. And a year ago (hell, four months ago) I was saying the same thing about my life.
I don't want to get married tomorrow or next year. Really. I never did. But now that he's taken the chance of that happening away, I'm upset about it. Which makes no sense... except it does, you know? I just don't know how to explain it.
I just said, "I'm not sure if I'm okay with waiting that long." That's a lie. I'm okay with waiting that long. I don't know if I'd leave him if he said he never wanted to get married. I mean, I want a wedding and all, that's true, but at the end of the day, I don't need a piece of paper from the government telling me that I'm in love and plan on spending the rest of my life with one person. I already know that, the government doesn't do anything but give me a tax break because I realized that.
Maybe I'm only upset about this because I had gotten used to the idea that I would probably be the first of my close friends to get married. On top of that, it feels like everyone around me is getting engaged and planning their weddings and I want that. And even if they're not taking the plunge, couples are moving in together. And I want that. Except Mr. Man is actually moving to California in December (yeah, not excited) and so that's kind of impossible. It's just hard to commute from Santa Barbara to College Station every day, you know?
Hey, maybe I can be like JLo in The Wedding Planner, planning everyone else's weddings? Or like Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
God, I depress myself.
I probably need to start hanging out with my single friends more because at this rate I'm going to drive myself absolutely crazy. Or if not myself, at least Mr. Man.
One last thing: Please, please, please go check this out and tell me about an organization you care about! :) Thanks!
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I get it and I understand. But, for what it's worth, I got married at 25 (actually, I was just 2 months from being 26) and I'm glad I did it that way. I dated, went out, partied and did all the things that I wanted to do while I was in college. I was ready to get married at 26 but wasn't ready for kids. So we then had a blast just being a married couple for almost five years before we had kids. Again, I wouldn't change it for anything.
ReplyDeleteawe - i completely understand {to a point at least}. We got married at 20 {he was 22}. Seriously, we were babies. I don't regret it and never will. 12 years now of struggles, love, companionship, each other. Good times. I just don't want y'all waiting for the "right time". because there never is a "right time". We will always need more time, more money, more everything. I know that we thought the same thing about having kids. Now we are 32ish/34 and waiting for kids...we are STILL not "there" financially, but we have realized we will never be. Ever. I don't know my point to this except to say that you guys need to do what will make YOU happy. Who cares how old/how much money you have/or whatever else excuse you can come up with.
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