A Blog-oversary...Hiatus?

One year ago today, I wrote a post called On Happiness, in which I talked about a quote by Leo Rosten that I love. It goes a little something (or, you know, exactly) like this:

"I cannot believe the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate. I think it is above all to count, to stand for something. To have it make some difference that you lived at all."

With that, I started off on the crazy adventure this blog has been. I've done so much self-discovery through this blog. I've met so many awesome people, made some friends that I really love, and grown closer to friends I already had. And I have to thank you guys because you've been a huge part of that.

However, recently I've been worrying about who this blog made me seem like. It started with this post, my decision to make a secret blog. I had my reservations about the situation then, but pressed on. My new blog became a place where I could be more honest about myself, where I could talk about the things I haven't felt comfortable posting here; stuff like the way the accident made me totally lose my faith in humanity, humiliating-but-hilarious stories about things Mr. Man and I do, the way I wake up crying pretty often, or the fact that I'm having a total crisis of religious faith and have been for a while now.

Bet you didn't know any of that, did you?

I feel like, in a way, I've been lying to you guys on here. Not deliberately, but by omission. And the ironic thing is that one of the biggest things I advocate is being yourself. The day I realized all this was the same day I posted this Kurt Cobain quote, actually, and God, look what I said after it: "Let's be ourselves today and every day after." It kind of makes me sick because I haven't been being myself, not totally. I've been being just one facet of Valorie on this blog, catering to my audience.

I hate hypocrites. Hate them. But I've been being one of the biggest ones of them all.

I mean, God, the fucking background of my blog says, "Be bold, be unique, be anything you want to be." Because I'm always the one telling other people they can't hide behind a mask, that they need to "be who [they] are and say what [they] feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss. (Yeah, high school AP teachers, check out THAT embedded quote!) But I've been so worried that I'll write something on here that will piss someone else off, that I haven't been doing that myself. And now I've been stretching myself thin, pretending like I'm this happy little Christian Aggie on here who may or may not have a politically dissenting opinion from the rest of Aggieland, but for the most part fits in perfectly because she's quiet and even-tempered and believes in God and has a happy family and has this perfect fucking life that I don't have. I'm only partly those things and only some of the time.

And yeah, we could probably delve into the world of psychology and say that this habit of controlling the image people have of me probably has to do with my insatiable need for control and perfectionism stemming from a woefully disrupted childhood, the same things that lead to my battle with anorexia and whatever else, and that makes it okay somehow.

Or we could call it for what it is: hypocritical, two-faced bullshit.

I can't do this anymore. I can't live behind this fucking mask, worrying that one day I'm going to slip up and that one of you is going to see a side of me I don't want you to see. Not because I'm not capable (I'm perfectly capable of juggling two blogs and two lives) but I don't want to because it goes against everything I stand for.

Being useful, being honorable, being compassionate. I know Rosten didn't say it, but let's tack on being genuine, too.

So, I'm taking some time off. I need to figure out not just which blog to keep, but kind of who I am. I'll be back once I have a clearer understanding of what it means to be Simply Valorie.

Earth Day, Dr. Seuss Style

As many of you know, I'm reading a list of 50 books that have been banned for political, religious, or ridiculous reasons over time. Books like Forever, by Judy Blume (my review) because they detailed a girl's decision about whether or not to become sexually active, or The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, which is about a battle between God and Satan through two men (my review).

Well, I just recently read The Lorax by Dr. Seuss, which was banned because it's an allegory for poor treatment of Earth and loggers in California didn't like that so much. It's a story about the greedy Onceler who comes to the Lorax's territory and begins cutting down truffula trees, using the tops to make "thneeds" out of them, something *everyone* needs. He goes out of control, cutting down all the trees, polluting the air, and destroying the habitats of various types of fantastical creatures. The Lorax tries to warn him that he's hurting everyone numerous times, but the Onceler goes right on with his industry. Finally, the truffula trees are gone and everyone leaves, and all he's left with is a pile of rocks that say "Unless..."

Unless we do something. Yeah, this is an Earth Day post. I'm not a hippie-tree-hugger by any means, guys. I'm not going to move into a tree once I get to UC Berkeley. But I think that even when this book was published in 1971, Dr. Seuss brought up a good point. If we're not careful, we'll ruin this Earth for future generations. So, let's do our part. I'm not asking you to bomb a manufacturing plant (in fact, please don't do that), but let's use ceramic mugs instead of plastic cups for our coffee in the morning and carpool to work/school/the movies. I'm not saying that we should ban cars or wear only hemp or whatever. I don't know how much I believe in global warming (I'm not a scientist, I can't look at those figures for myself and draw my own conclusions), but I know for sure that the coral reefs off the coast of Australia are dying, and I know for sure that we're deforesting the Amazon at an alarming rate, and those are beautiful creatures, God's creatures, that need a place to live too.

Think about that today. When our kids are born, and their kids, I want the world to be just as beautiful as it is today, if not more so. I don't want it to look dark and sad like it does where the Onceler lives.

Muster 2010

Today, April 21, is Muster. It's a day that Aggies all over the world get together, remember their times in Aggieland and their fellow Aggies that have passed on in the past year. In College Station, tens of thousands gather in Reed Arena and perform the Roll Call for the Absent, during which we call the name of every Aggie, current and Old Army, that has died since the last Muster. We light a candle for every name and at the end of the ceremony the Ross Volunteers fire a 21 gun salute.

It's a beautiful ceremony. It embodies the Aggie Spirit and is almost a renewal of Aggie-ness for all Aggies; if ever you doubt why you chose A&M, go to Muster -- it's the night when you remember why you're an Aggie. It certainly reminded me.

This poem is one of many famous Aggie poems. It's called Roll Call for the Absent; we read it at every Muster now.

In many lands and climes this April day Proud sons of Texas A&M unite. Our loyalty to country, school, we pray, and seal our pact with bond of common might.

We live again those happy days of yore on campus, field, in classroom, dorm, at drill Fond memory brings a sigh -- but nothing more; Now we are men and life’s a greater thrill,

On Corregidor years ago today A band of gallant Aggies, led by Moore, Held simple rites which led to us doth all to say: The spirit shall prevail through cannon roar.

Before we part and go upon our way, We pause to honor those we knew so well; The old familiar faces we miss so much today Left cherished recollections that time cannot dispel.

Softly call the Muster, Let comrade answer, “Here!” Their spirits hover ‘round us As if to bring us cheer!

Mark them ‘present’ in our hearts. We’ll meet some other day There is no death, but life etern For our old friends such as they!

by Dr. John Ashton ‘06

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In Which All The Panic Became Something Good

I don't know if you guys saw my tweets this morning, but they went something along these lines:

"It's really fun finding out that a fact you made a lot of decisions based around was wrong. #Not."

"My life has become one round of misinformed decisions after another."

"我不知道。(I don't know.)"

This is because (to make an excruciatingly long story short) I found out that learning Chinese has been a total waste of my time, career-wise, because international treaties (I want to study international law) are written in French. And while, yeah, they're translated into Chinese, that's really not the dominant language of international law and I really need to learn French to make it anywhere.

Uhm. Cool.

I panicked when I found that out. Mostly because I've wasted a year learning a really difficult language that I apparently don't need and now I'm too far into my major to switch to French. Also, I'm required to study abroad to graduate and I was already working on applications to go to China for eight months in January and yeah I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT IF I DON'T NEED TO.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Spending eight months abroad would be amazing. But... I'm very much a home-person. I need my family and my friends. I was terrified to go for that long alone. If Mr. Man could come, okay, maybe I could handle that, but 8 months without him or my family or my friends? No. NONONONONONONO.

Not if it's not worth my time, at least. And apparently, it's not.

And then there are all the other decisions I made based on the China-for-8-months-thing -- like signing a lease that only goes from May-Dec because I won't need a place Jan-Aug, but now suddenly realizing that HOLY CRAP I NEED A PLACE TO LIVE.

I talked to my mom on the phone for multiple hours about all this today. We've got it pretty much figured -- I'll keep the lease I have and just move into my own place in January instead of going to China. I'll still go to China in the summer for 10 weeks to fulfill my international requirement to graduate, but now that I'm not spending a whole semester there I'm actually going to graduate on time instead of a semester late like I was going to have to. Which is a HUGE relief.

And, and, here's the best part: Because I'm going to be here that semester, I don't *need* to take a lot of summer school like I was going to have to to make up for basically taking a hiatus (one of the issues about going abroad 8 months was I could only take 1 class while I was there, instead of 5 I would have in the US). But, if I do take 2 classes during the summer, just 2, then I can actually get my minor in psychology like I've been wanting to and STILL GRADUATE ON TIME! I love psychology and have been wanting to study it but was going to have to stay a whole 'nother semester to do so, putting me at graduating a full year late.

So, RECAP: this morning: I was a double major graduating in December 2012. Tonight, I go to sleep a double major with a minor in psych graduating in May 2012.

I'm Using You

...for music recommendations. :)

See, here's the thing: I'm getting so bored of my current music selection. I haven't really been introduced to anything new recently and I'm super bad at "discovering" bands on my own.

So, help a girl out?

I have pretty varied music tastes, so long as it has words and isn't screamo, hardcore gangster rap, or suuuper redneck twangy country (meaning no bango, basically). Other than that, I've open to pretty much anything.

Any chance you've got a few artists up your sleeve you could recommend? :)

(Obviously, that photo isn't mine, it's the Apple iTunes logo. In case you didn't know.)

A Little Review For You

So, as you guys know by now, part of my 101 in 1001 list is to finish reading this list of 50 banned books. And I'm already 21 in! Get excited. This past week, I finally finished reading The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, and let me tell you: it was intense. I won't lie, it was not an easy read. I know summer is coming up, but this is not beach material, people! If you choose to read this, read it when you have time to actually sit down and think through what you're reading and understand it.

This is a story about God and the devil, set in a magical realm where they fight a battle of sorts through the fantastical experiences of the two main characters. Saladin Chamcha and Gibreel Farishta are both Muslim actors who are on a place that happens to be hijacked on it's way to England. Their adventure begins as they fall to Earth together after the plane blows up, landing off the coast of England, miraculously alive but greatly transformed. The book takes on a mystical element after that, telling mainly the story of Chamcha and Farishta and their lives after the terrorist hijacking, but also numerous other subplots that intertwine, confusing a reader that doesn't pay attention carefully. But that's what Rushdie wanted.

The book utilizes contemporary issues, basing characters off of real people and places. The title refers to what are known as the satanic verses, a group of alleged Qur'anic that allowed for prayers to be made to three pagan goddesses, Allat, Uzza, and Manat. This is what makes the book controversial: Muslims consider these references blasphemous. The book was banned in India, caused unrest in the UK, and was the subject of an all out riot in Pakistan in 1989. Following the riot, the Ayatollah Ruholla Komeini, Supreme Leader of Iran (and a Shi'a Muslim scholar) issued a fatwa against Rushdie, meaning that any good Muslim was technically supposed to do whatever possible to kill him or ensure he was killed. Hot. Damn. Of course, the British police weren't going to allow this to happen and Rushdie remains safe to this day. The same can't be said of all his publishers though -- the fatwa was against them as well, and several have been injured and even killed because of this book. Komeini has since passed away and the hype seems to have died down some, though the book is still banned in Bangladesh, Egypt, India, Iran, Kenya, Kuwait, Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Pakistan, Senegal, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Tanzania, and Thailand.

Rushdie, honestly, is a brilliant story-teller. There were parts I had to reread to understand, but I think that's more a tribute to his genius and says more about how easily distracted I am than anything. Definitely add this to your To Read list. I've already added the rest of his novels. :)

Getting In On The Controversy

I didn’t participate in Day of Silence this year, though I wanted to. My mother is coming into town to visit me and while she is very supportive of gay rights, she is not so supportive of me not speaking to her. Also, I had my big law discussion class and it was inconveniently scheduled that today would be a “speaking” quiz in which we all had to put forth an opinion to get a grade, and while I do believe that equal rights are more important than whether or not I get an A, it was kind of just an icing-on-the-cake reason not to.

Despite all that though, this is a little story/quote thing I wanted to share in support of this day. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but in case you haven’t, take a read. It’s short.

An engineering professor is treating her husband, a loan officer, to dinner for finally giving in to her pleas to shave off the scraggly beard he grew on vacation. His favorite restaurant is a casual place where they both feel comfortable in slacks and cotton/polyester-blend golf shirts. But, as always, she wears the gold and pearl pendant he gave her the day her divorce decree was final. They’re laughing over their menus because they know he always ends up diving into a giant plate of ribs but she won’t be talked into anything more fattening than shrimp.

Quiz: How many biblical prohibitions are they violating? Well, wives are supposed to be submissive to their husbands (I Peter 3:1). And all women are forbidden to teach men (I Timothy 2:12), wear gold or pearls (I Timothy 2:9) or dress in clothing that ‘pertains to a man’ (Deuteronomy 22:5). Shellfish and pork are definitely out (Leviticus 11:7, 10) as are usury (Deuteronomy 23:19), shaving (Leviticus 19:27) and clothes of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19). And since the Bible rarely recognizes divorce, they’re committing adultery, which carries the rather harsh penalty of death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22).

So why are they having such a good time? Probably because they wouldn’t think of worrying about rules that seem absurd, anachronistic or – at best – unrealistic. Yet this same modern-day couple could easily be among the millions of Americans who never hesitate to lean on the Bible to justify their own anti-gay attitudes. ~Deb Price, And Say Hi To Joyce

I’m a Christian. But I support gay rights.

See, we have this concept in the US of separation of Church and State. It’s why we’ve only had one Catholic president — we don’t want the Pope, or anyone or anything else — trying to dictate our lives. So, why should we let a book, a book that only 76% of Americans believe as truth, dictate the laws governing what 100% of Americans are allowed to do? I’m not a math major, but that must mean that 24% of Americans are not Christians. As of July of 2009, the US population stood at 307,006,550, meaning that Christians who try to force everyone else to live by the Bible are forcing 73,681,572 people to live by a standard they don’t believe in. Because, yes, homosexuals, bisexuals, transexuals, whateversexuals are people too.

Maybe I’m naïve, with my whole idea of fair and allowing everyone to enjoy the same freedoms they’re supposed to be guaranteed by this nation, but it seems really fucked up to me that we (yes, I’m including myself here because I am a Christian) think we get to tell other people what the “right” kind of love is and discredit their’s.

And before you say this nation was founded by conservative Christians and should be run by conservative Christians: No, no it wasn’t. It was founded by liberal-extremist DEISTS who were basically agnostic and believed that there might be a God maybe, but Christ was not His son. Just saying.

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Fill It In

A fun little quiz I found on Lauren's blog. It's pretty fun. You should join in. :)

The first thing I do in the morning is turn off my alarm then check my phone. Then wonder if I should go back to sleep. And probably do.

Every night before bed, I typically talk to Mr. Man on the phone. I wrap up any text conversations I was having, then typically tweet something mundane.

My favorite thing to do when I'm having a bad day is sleep, haha. Sometimes I'll go exercise, and sometimes writing helps, but nothing cures a bad mood like a good nap.

Something that makes me cringe is watching the way spiders move. It's creepy. They don't walk they... glide. Or something. Same with the crown of thorns starfish, which is super pretty when it's stationary but creepy as hell when it moves. It's not natural. Also, that thing can kill you.

Social situations are pretty hit and miss for me. In a small intimate group, I'm golden, unless someone I really really dislike it there. Big groups are a no go though, unless I've been friends with people in it for multiple years.

I like to collect movie ticket stubs. I keep every single one and glue them in this leather bound journal I have.

Weekends are for recharging, for writing, for laughing. They're for so not studying and for pretending for a moment that my life isn't complicated.

Have a great weekend, y'all! :)

A Little Quote For Ya

I saw this last Sunday, and it's been on my mind ever since, so I thought I'd share it with y'all.

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."
-Kurt Cobain

Right? Let's be ourselves today and every day after.

One Day Without Shoes

Love. Love. Love.

It was definitely a sweats day last Thursday, haha. Yeah, I play in the dirt sometimes. :)

Did you go barefoot? If so, link up pictures! :)

Monday Mantra: April 12

This week I will write (like, creative writing, not blogging) every single day! :)

I believe that something exciting is coming my way soon. {Mostly because I already know it is. I just can't talk about it yet.}

I'm addicted to tank tops. Oh, glorious, glorious summertime. {Let's face it, I live in Texas. We had our week of spring and it's summer now.}

I wish I didn't have class so I could spend all day by the pool today.

I'm jealous of Mr. Man's friends that get to see him numerous times a week. There, I said it. I kind of hate them a little bit sometimes. Not really. But kind of. But I CAN handle this. :)

Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week: "She's Got You High" by Mumm-Ra.

She's got you high and you don't even know yet.
She's got you high and you don't even know yet.
The sun's in the sky, it's warming up your bare legs,
You can't deny you're looking for the sunset.

What's this about? I figured love would shine through.
We've lost romance; this world has turned so see through.
Open your mind, believe it's going to come too,
Keep romance alive and hope she's going to tell you.

Weekend Whoop!

Wow. The past 48 hours or so have been a little over the top ridiculous. Hardcore.

Friday: It felt so weird to go to class when all my classes Thursday got canceled, but I buckled up and went. In my international law and politics class we'd been holding a moot court session that week and that day the final judgment was delivered -- my team (Mexico) won! Whoooop! I drove home that night and had dinner at Five Guys (if you have a Five Guys burger place near you GO NOW) and saw Date Night with Mr. Man. Whoooop! Tina Fey and Steve Carrell really should just act in comedies together all the time because they're pretty hysterical. Check it out!

Saturday: This is when all the ridiculous starts. I got up at like 8 that morning to help my parents pack, since they're moving to Colorado and all. That afternoon, a friend of mine and I stumbled upon a really awesome art festival going on in Ft. Worth (yeah, number 63, DONE) so we had lunch down there and walked around for a few hours, just enjoying all the wonderful artwork. Whoooop! THE saddest thing happened though! There was this guy with these huge, absolutely beautiful glass sculptures, and someone knocked one over and it shattered. The artist started crying immediately. It was awful. :( tssss. That night was my sorority's (I know, I don't talk about it much -- I'm in a sorority!) formal, which is the whole reason I went home to begin with. Whoooop! Mr. Man didn't come with me because his cousin was getting married that night, but I had a lot of fun anyways. Like an IDIOT though, I didn't take my camera. Que lame, right? So this one picture of the flowers that I got with my phone is the only photo I have. Feel free to make fun of me.

Sunday: The formal ended at about midnight. When I was on my way home, Mr. Man called me and was like "Dude, dude, they're imploding the old Cowboy's stadium at 7 am. I'm on my way back from Austin, I'll pick you up at 1:30, we're SO going and to get good parking we have to be there by 2." So, we went. And as you can guess we got no sleep. Absolutely none. But it was so, so, SO awesome. I mean, how many times do you get to see a building you've watched your high school football team play in implode? NOT VERY OFTEN! Whoooop! I have video, but it's crappy quality and I can't get it to upload. One of our friends that got a better video is posting his on FB/YouTube though, so I'll link up when I can. :) We had breakfast/lunch and hung out until 2 pm (aka, took a two hour nap), then I drove back to Aggieland, albeit after getting some bad news from the family. That's going to be have to be it's whole on post though. tssssss.... And I am totally running on two hours of sleep right now... UGH.

Next weekend, I'm actually staying in Aggieland! First time in weeeeks. Haha. Be impressed!

How was your weekend? Don't forget, you should TOTALLY participate, Aggie or not. Whoooop! is for awesome things that happened, while tssss is for lame things that t-sips do. :) Leave a comment with a link to your blog post if you do.

(Ir)Rational Fears

First things first: Are you going barefoot today? Now, onto the post:

Not a lot of things scare me, per se. A lot of things make me worry (like people not answering phones in a timely manner and my mom driving in the snow), but few things make me actually feel fear.

Elevators are one of those few things that actually make-my-heart-pound, hairs-stand-up-on-my-neck, frighten me.

See, when I was twelve, my friend (at the time) Emily, my parents, and I, fell two stories in an elevator in Mexico.

I mean, it's two stories. It's not that far. We weren't even injured for crying out loud! The worst thing that happened was that the alarm button on the elevator didn't work, so my dad-the-body-builder had to pull open the elevator doors by himself (yeah, you read that right. bamf right there) and then we all had to pound on the outer doors and yell until someone realized we were in there and called for help.

This happened in a totally timely manner and in less than fifteen (possibly less than ten) minutes the firemen rescued us, our ordeal was over and we were on our way to our (now totally free, thanks hotel) dinner.

And yet, seven years later, I still hesitate before getting in an elevator, because this time I'm convinced that it'll go worse than last time and I'll just die or something ridiculous. In fact, until I was like 17, I just flat out would not take the elevator. It wasn't until I was in Chicago and we were going up to the 99th floor of the Sears (now Willis?) Tower, that I sucked it the heck up and got on the elevator.

Yeah, I feel a little irrational.

What are you afraid of?

(This post was brought to you by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.)

Day Without Shoes

There's this company, called TOMS Shoes, that does a really awesome awesome thing. For every one pair of shoes you buy from them, they donate another pair to someone in the world who doesn't own shoes.

And on April 8th, aka THURSDAY, they're sponsoring a world-wide event called One Day Without Shoes.

It's exactly like it sounds. On April 8th, we're all going to go barefoot for the day to raise awareness for people around the world that go without shoes every day. It'll be good for us -- we'll get a glimpse of what it's like -- and good for them because people WILL ask why you're going barefoot.

Well, here's why I'M doing it:

• In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to school, clean water, and to seek medical help.
• Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.
• Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.
• In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.
  
• Podoconiosis is 100% preventable with basic foot hygiene and simply wearing shoes.

Will you join us? RSVP here.

Monday Mantra: April 5

This week will be a very relaxed week. No tests for me!

I believe that I can make it to summer in one piece and with no mental breakdowns. No matter how impossible that sounds right now.

I'm addicted to watching Friends! Can I just skip school and watch the six of them get into shenanigans all day?

I wish I could get through The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie. It's good but so. long.

I'm jealous people who have blue skies right now. It's cloudy out.

Soundtrack/Mantra for the Week: "Go" by Boys Like Girls

Get up and go;
Take a chance and be strong,
you can’t spend your whole life holding on.
Don’t look back, just go,
take a breath, move along.
You can’t spend your whole life holding on.

Weekend Whoop!

First of all, Happy Easter everyone! To those of you who celebrated, I hope you had a great day with family/friends/whoever, to those that didn't, I hope you had a wonderful Sunday doing whatever. :)

Thursday: I used my morning off to write the Change in Direction blog post that has people all a flutter. Check it out to get a new link to a new blog. After class, I drove home for a wonderful three-day weekend with the family and friends. That night, Mr. Man surprised me with tickets to the midnight premiere of Clash of the Titans, which was pretty awesome. Whoooop! Check it out!

Friday: I spent the whole morning running errands, among them finally finally finally getting around to quitting Mary Kay like I said I would months ago. Whoooop! I went and got snocones with a few friends that afternoon, which was fun. They hated me for taking pictures though.

It was really really sunny out so some of the pictures came out totally washed out-looking. Sad.Gotta love funny faces pictures. :) Whoooop!

That night, I hung out with Mr. Man and two of our close friends from high school, one of which is in Aggieland with me and the other of which escaped off to California like I hope to someday do. We made a late night IHOP run, which seems to be becoming a habit for me. :)

Saturday: Had lunch and went shopping with my friend Sydney, yes, the one that's engaged. It was great seeing her. Mr. Man took me out to a fancy dinner that night, which was really awesome. That boy makes me laugh so much. Whoooop! After that he had to go do something, so the two girls from the previous picture and I had a girl's night. We saw The Last Song, which was good but made me feel kind of stabby. Not because I disliked it, but because I'm been writing a story super similar to it and now I have to scrap it. Tssssss. But it is good, so go see it. :) We made an IHOP run that night too and became the best table ever, because we had a crapton of Easter candy with us and were giving it out to the waiters. Yes, Easter pinatas were involved. Whoooop!

Sunday: Easter! My family and friends had a big brunch together, then at noon I left to go hang out with Mr. Man for a last hour before I had to leave. :( He's still in the market for a new car, so we went and walked around a few car lots and chatted a bit. It was nice to get some relaxed alone time. Whoooop! I then drove back to Aggieland, and somehow got stupidlost on my way, which makes about zero sense since I make this drive at least twice a month. I have no idea how I managed it. Tsssss. There's also some drama going down tonight, which is not. fun. Bigger tsssssss.

Don't forget, you should TOTALLY participate, Aggie or not. Whoooop! is for awesome things that happened, while tssss is for lame things that t-sips do. :) Leave a comment with a link to your blog post if you do.

How was your weekend?

HEY, Etsy owners! Feel like hosting a giveaway for my blog-oversary celebration? Click here!

Defining Myself

Someone asked me to define myself in ten words today. As you can imagine, I stared at him completely blankly, not because I was at a loss for words but because I had no idea how to simplify myself down to ten words.

I mean, I am so many things and nothing all at the same time.

I'm a Southern girl. I'm a reader, a writer, a lover, a fighter. I'm a museum-goer, a history-obsesser, and a morality-ponderer. I'm a Christ-follower and an advice-giver. I'm a photographer wannabe, a vintage clothes admirer, and a head-in-the-clouds dreamer. I'm a hard worker, a 10k-a-month texter, and a long-distance relationship PRO. I'm an amateur cook, and an excellent doodler.

I mean. How do I reduce all that to 10 words? Honestly. Could you describe yourself in just ten words?

Also, go wish The Cynical Optimist a happy birthday! :)

A Change In Direction

As you guys know, there's been drama in my life because some of my IRL friends read this blog and use it against me (to some extent). Yet, I've been hesitating to write this blog post for a long time now (read: months), mostly because I'm afraid it'll start drama of it's own. But now it's getting to the point where something's gotta give, and this is it.

I'm not ending On the Pursuit. I love this blog, and it's been a wonderful way to meet people over the past year.

However, after all the nonsense that went down with Friend and a few other instances that I haven't talked about here as much, I've become uncomfortable talking about things going on in my life now simply because of who does read this blog, I've decided that a change in direction is necessary.

As you may or may not have noticed in the past month, I haven't really blogged about anything going on below the surface, other than the accident and thinking I'm fat. But a lot has been going on, a lot that has reduced me to crying myself to sleep pretty much every night this month. I've tried to ignore all the IRL drama, and just be myself on here, regardless of what people think, but I just can't do it as long as people who read this blog will give me hell about my honest opinion about things. Which sucks, because, some of these people are my closest friends, and wonderful friends offline. So I've been needing a place to talk and be honest, so I started another blog like I've said once or twice before that I thought I should.

No, I'm not going to link up to it. The whole point is that I want to be able to talk about how I feel like one of my best friends has seemingly abandoned me for no reason, and I have no idea why, without someone I know in real life going to him/her and saying I feel this way, when, honestly, I've basically given up dealing with it. I need a place where I can go to cry, to rejoice, and to think out loud without losing a friend over it. And this just isn't that place anymore.

But, if I don't know you IRL, and you want the link, shoot me an email (check the sidebar) and I'll hook you up. Most of you guys have been so supportive and wonderful, and I hate to offend you, because it really is only a few people who are causing a hell of a lot of grief. So, please, please, don't be offended.

No, this is not an April Fool's Joke.

I love you guys. :) I'll post again soon.