Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesday

So, once again I've decided to participate in this wonderful weekly tradition Tova Darling has so awesomely begun. This week's awkward story from me is another thing that happened second semester of senior year (like the cruise story), only I didn't need to leave the country for it.

One average, non-descript Thursday, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. No big deal, the anesthesia caused it's own funny stories, but those are not for this post. Well, by Sunday afternoon, I was getting absolutely stir crazy sitting at home doing nothing but having delicious Smoothie King and watching Friends reruns. So, I put on as much makeup as gently as I could so as to not hurt the bruises on my jaw (I surprisingly wasn't at all swollen) and set out for the mall because I heard Victoria's Secret was having a sale. This proved to be a mistake.

A couple people noticed the bruises and looked at me weird, but most seemed to figure out what was wrong pretty quickly. One lady, however, had either never seen the aftermath of a wisdom teeth extraction, or was just determined to give some advice that day. So, in Victoria's Secret, she corners me and is like "Honey, you can't let him do that to you." Uhm, what? So she goes onto the spiel about how civil/marital abuse is wrong and that I can't let my boyfriend/husband abuse me and then make me buy lingerie. So, after she's done with all this and everyone around us has officially looked at us awkwardly more than once, I finally pipe up and say "Sorry, ma'am, but I'm not being abused. I got my wisdom teeth removed." A woman nearby us snorted into her drink and the woman lecturing me looked taken aback for a second. But, going along with her determination to give advice, her response was, "Honey, I know you're not ready to admit it yet, but when you are, here's a number you can call," and pressed a domestic violence 24 hotline brochure into my hands and walked away. And I was left standing there, in the middle of Victoria's Secret, totally unsure of whether or not I could play that last scene off.

Now, I would just like to say -- even though this story is awkward, and can definitely be funny, if you are experiencing domestic violence, please do make the call. The change is possible and worth it.


  1. OMG! I literally laughed out loud when I read this! This is too funny! Great story.

  2. Oh my gosh! That was awful nice of her, but oh so funny considering the circumstances.


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